Introverts and their Bad Rep | INFJ Forum

Introverts and their Bad Rep

PintoBean

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May 18, 2015
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Sorry, I know this is a well-trodden topic of discussion. Anyway, the latest school shooter in OR somewhere self-described himself as an "introvert." As an extreme introvert myself, I get totally skin-crawly whenever this word is bandied around concerning violent, anti-social losers. It inevitablly comes up, along with "loner" and "quiet" and "kept to himself." Basically Jung pathologized introversion, but the term has clearly evolved. I really wish popular media and psychology would attempt to give voice to the distinction between anti-social and introvert! I have been called "weirdo" and other names as long as I can remember for my introversion, and I am sure if I ever committed some infamous crime (would not!), everyone I went to grade school with would come forward to mention I sat by myself at lunch and didn't have many friends etc etc. Rant over, thank you for reading.
 
Completely agree, I try to discuss this is in my classes, to remind my students to learn more about theirs and other people's personalities to lessen the prejudice and discrimination against introversion. It's so misunderstood, and someone who lives a solitary life because they hate the world is not the same as introversion. It also gives introverts the feeling they should hate themselves or hate their introversion because nothing good can come from it. Yes, we do need to be better educated about personality differences.
 
Perhaps we can start criminalizing the psychopathic extroverts we call "hero" such as G. W. Bush. This would lend some balance to the situation.
 
Perhaps we can start criminalizing the psychopathic extroverts we call "hero" such as G. W. Bush. This would lend some balance to the situation.

you know, you are always so great at helping us see the bright side.
 
Yes, but extraverts are the majority, so they would lay the blame on us introverts anyway....
 
Pfft, I just ignore them.

I've been really introverted since public school. After Middle school, nobody really cared... then again the schools I went to were really tame compared to what most of them seem to be like. Loser liberal types getting along and all that awful stuff.
 
I really don't like how people seem to act towards introverts.

During viewings at our student home, when we pick a new housemate, it's always the introverts and calmer people who get crossed off first.
Often with someone saying, I'm fine with anyone besides that person, I cannot imagine getting along with that person. (its always an introvert)

I'm like fairly social for an introvert myself, though in short bursts :p and I managed to replace an introvert because when I came, there were only 2 housemates there both of who'm I managed to get liked by.
But no matter how hard I fight to get another introvert in here... I am never able to get another introvert in.

In the country in which I reside, extroversion is highly prized.
In elementary school, I would hear teachers and parents talk about introverted kids saying: so and so is such a sweet kid, too bad he/she is so quiet/shy/whatever introverted attribute they noticed.

Honestly it's like a social pressure transform you into being someone you're not. If you're introverted, you'll probably get bullied as well by other kids. So then its from adults and kids that you get shit.
Our society seems so geared towards idealizing extroverts that it sometimes feels like a crime to be introverted. And honestly, I quite often feel ashamed for being one because of it even though I know I shouldn't be. :(
 
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If we are talking about the "mass shooters" they do fit a particular profile for the most part.

(1) They are motivated by revenge or envy which is why most mass shootings tend to take place at schools or workplace where the shooter felt rejected.
(2) They often harbour anger, have paranoid delusions and have low self esteem.
(3) They have other factors which are tied to criminality like a history of parental abuse, a strong streak of self centreness, general lack of empathy, sometimes manifests itself in cruelty to animals.
(4) Majority of them are white males and are usually from middle class / upper middle class backgrounds.

So where does introvert fit into this? To me introverts do get a bad rep because in the popular media introversion is equated to anti social behavior.
 
Extraverts have their bad qualities. We might call bad public figures 'unscrupulous' or 'corrupt,' for example. It's only because an extravert is more open to judgment than an introvert is that people resent being made unaware.
 
Sorry, I know this is a well-trodden topic of discussion. Anyway, the latest school shooter in OR somewhere self-described himself as an "introvert." As an extreme introvert myself, I get totally skin-crawly whenever this word is bandied around concerning violent, anti-social losers. It inevitablly comes up, along with "loner" and "quiet" and "kept to himself." Basically Jung pathologized introversion, but the term has clearly evolved. I really wish popular media and psychology would attempt to give voice to the distinction between anti-social and introvert! I have been called "weirdo" and other names as long as I can remember for my introversion, and I am sure if I ever committed some infamous crime (would not!), everyone I went to grade school with would come forward to mention I sat by myself at lunch and didn't have many friends etc etc. Rant over, thank you for reading.

