Is it just me or all the girls here are attracted to NT's while all the men are attracted to NF's?
INFJ's love NT's
- Thread starter dneecey
- Start date
Oooh oh ooh! I have another question for the NT's. Do you think that the NF's can be overly romantic to the point of it being a bit annoying? And do you only enjoy that occasionally?
I'm loving the responses to this thread, by the way.
I'm loving the responses to this thread, by the way.
I'm attracted to NF's as long as they have a strongly developed rational (T) side and are intelligent. Of course, that's true for most women.
Sometimes. I haven't known this to be a common trait among NF's, though. A lot of them were indifferent to romanticism and the inflated hype around human courtship including my girlfriend who is an INFJ. But I did know an INFP girl once who was insanely annoying with all the dramatic feedback loops she had going on in her head which often showed up in her relationships with males. She wanted some kind of Disney-esque bullshit that no person over the age of 14 could've taken seriously, let alone kept aloft simply from the sheer emotional investment it would've required.
And, no, I don't enjoy that occasionally.
Sometimes. I haven't known this to be a common trait among NF's, though. A lot of them were indifferent to romanticism and the inflated hype around human courtship including my girlfriend who is an INFJ. But I did know an INFP girl once who was insanely annoying with all the dramatic feedback loops she had going on in her head which often showed up in her relationships with males. She wanted some kind of Disney-esque bullshit that no person over the age of 14 could've taken seriously, let alone kept aloft simply from the sheer emotional investment it would've required.
And, no, I don't enjoy that occasionally.
I don't think I'm overly romantic. In fact, I think I would largely be truly romantic in subtle, but effective, ways. I'm a pretty private person. I guess I wouldn't mind serenading one time at a concert or something, because it seems really fun and it's sort of a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I would do things like that, if I really felt like it. If my partner were overly romantic, though, I would feel obligated to meet those needs, though I probably wouldn't because I wouldn't feel comfortable. That's just my INFJness.
Too much can be corny and cliché. Too little seems sort of cold. I would like the momentary feeling that I'm living out a book or movie; it appeals to my imagination. Maybe all my Feely stuff is why I sometimes have identified with women more than men.
Did we have a thread on what people thought was romantic? Would be interesting to read.
Disney-esque bullshit of course.
As for the developed T, I can understand that. I believe the Infj's recognition of reality, and desire/need for authenticity and truth, are what level our impulses for "romance." That being said we can see every day "mundane" things like just having our partner in the same room with us while we are both lost in separate projects, with the occasional contact (hand to shoulder, etc.) as romantically fulfilling. I can't speak for all of us, but I don't need much. Engage my thoughts, touch me sometimes, be around.
I feel however that this is why I am drawn to NT's, they keep me in check in a way, because I think the romantic is sweet, but I'm not a fan of toothaches.
Fundamentally, I think she felt really unattractive so her requirements from men to feel secure about herself went far into the realm of over-compensating. That is, she needed someone willing to partake in a lot of co-dependent fantasizing, creating and upholding impossible ideals, emotional mollycoddling, etc.
It was like she was a little kid and always wanted to play make believe because it was more interesting and safe than reality. She'd try to engage males from this standpoint and it was obnoxious and silly. Plus, you had "handle her with kid gloves" (her terminology) - which, to me, meant she couldn't tolerate many reflections of herself that didn't feature her as a princess.
what's that exactly?
When a girl tries to inhabit a fantasy rather because it's preferable to reality. Kinda what I wrote above.
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Ah, I see. Well, I've come across many an immature female as above. It seems more common among younger women. I think it's also the younger demographic that employs the use of the infamous mind-games. Younger women, on the whole, seem a lot more insecure than their older counterparts, which is why I've often been more attracted to the latter.
Perhaps it's true in the MB world, but the guys I know getting laid like crazy in the real world are all Sensors.
Right - it's an issue of maturity, not typology.
Also, there's a lot of younger girls out there that are mature - the challenge is to find them.