Kindness Advantage

[daydreamer]

Everyone on these forums seem to be pretty nice, and I'm taking that your all nice in the real world as well. Have you ever been taken advantage of BECAUSE you were kind? How so?

I'm sort of nice and kind of naive which people have taken advantage of, using me for their own gain (homework, favors, projects, etc.)

I'm not the only one, right?

 

[Diana]

Everyone on these forums seem to be pretty nice, and I'm taking that your all nice in the real world as well. Have you ever been taken advantage of BECAUSE you were kind? How so?

I'm sort of nice and kind of naive which people have taken advantage of, using me for their own gain (homework, favors, projects, etc.)

I'm not the only one, right?

You are not the only one.
This has happened to me many times in my life. Especially when i was younger.

 

[daydreamer]

You are not the only one.
This has happened to me many times in my life. Especially when i was younger.

It's just such a shame because I usually believe people are generally nice and when stuff like this happens it's like "GAAAAH" >>.<<

Plus I feel confused and really sad that people can be like this

 

[Bird]

Of course. It's the risk you take.

 

[This]

I don't think I get taken advantage of for being nice (although many women don't understand I don't have a motive behind my niceness) however I have been taken advantage of for being generous.

 

[Neuropedia]

I had a friend once who asked me to come over to his house because he needed to talk to someone. He sounded really upset, so went over right away. And then he drugged and sexually assaulted me...
Oh yea, and money, favours, homework kinda stuff too...







....awkward....

 

[Majesty]

People often try to manipulate me because I look nice.
Then they call me an asshole.
Hey, you were the one trying to manipulate me. hwell:

 

[Galileo]

My real friends never take advantage of me. It's more the aquaintances I have that will do that, people I hardly ever see will ask me for money, for example.

I get around that by being clear on the rules. noone can borrow from me till they pay back any debts they owe me.

I haven't got a problem with lending money to my friends/aquaintances, but there has to be a clear wish to pay it back, and a reason for needing it in the first place, that isn't drugs or alcohol.

 

[bickelz]

My dad manipulates me a lot but other than that, I usually don't get out enough for people to take advantage of me.

 

[kammy]

Yes I've been taken advantage of before. I am too nice to people, but I'm changing that.

 

[jyrffw54]

Story of my life.


I'm getting better with boundaries and where to draw the line though.

 

[donkeybals]

People often try to manipulate me because I look nice.
Then they call me an asshole.
Hey, you were the one trying to manipulate me. hwell:

It's the same for me. But I let them think they are manipulating me. And when they are at their most vulnerable state and not watching I steal their wallet.

 

[Jana]

Well, if I let them...I know when someone do that. It is not so often.

 

[daydreamer]

I don't think I get taken advantage of for being nice (although many women don't understand I don't have a motive behind my niceness) however I have been taken advantage of for being generous.

It's quite sad because women have to be on their guard Maybe your nice yet at the same time you have a tough aura around you or something? lol I don't know.

I had a friend once who asked me to come over to his house because he needed to talk to someone. He sounded really upset, so went over right away. And then he drugged and sexually assaulted me...
Oh yea, and money, favours, homework kinda stuff too...
....awkward....

I had a situation sort of like this, only my brother protected me.
Oh, and I LOVE your profile picture by the way

People often try to manipulate me because I look nice.
Then they call me an asshole.
Hey, you were the one trying to manipulate me. hwell:

whaaaaaaaa :jaw:

My real friends never take advantage of me. It's more the aquaintances I have that will do that, people I hardly ever see will ask me for money, for example.

I get around that by being clear on the rules. noone can borrow from me till they pay back any debts they owe me.

I haven't got a problem with lending money to my friends/aquaintances, but there has to be a clear wish to pay it back, and a reason for needing it in the first place, that isn't drugs or alcohol.

This is a good idea, thanks for the advice.

It's the same for me. But I let them think they are manipulating me. And when they are at their most vulnerable state and not watching I steal their wallet.

haha nice :thumb:

 

[Trifoilum]

Often enough. If not kindness, at least passivity or consideration.

 

[Free Mind]

I always watch out for people like this, honestly I have never been taken advantage of, I am always kind but I know where to draw the line. The only way I don't mind people taking advantage of me is for advice or for a chat, because it helps both me and them, sometimes atleast...

 

[not sure]

Definition of Kindness according to Wordnet

the quality of being warmhearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic
forgivingness: tendency to be kind and forgiving
a kind act

This definition goes beyond what I actually practice. I am considerate and humane. I don't really practice forgiveness but I will move on and not hold a grudge. I won't ever forget.

I think when most people speak of kindness they mean that you'll give them stuff. That's not me. If you need something, I will provide it if it will help you and you can't help yourself but I'm not just going to give you stuff for its own sake. Therefore, in that sense, I am not kind.

Like I said before, I am considerate and try my best to not harm others or create unnecessary difficulty. I share information and ideas freely. Few people value that and I'll illustrate it with a true story.

I had a friend for years who I held in very high esteem. She moved away suddenly and never kept contact. Years later we met again and she invited me out with her friends, so I went. Well, the event was clearly meant to humiliate me because she started on a speech about what was wrong with me, that she always despised me and that she only spoke to me because I could help her solve her problems. All of this was fully witnessed by her friends. I was very grateful that I am the sort of person that always has a "wall" between me and others because I was able to observe her as if she was a television character. When she was done I said a polite goodbye and left. It is amazing to me that people can be so duplicitous. Well, she certainly didn't think I was kind despite the problems I helped her solve and the hours of listening I put in to our "friendship". She shattered my innocence and I've viewed everyone with suspicion since. I don't value people who use the word kind to describe others. When I hear it, sirens start going off in my head.

 

[Jace]

I don't have much trouble with being nice, I tend to steer clear of bad situations.
Although, I do have this rare ability to be friend-zoned by women within 10.5 seconds.

 

[not sure]

I don't have much trouble with being nice, I tend to steer clear of bad situations.
Although, I do have this rare ability to be friend-zoned by women within 10.5 seconds.

You are too approachable. Nip it in the bud.

**This is a joke, in case it isn't clear**

 

[Haven]

I think the only time I ever really got taken advantage of was when I use to do back to back shifts at work 18hours/4-5hoursleep/18hours work..etc Why couldn't I just tell my bosses to shove it and find someone else....