It's gonna be alright. | INFJ Forum

It's gonna be alright.

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Barnabas, Jan 20, 2010.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 1 user.
More threads by Barnabas
  1. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    263
    Messages:
    5,241
    Likes Received:
    669
    Trophy Points:
    667
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida man
    MBTI:
    wiblywobly
    Enneagram:
    timeywimey
    "It's gonna be alright", "we'll be ok", "don't woory about it", "trust me."

    Every time I've uddered these words I have been right, literally 100%.

    My question is why is it that I constantly having to reassure other and even then they don't believe me until the ordeal is over. Why can't people just trust me, even when I've been right in the past.

    Also For the life of me, in my short life these words have never been spoken to me. At least not that I can remember. It's draining having to be the emotional support and yet never recieving any.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. Raccoon Love

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2009
    Threads:
    310
    Messages:
    5,413
    Likes Received:
    694
    Trophy Points:
    657
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFP
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    Well perhaps its because when one is emotionally unstable or depressed one starts to loose all hope, they black out and not really analyze things logically, their emotions take over them on a uncontrollable state. The person who feels this way might not just believe anymore and those phrases such as ''it's going to be ok'' or ''it's going to be alright'' might sound to cliche for them, resulting in them just ignoring you. I think the fact that it is a characteristic of an INFJ to take care of others, we are empaths after all, other types however might not have such ability and not return any sort of emotional advice, the INFJ is rather hard to understand and many people might not know how to support us aside from maybe other INFJ's..anyways just answering to the best of my ability..*hugs* :m085:
     
    Trifoilum likes this.
  3. The Jester

    Because words can be meaningless.
    People just say them to create a better social atmosphere.

    'Hey, do you think I'm fat?'
    'Of course I don't honey!'

    [​IMG]

    People lie, and it's probably for the best.
     
  4. Celsius100

    Celsius100 Community Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2009
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    218
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Very much the same here. Though on occasion it's a bit founded that the other party has doubts, like when it's to the point of finding a lost wallet in downtown Chicago during rush hour. But if I say things are going to be alright, it almost feels like all odds against it just vanish, and it turns out fine.

    Likewise, if I say it's going to rain, it will, and my friends will undoubtedly brush me aside and set up a trip to the beach/amusement park. It'd be nice if people would listen here or there, eh?

    Also, in terms of emotional issues, I believe Raccoon nailed it. Self-located stress creates a blanket that blocks off the ability to see the grand scheme of things, methinks. I'm great with helping others with this when they're stressed, but the moment I hit a certain point myself, it's like my common sense gets surgically removed. Pressure does crazy stuff.
     
    #4 Celsius100, Jan 20, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2010
    Trifoilum likes this.
  5. OP
    Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    263
    Messages:
    5,241
    Likes Received:
    669
    Trophy Points:
    667
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida man
    MBTI:
    wiblywobly
    Enneagram:
    timeywimey
    but I'm not lying or trying to improve the atmosphere. I had similar experiences in pleasant situations that went south. Or even in non-serious matters this trend occurs
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,758
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    One thing that you'll have to keep in mind, is their uncertainty is less about you than how they feel about themselves and their ability to get through a situation. People have to come terms with things on their own, not because others want them to. So, it's not about whether you're right. They need to know for themselves and believe they can get through it and survive a situation, outside of what others feel. And for many, when someone says "it's alright," or 'it's going to be ok," it can give the impression that the person is being patronizing or pushing the issue under the rug, or that "it's not that big of a deal." What seems minor to some, is a big issue for someone else. So, if someone feels overwhelmed by a circumstance and feels unable to get out of it, although they appreciate the reassurance of a friend or loved one, you don't want them to feel that their feelings of insecurity are invalid or stupid, simply because you know it's going to turn out for the best. At the end of the day, they have the right to their feelings, however seemingly unnecessary it seems to you or someone else. It shouldn't be about them feeling better just because you are right. If you're right, they may realize it later on, but remember that it's not about you, but them.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #6 Gaze, Jan 21, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2010
  7. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Threads:
    382
    Messages:
    11,688
    Likes Received:
    1,364
    Trophy Points:
    881
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    You might not know it, but I needed this thread today, for entirely different reasons. :)

    [YOUTUBE]4xA9pfaGGXg[/YOUTUBE]
     
  8. WellNoWonder

    WellNoWonder Peace Through Action

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2009
    Threads:
    67
    Messages:
    1,113
    Likes Received:
    210
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6w5
    Me too! *hugs*
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  9. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2009
    Threads:
    197
    Messages:
    6,554
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,734
    Trophy Points:
    380
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6w5
    Agreed to all this. :D
    There's also pessimism.

    Now there's factor towards the strength of the word themselves. Aside from a genuine assuring word, it's also a stock phrase, quick assuring phrase sometimes functioning just to shut people up. "awww, that's too bad. It's gonna be alright! Now shut up."

    Not everyone, especially not people in a deep depression or stress, could separate which words are genuine and which words are not.

    Also, in someone's life there would be lots of people who'd said that phrase genuinely. For every time the phrase fails to work, its effect slowly decreases, slowly becoming another empty words. (Or people went more pessimistic and cynical than before, but that's another thing. Or is it?)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Gaze likes this.
  10. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,269
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,758
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Very true.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...

Share This Page