INFJs and the martyr complex

[sistermadly]

I posted this in another forum and got some feedback from a few other INFJs that they can strongly relate to it. While I do most of my posting in the other forum, I do come here to lurk relatively often when I can

 

[Ecton]

I'm a 4W5 and have been described as everythign from 'volatile' to 'passive aggressive'. In my experience, people see what they want in an INFJ, not what is there. Male INFJs often compensate with upfront honesty, but this doesn't work, other people's need to project is too strong.

As for what is internal to me, I was highly susceptible to what you describe. At first, this stopped because I couldn't play the role any more and live. But later, I started to see just how eroded and ancient the human condition is, and realize that there is no mesiah possible inside the primate body. At this point, I direct people towards the forces that I think can help them, and those are external to all of us. I would say that I am still reactionary, but perhaps not in ways that come across clearly to others. I'm not sure how to proceed with these thoughts,I would need your input.

 

[sistermadly]

First of all, thanks for reading my long-ass op! I rarely start threads, I

 

[bagelriffic]

how common it is for other INFJs to feel ‘in the weeds’ or really confused about who’s being out of line in the first few moments of conflict with another person

quite a bit, until i get some time to be alone and think about it

it seems to me like it’s rather common for us to doubt our anger is justified- at least at first- and it seems common for us to suspect our own expectations are the culprit.

^ spot on with me at least, and so the end result is often meek if any immediate response