INFP and human cameleons

[Morgain]

I have been talking online with this MBTI goeroe (ENTP). And he said the following about INFP's:

One of my best friends is INFP. From him I learned the word "confluent" meaning "the tendency to "flow together" with the other, so that your own desires and opinions become almost invisible". Maybe this is shocking but the question is, is this so bad? It is an enormous strenght. With this capability, INFP's can build bridges between people, it makes them the best diplomats in the world. And that because of the fact that there major type (INFP) is not dominant. It is more like it breaths "listening" wich leads to openness.

And now I think of it, maybe this is the biggest difference between INFJ and INFP. INFJ can know an other person by looking at him, by seeing small details or by getting some intuitive information. While INFP morves into the other person, almost become the other person. Taking over there way of talking, acting, thinking, taking over there emotions. And by examining themselfs, the way they have changed, the emotions they have when being with this person and the way there thinking has changed, they can nail down the personality of this person.

any thougts on this?

 

[Morgain]

I have noticed this with shiatsu. Other students look at the patient and can see clearly in small details what is wrong with this person. I need to start the treatment and than tune into his energy and than I examine what I feel inside, how my energy has changed to find out what is wrong with this person.

by the way, this guy is very much convinced I'm INFP :shocked:

 

[jlynnr]

wooooooooooooooahhhhhh. I hadn't thought about that but that is SO INTERESTING. When I'm beginning to make friends with someone, I tend to copy their mannerisms, and reflect them in a way...I need to think about that more.

thinking more about it...It doesn't happen when I've only just met someone. Or when I'm SUPER good friends with them. It's when I'm at the like middle point....the point where we're not quite friends but we're very close acquaintances.

 

[NeverAmI]

I can actually relate to this heavily. It falls into that idea that whenever I find someone with strengths, I attempt to emulate those strengths. There isn't anything creepy about this, it is not like I go and try to steal their identity. It is more about learning how they tick, putting myself in their shoes and learning how they function.

I think Si helps me to collect that data and I can compare it to both myself and other people that I meet. My Si isn't horribly strong, but it is enough.

Some psychologists mention how people tend to imitate gestures and other quirks of people they admire, perhaps the lead functions of INFP's take that a step further.

BTW Morgain, by goeroe did you mean guru?

 

[jlynnr]

I can actually relate to this heavily. It falls into that idea that whenever I find someone with strengths, I attempt to emulate those strengths. There isn't anything creepy about this, it is not like I go and try to steal their identity. It is more about learning how they tick, putting myself in their shoes and learning how they function.

I think Si helps me to collect that data and I can compare it to both myself and other people that I meet. My Si isn't horribly strong, but it is enough.

For me this is an unconscious thing I do, rather than something I think about. And my Si is my lowest function...

hunh.

maybe there are different ways to go about it.

maybe?

 

[acd]

Makes sense.

I had a boyfriend (INTJ) who is very different from me. I payed close attention to him when I was with him and listened intently to anything he said. It's hard to explain how it happened, but I did merge with his thinking. I came to a point where I understood where he was coming from, and could anticipate where his mind might lead him next. I guess you could say I adapted to his thinking and learned how to relate to him better based on that. It's tricky though, because it's easy to lose yourself in another person doing that. I have thought of it as a negative thing, because it seemed like I had given up part of myself to understand his mental processes. Perhaps I am not developed enough to be at the diplomat level.
I've never experienced that with anyone else as intensely as I have with him. I think it went so far because I liked him so much and was attracted to his difference.

I do it small scale sometimes, though. If I actually care enough to not be totally aloof. Just try to evaluate things based on the perceived point of views of others involved..

 

[dorkymagenta]

And now I think of it, maybe this is the biggest difference between INFJ and INFP. INFJ can know an other person by looking at him, by seeing small details or by getting some intuitive information. While INFP morves into the other person, almost become the other person. Taking over there way of talking, acting, thinking, taking over there emotions. And by examining themselfs, the way they have changed, the emotions they have when being with this person and the way there thinking has changed, they can nail down the personality of this person.

any thougts on this?

I have always thought of myself as a dull mirror to my surroundings, and a little bit of everyone I have ever known.

 

[VH]

I have seen INFJs and INFPs do the conlfuence thing.

INFJs actually have a natural reflex to do it because Fe, especially in the secondary preference is very inclined to accommodate and form identity by social groups. With Ni dominance, this makes INFJs very likely to go along to get along.

INFPs seem to do this more because they want personal harmony, feel deeply, are reserved in expressing it, and can be so overwhelmed with the possibilities that they take no action... leaving them to get along to go along.

I think this is another instance where the two types fill the same role with different motivations.