INFJ's and ESTP's | INFJ Forum

INFJ's and ESTP's


down the rabbit hole
Dec 20, 2008
INFJs and ESTPs and Stress

Let's start with our friends the INFJs. How can you tell when an INFJ is under stress, particularly at work?

One common way to tell that INFJs are feeling stressed is when they limit their options to just one. They might insist there is only one solution to a problem. Others become extremely critical or angry, often blaming people for their troubles. Some INFJs accuse other people of failing to help, while some will make even the simplest task unnecessarily complex. There can be paradoxical behavior: some INFJs might extravert a great deal, saying harsh things with little regard for the feelings of others. In contrast, some INFJs can become rather introspective and shut themselves off from the world or outside help. Still other INFJs set unrealistic goals for themselves, which just makes matters worse. Finally, some INFJs might eat or drink too much.

What are possible stressors for INFJs? Well, being forced to learn or retain vast amounts of detailed information can often have that affect. Being around too many people, particularly those whom the INFJ considers shallow can be stressful. If the INFJ feels like he or she is under great critical scrutiny, they can feel overwhelmed. Finally, if people are underappreciated or emotional charged conflict is not resolved, INFJs can feel stressed.

In contrast, when ESTPs are under stress, then can lose their sense of humor and become quite sarcastic. Others become disorganized, forget things, and lose their drive and ambition. Some ESTPs isolate themselves from others, feeling as if no one cares about them. They can appear to think only about themselves, or become passive-aggressive, or extremely competitive. Some ESTPs can try to use their intuition and figure out what’s going on, but they often draw the wrong conclusions when stressed. Still others try to overcome stressful feelings by staying in constant motion or action, without considering what it is they are doing.

Things that can cause stress to erupt for ESTPs include having their trustworthiness or abilities challenged. Feeling penned in, with no possibility to act independently or make changes can be stressful for many ESTPs. If people accuse them of not putting in enough effort on a project, some ESTPs can feel misunderstood and resentful. Likewise, when others accuse them of lacking commitment or wanting to play instead of taking care of their responsibilities, ESTPs can feel stressed.

Communicating with INFJs

This month we'll continue with the series on how to best communicate with each type.

As a general principle, INFJs prefer people who are supportive, kind, honest, sincere, and appreciative. They like those who show vision, ideas, possibilities, and broad concepts. Values are usually quite important to INFJs, so those who share the same values are likely to be good speaking partners. Insightful comments and personal commitment are also important to most INFJs. Like other Intuitive types, they often enjoy or prefer people who use metaphors to explain their ideas. Like other Feeler types, they want to know how people will be affected. Like other Introverts, INFJs often want uninterrupted time alone to think about the issues. Because many INFJs are private people, you'll need to listen carefully for their insights. It might take some time before they have enough trust to be truly open with another person.

Areas that could cause difficulty in communicating with INFJs include people who focus on minutiae or routine affairs. They generally dislike those who are too critical, blunt, or judgmental. Many have difficulty giving or receiving negative feedback. INFJs usually do not like being pressured into making quick decisions or giving immediate answers, nor do they like surprises. Most INFJs do not like being asked to take a quick look at something, then make a decision. A focus on logic at the expense of emotions or people will not appeal to them. Likewise, focusing only on the short-term, with no consideration of the long-range implications, will not interest them much.
INFJs and ESTPs in Organizations

Let's continue with the articles on each type and how they fit into organizations. This month we'll consider INFJs and ESTPs and examine where they might fit best and some of the possible weak spots for each.

INFJs tend to prefer workplaces that focus on ideals and making a difference in the lives of others. Personal growth and development are important for them and others. They enjoy harmonious environments where people are considerate of one another. INFJs usually follow through on their commitments, are full of integrity and consistency, and often have a future orientation. They tend to be organized, respectful, and cooperative types, working in a quiet, persistent way towards their goals. INFJs often want time alone to concentrate and work on creative ideas. They can be quite determined in pursuing their ideals, often influencing others with their vision. Often, they prefer to work in small groups or alone.

Potential problem areas include the tendency to spend too much time alone, leading to isolation, and the possibility that their vision and ideas are not considered by the group. They can be reluctant to give honest, direct criticism when needed. INFJs might also fall into the trap of believing they know what's best for the future, perhaps ignoring present realities or constraints. Others can lack assertiveness and be unaware of office politics, which can hinder their progress.

Our friends the ESTPs are quite different. If there's one thing they frequently enjoy, it's action. They work quite well during crises, often quickly taking charge. They can be quite persuasive, direct, and assertive. Their focus is often on immediate results. ESTPs usually enjoy workplaces that allow for fun and flexibility in doing the job. While rules can be useful, so can breaking rules when practical. ESTPs are often calculate risk takers who are realistic hands-on learners. They are frequently good at negotiating, seeking to get quick results and move on. ESTPs often enjoy technology and new equipment.

Some areas of concern for ESTPs might be appearing blunt, inconsiderate, and demanding, while ignoring the impact of their actions on people. Because of their here - and - now focus, they can overlook the future or wider implications of today's actions. ESTPs can move from one task to the other without finishing any because a new problem is more interesting than an old one. Other ESTPs might become so involved in outside hobbies or sports that their work can suffer. Their focus on tasks can leave people feeling unappreciated. They can also forget people's feelings in their rush to get things done now.

I got all that from

very interesting... i like it and really appreciate it... tks sumone...
Your welcome.
My mother's an ESTP, actually - she's brave, brash, and beautiful but I can only take her in measured doses because fundamentally we don't think about things the same way...and I keep hurting her feelings because of frequent misunderstandings. :(