Introversion and happiness

[Gaze]

Inspired by this thread posted by @lefsboroboto
http://forums.infjs.com/showthread.php?t=16134

There are so many misunderstandings of introverts and what it means for an introvert to be happy.

Often, the introvert is scolded or put down for seeming to be unhappy because they don't always have a big grin on their face. I can't tell how many times people have asked, "Are you ok?" when you're just being quiet, and you don't want to engage someone in talk or conversation. Someone assumes you're sad because you're not smiling, laughing, or nonchalant. It's tiring having to plaster a smile on your face or be very jovial just to make others feel you're ok and that nothing's wrong. It's almost as if you're given the responsibility of proving to them, that you're fine. They need to see it, for you to show them everything is alright. Ironically, it's the lack of tolerance or understanding or acceptance of introversion and introverted communication styles which often makes introverts feel unhappy and less than confident about who they are.

So, introverts, what makes you happy? And how do you usually express it? How is it received?

 

[the]

Good people make me happy.

 

[88chaz88]

A whole day with Total War: Shogun 2 makes me happy.

 

[Korg]

What makes me happy?

- Femme Fatales
- Animals
- Overcast weather in the 60's
- Music
- Italian food and wine

...just to name a few. As far as how I express it - I ruminate on it; stay in my head. Sometimes I smile if I'm around people who share the same interests but otherwise I keep it to myself lest I get further annoying questions such as "why do you like that?"

 

[not sure]

Loooovvvvveee
Good friends
Tasty food
Beautiful scenery
Relaxed conversation
Comforting silences
Swings
Purple, Cerulean
Fast, maneuverable, compact, ergonomic, standard transmission cars in red and idiotic guys who challenge girls because they thinks girls can't drive and are afraid of corners.

 

[grace]

Good conversation, a good meal, compliments and [MENTION=1425]Korg[/MENTION] 's new avatar which is putting all kinds of irrepressible ideas in my head. :eyebrows:
Me-ow.

 

[This]

I'm not sure how to describe happiness for my self really, I can't say exactly that anything "makes" me happy but it seems to be my default when I'm not sad or pissed off.

 

[Saru Inc]

I like being alone.

I love going out running late at night when its just a tad brisk, or just a tad bit warm. On a clear night with a bright moon. I also love going running when its raining, but I tend to not do that as then I just smell like rain.

I love watching tv by myself, reading internet stories on computer by myself.

I love love love love writing poetry/short stories.

I dislike, however is when people force me to talk. Like my dad. God.

 

[AUM]

I'm with Sali on this one. I don't know exactly what makes me happy, I'm mostly neutral. Can a smile really be indication of happiness? I smile once in a while, but not because I was happy, it's just that I found something funny.

I don't really know how I would define happiness, to be honest. However, I do agree with the OP, most people tell me if there's something wrong with me? that I seem so 'meh'. I'm not the type of person you would invite to a party lol

 

[Norton]

Many things make me happy but I've associated none of them with being an introvert. In fact, I think the things that make me happy would make most people happy regardless of their degree of introversion or extroversion. On the other hand, going to parties clearly resonates with extroverts more than introverts and parties certainly don't make me happy.

 

[TigersGoRAWR]

What makes me happy... well, my list could go on for a long time, but I will list some of them ^^

Love.
Imagination.
Creativity.
Thinking.
Long walks.
A good book or poem.
Music.
Beautiful views.
Realizations.
Kindness + Thoughtfulness.
And long, warm cuddles. :3

 

[Kgal]

Pretty much what everyone here has said.

And I'd add...
Love - in whatever form it comes in: Giving it to beings who honestly receive - and - me honestly receiving what other beings wish to give me.

My Mom is the only one who really bugs me constantly about me being happy. When I realized that life wasn't ALL about being happy - I learned to ignore her.

When anyone else asks me if I'm doing ok because I appear to not be - I respond with a short summary of what's going on in my mind - smile - and tell them thank you for thinking of me. To me it's a gift they are asking about my welfare. I use the short summary/smile/thanks response in order to let them off the hook if they can't figure out a way to respond to me. Sometimes they do - and sometimes they don't.

