Interesting question help (relationship wise) | INFJ Forum

Interesting question help (relationship wise)

Grey Wolf

Grey Wolf

Airborne all the way!
Jan 21, 2009
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no idea
hmm.. this is kinda interesting cos I never expected this

got attached about a month ago to an ISFJ.

very long story short, we started out very very rough. before we got together we had a really big fight, to the extent that we were telling our friends we didnt want to see or speak to each other ever again.
Then we talked and communicated and realised that our problem was lack of communication. We decided to try this out, with a lot of communication this time. everything upfront, nothing left in the hands.

fast forward to now. so right now we are seeing each other about...twice a week? next week would be our first month together. so the thing is when we see each other its nice, once we go back home etc we miss each other, then we start to get used to it.
The feeling becomes almost as if I'm single again and its like talking to a friend. she has said she feels like this too. so now I'm also kinda concerned cos like if we end it now, it would be so easy. not sure why but it feels easy. Not that i want to but i dunno why it feels like it will be so easy too. she has said this as well. We're talking everyday from the moment we wake up till when we sleep. oh, we're also each others' firsts so kinda new territory for both of us.

so my question is.. what on earth is going on? and is this normal?

thanks in advance.
 
Grey Wolf said:
hmm.. this is kinda interesting cos I never expected this

got attached about a month ago to an ISFJ.

very long story short, we started out very very rough. before we got together we had a really big fight, to the extent that we were telling our friends we didnt want to see or speak to each other ever again.
Then we talked and communicated and realised that our problem was lack of communication. We decided to try this out, with a lot of communication this time. everything upfront, nothing left in the hands.

fast forward to now. so right now we are seeing each other about...twice a week? next week would be our first month together. so the thing is when we see each other its nice, once we go back home etc we miss each other, then we start to get used to it.
The feeling becomes almost as if I'm single again and its like talking to a friend. she has said she feels like this too. so now I'm also kinda concerned cos like if we end it now, it would be so easy. not sure why but it feels easy. Not that i want to but i dunno why it feels like it will be so easy too. she has said this as well. We're talking everyday from the moment we wake up till when we sleep. oh, we're also each others' firsts so kinda new territory for both of us.

so my question is.. what on earth is going on? and is this normal?

thanks in advance.
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Perhaps you both unconditionally love each other and if you stay together that's good - and if she wants to leave - that's ok with you too - because you want her to be happy.

What is normal anyway? Whatever works for you and brings you joy is normal for you.

I love the fact you two communicate honestly with each other.
This may be too nosy - but do you mean this is the first time you've both had sex?
 
It's especially awesome that you hated each other at first. Why? I don't know. Maybe it just seems more real than people magically falling right in love with each other.
 
Why not staying with her for a while longer? you might learn more about yourself, and about life in general.

What have you got to lose?
 
Kgal said:
Perhaps you both unconditionally love each other and if you stay together that's good - and if she wants to leave - that's ok with you too - because you want her to be happy.

What is normal anyway? Whatever works for you and brings you joy is normal for you.

I love the fact you two communicate honestly with each other.
This may be too nosy - but do you mean this is the first time you've both had sex?
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ahhh i guess I have typed wrongly haha. i meant firsts as in first relationship for both of us haha. sorry last night was kinda tired haha.
and yeah we talked about it more today and realised we're both just so comfortable with each other. and we have both said that we do not have any intention to leave haha.
was just wondering if this was normal. apparently it is haha

Black Sheep said:
It's especially awesome that you hated each other at first. Why? I don't know. Maybe it just seems more real than people magically falling right in love with each other.
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hahaha yeah we were saying that in a way it helped us understand each other and we know what happens when we dont communicate haha

ThisIsWhoIAm said:
Why not staying with her for a while longer? you might learn more about yourself, and about life in general.

What have you got to lose?
Click to expand...

oh I'm not leaving haha. and neither is she thankfully. i was just wondering if it was normal for this to suddenly feel like we were best friends
 
oh alls good now btw haha. we realised it was normal.
sorry for the trouble!
 
I have been dating my boyfriend for seven years this July, and when we lived together we saw each other every day, but living separately we also see each other about twice a week, or once a week during school, so I can relate with feeling detached and becoming attached again when you see your partner. That being said, it helps you to have and maintain your own identity and other friendships outside of the relationship.
 
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