INTJ + IST/FJ

[That Girl]

What do you think about this combination when it comes to a romantic relationship. I think this person is a T type but they show an F side during our interactions. They say it's because they really care about me and that they don't show this when interacting with other people. I don't know exactly what to write here so I'll answer any questions that might help explain him. I tried to look it up on the internet but I can't seem to find anything helpful.

 

[yepunsarang]

I think I can kind of get what you're saying. My current, sweet bf is like that <3. He's a typical INTP, except he's really sensitive and can be very affectionate and emotional at times. It's just he's a little emotionally retarded and relationship-stunted. This also confuses me. I have no idea which parts of his emotions stem to "T" and "F". It might help that his mother seems to be an F and he's really close to her.

 

[That Girl]

I'm just not sure about what to do. I know that I can't be the emotional type but I'm worried that may be what he's looking for. I've been very good at attempting to show him my true self. He brings out the poet in me, which is very good. Should I stick with it or should I acknowledge this lack of emotion I have and let him go? I don't want to hurt him. It would be the worst thing.

 

[Bird]

You should trust yourself and go for it.

 

[Nixie]

As an INTJ I would say the difficult part to getting involved with me is that I don't trust easily and it takes awhile for me to logically come to the conclusion that forming feelings for (insert name) is desired. I am definately slow motion when it comes to letting someone close. I do know that my Te tends to analyze the possible viability of engaging in a relationship and I will "disregard" if it doesn't logically seem to have a chance of working.

 

[~jet]

I'm just not sure about what to do. I know that I can't be the emotional type but I'm worried that may be what he's looking for. I've been very good at attempting to show him my true self. He brings out the poet in me, which is very good. Should I stick with it or should I acknowledge this lack of emotion I have and let him go? I don't want to hurt him. It would be the worst thing.

Seems like you could discuss this with him, too... if he knows you are not the particularly emotional sort, he can at least have the opportunity to become accustomed to that. Whether he succeeds or fails is to be determined, BUT he can't do either unless you are open about it first.

I tend to get frustrated when people just don't SAY what's on their mind... typically most easily defused/diffused early and whenever applicable.

 

[That Girl]

Telling him is a good idea. I think I'll write a letter to him. I seem to be able to explain myself better with the written word.

 

[yepunsarang]

Yes, you should tell him but at the same time honestly tell him how much you care (if you do a lot...). People have different kinds of ways of loving. My bf was very honest with me, and told me he's not even sure what it means to love...that he even has a difficult time quantifying it with his family (parents, etc). But he does tell me that he loves me (and I really believe it, because I can feel it)---reminding me of how much I mean to him, how I important i am in his life. It also seems like you've just started the relationship or are contemplating it. May be later on, you'll be surprised and a surge of some kind of emotion will gush out >< hehe. Not sure which T types this happens to, but it sure does happen. As Sonyab said, may be it's all a matter of trusting the right person and allowing your emotions to come through when you are completely comfortable. This was, oddly me, even though I'm an F.