When I'm happy my eyes twinkle and if I'm walking about - I might do a little jig. Last night as I was walking across the parking lot to the meditation building one of my fellow meditators asked me how I was doing as they walked away from their car. I danced a little jig and said really good. His face split into a huge grin and he walked towards me with his arms opened wide saying come here and give me some of that! The hug was wonderful. And we walked into the building with a bounce in our steps.

 

[Galileo]

People often assume something's wrong with me because of the simple fact that I don't get right into a party or a get together. If there's a lot of people, and ones I don't know, I tend to be more reserved and quiet and just listen, but that just makes people think I'm depressed or angry or upset.

I am happiest when I'm at a concert, a music jam, alone and playing one of my instrument, in a small gathering with like-minded people, out on a walk listening to music, reading my favourite books, posting on forums, at home with my husband or visiting a place I truely love, like Cornwall.

and all these things are primarily activities with not a large amount of people around.

though often people have said that performing brings over a definite change in my personality. when I'm around musicians I tend to talk more, laugh more and joke more, because I feel comfortable in that setting.

 

[Norton]

One thing that makes me happy is thinking hard and deep about a difficult problem, an invention, something technical. The funny thing is that often, when I do this, I get what appears to be a scowl on my face. Then someone will ask me what's bothering me and, of course, nothing bothers me. It's not the sort of thing I can explain because most people don't go around in public looking like this and thinking like this. But, what really annoys me is when they launch into some pronouncement about how people should smile, that this uses fewer muscles than a scowl, and that I should be friendly. Worst is when you're on an airplane sitting next to a yackety-yak extrovert. My general idea of "friendly" is to let people be, leave them alone, and not intrude upon another's solitude. What's wrong with being polite, reserved and, most important, private?

 

[Gaze]

One thing that makes me happy is thinking hard and deep about a difficult problem, an invention, something technical. The funny thing is that often, when I do this, I get what appears to be a scowl on my face. Then someone will ask me what's bothering me and, of course, nothing bothers me. It's not the sort of thing I can explain because most people don't go around in public looking like this and thinking like this. But, what really annoys me is when they launch into some pronouncement about how people should smile, that this uses fewer muscles than a scowl, and that I should be friendly. Worst is when you're on an airplane sitting next to a yackety-yak extrovert. My general idea of "friendly" is to let people be, leave them alone, and not intrude upon another's solitude. What's wrong with being polite, reserved and, most important, private?

Completely agree. I have the same problem. When i'm thinking about something or consumed with trying to understand it, I get this expression on my face, and people tell me the same thing, "why are you so serious?" "Life can't be that bad . . . " or "Why do you look like that".

And they are so bothered by it although you're simply doing your own thing, just thinking about something, minding your own business, but yet you're now this problem to them because of the expression. I can look at someone and tell when they're thinking, so I hate it when someone responds by saying, "what is wrong with you?" And then you're expected to explain your expression. It's like, seriously nothing is wrong, leave me alone? Or at least, that's what I want to say.

 

[tfg345i4u5lw]

- Overcast weather in the 60's

Love that cuz the air is all crisp.

 

[tfg345i4u5lw]

Succeeding and accomplishing my goals makes me happy. Also when people compliment me or communicate their loyalty to me. Pretty much most of the things that would make an extrovert happy.

One thing that makes me happy is when I am gone from a long weekend and I finally get home sweet home and I go in my quiet room and close the door. That is one thing that might be more geared toward what makes an introvert happy.

 

[Majesty]

alright everyone... now stop whining and get a life

 

[Galileo]

hmmm...
the smell of snow makes me happy too for some reason...

 

[Norton]

hmmm...
the smell of snow makes me happy too for some reason...

[MENTION=3230]Galileo[/MENTION]

My INFJ wife grew up in a place with a lot of snow and she claims to be able to smell it, too. I can't.

Where do you get snow in Australia? I've not been there when and where it was cold enough. Are you in the mountains? I've always wanted to ski at Perisher Blue, or some other place.