I know. I am only anti-social. Not introverted. Very important distinction!
 
The fear or mistrust towards introverts makes sense to me actually. Most people prize being a transparent being, ready to share, talk and have fun and all that sillyness. When someone doesn't share that much, it may be read as at least arrogance, your motives are not as apparent to other people, you don't give them enough room to trust you. However most people don't realize is that someone can mask their motives much better by pretending to be transparent, or maybe being transparent about other things. Reffering to the whole likelyness to shoot people in schools, and proneness to commit crimes.
 
For as much as I've heard introverts discussing having a bad rep, I've heard introverts giving extroverts a bad rep.

I think we just need to come to a place of understanding. We are all humans. And we all exist somewhere along a spectrum, as far as introversion/extroversion goes.

In other words, I don't think it's necessarily a matter of introverts having a bad rep, but rather a matter of people who differ slightly, but who are at their core the same, perhaps needing to make an effort to get to know each other better.

Being naturally more talkative isn't necessarily more conducive to accomplishing this either; I can hear more in silence than I can in a thousand words. It's more about really communicating with each other. And realizing that we're all the same.
 
For as much as I've heard introverts discussing having a bad rep, I've heard introverts giving extroverts a bad rep.

I think we just need to come to a place of understanding. We are all humans. And we all exist somewhere along a spectrum, as far as introversion/extroversion goes.

In other words, I don't think it's necessarily a matter of introverts having a bad rep, but rather a matter of people who differ slightly, but who are at their core the same, perhaps needing to make an effort to get to know each other better.

Being naturally more talkative isn't necessarily more conducive to accomplishing this either; I can hear more in silence than I can in a thousand words. It's more about really communicating with each other. And realizing that we're all the same.

Well we are all human but no one is the same. We can be very much alike but never the same. I do agree that people need to go to make an effort to know eachother better. (especially before pointing fingers) However extroverts can rightfully state that they already make an effort to get to meet and know people, because they go out more. Introverts on the other hand tend to go out way less often and more often to less crowded places. This means that most of the time the two groups wont run into eachother that much and as a result, they will form misunderstandings of eachother and introverts will seem to only cover the smallest of portions of the population. According to the 1998 mbti tests taken, the US population is 49.3% Extroverted, 50.7% Introverted... Thats quite the oposide of a small portion but rather half the population :p

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On a side note, I wonder if all those shooters trully are all introverts, what if some of them were extroverts that were super miserable because they were forced into an introverted lifestyle because of exterior circumstances (like bullieng)?
 
Sorry, I know this is a well-trodden topic of discussion. Anyway, the latest school shooter in OR somewhere self-described himself as an "introvert." As an extreme introvert myself, I get totally skin-crawly whenever this word is bandied around concerning violent, anti-social losers. It inevitablly comes up, along with "loner" and "quiet" and "kept to himself." Basically Jung pathologized introversion, but the term has clearly evolved. I really wish popular media and psychology would attempt to give voice to the distinction between anti-social and introvert! I have been called "weirdo" and other names as long as I can remember for my introversion, and I am sure if I ever committed some infamous crime (would not!), everyone I went to grade school with would come forward to mention I sat by myself at lunch and didn't have many friends etc etc. Rant over, thank you for reading.

I agree. People get introvert mixed up with anti-social.

I see people use the term "anti-social" for introverts that prefer not to socialize. That is not what anti-social means, people. Anti-social is when you're disruptive to the order of society and have no regard for rules or the safety of others. It's not a good thing to pin that label on someone who is simply quiet and doesn't socialize because it can actually bring attention from the authorities if the wrong person hears it.

Anti-social is when you don't care about others, destroy property, steal, beat people up, or even shoot people in extreme cases. Stop using it as a term for withdrawn people.