INFJ-INFJ Relationships

[Mogura]

So, have you ever been in a relationship with a fellow INFJ? Inquiring minds would like to know:

• How did you meet?
• How long have you been together, or how long were you together?
• What aspects of the relationship or your partner did you appreciate the most?
• What aspects of the relationship or your partner did you appreciate the least?
• Why did you break up (if applicable)?

 

[Billy]

[

*]How did you meet?

Yes, we met online. but she lived close by.

[*]What aspects of the relationship or your partner did you appreciate the most?

She was a lot like me in a lot of ways... which was weird but cool. Luckily it was my positive qualities that seemed the most similar to hers. We were both clever and driven, very "alpha-ish" in the way we applied our beliefs. We had intense/incredible mental/physical sexual chemistry and both gave 100% to it. We both enjoyed making the other smile/be happy, like preferred it to being made happy, which just made the whole thing work, but we both spent a lot of time in each others heads. So there was a really good mental connection.

[*]What aspects of the relationship or your partner did you appreciate the least?

TBH we were only together a short while because at the time, I was being seriously immature and shady. Granted I was healing from a long term relationship that ended. Not that that is an excuse for my asshole behavior, I am not a victim of my environment, I did that fully aware against my better nature. She was pretty awesome all in all, but I think ultimately I might have started to get annoyed by the same things I liked about her... like, she's alpha-ish in her application of beliefs and a fixer, so she would have been constantly trying to mold me into something else I believe, and the being in each others head thing is just a road to paranoia city! To be constantly worried what they're thinking, and how it applies to things and how I effect that and trying to make the "right moves" all the time... we both seemed to do it, and it would have just culminated I think in problems later. But in the soft light glaze of lustful 1st meetings and initial beginnings it was so charming.

[*]Why did you break up (if applicable)?

As hinted about before, I was an A-hole. I was being really selfish and mean at that point because I was in a "treat women like shit" mentality brought on by a bad breakup and a lot of feelings of insecurity. So I was essentially dating multiple women and using them for their company, their warmth, and their sex, and while I did share myself back fully well almost fully I never intended to be tied down so soon again, so I came into the relationship on a lie, perpetuated the lie with more lies, spent days on end awake driving between NY and CT on the redbull to stay awake, weed to dull, and sex to soothe diet. I dropped contact with her when I felt she was getting too attached and I felt like I was getting attached.(Which set off the SCARY alert).

And there I left it and ignored all her phone calls, emails etc. I did try to contact her when I felt guilty about it a few months later, to which she ignored. I gave it another shot around 6 months later and was able to talk to her and re-friend her to a degree, but any chance of something happening again seemed tossed and gone.

 

[Free Mind]

Iv'e been in a relationship for about 3-4 years now with a fellow INFJ. ^_^



How did you meet?

Easy, twas by luck of teh interwebs.


What aspects of the relationship do you appreciate the most?

Deep thinking and talking sessions, snuggles, relaxation....there's just too much to say. We have many deep connections. And amazing imaginations. ^_^


What aspects of the relationship do you appreciate the least?

I hope she would point out things i'm doing wrong more, so I can fix my problems. But then she might think i'm not doing something wrong.

 

[KorJax]

So, have you ever been in a relationship with a fellow INFJ? Inquiring minds would like to know:

• How did you meet?

Internet! Funny how this seems to be a theme. We talked online for about a month, swapped pics of each other sometime during that span (nothing lewd of course). I was going to attend a game night for some club at my university, and decided to invite him for our first time meeting as friends. I didn't exactly have high expectations but I wanted to be around other people since we both seemed to be more comfortable in new situations when there is a group involved.

Who would have thought that we had such great chemistry? It was an hour drive to his place and to the university and somehow we ended up talking the entire time, despite him being tired and me saying it's cool if he sleeps in my car. And how usually such things make me feel awkward.

After several meeting up's later (across the span on a month) he asked me out and I accepted on the terms that we'd not take things too seriously too fast as I know from past experience that can really lead down a bad road (especially for INFJ types)

• How long have you been together, or how long were you together?

Not long so far. A few months. We are still in our "honeymoon" phase, though I'm trying to keep things in a more rational perspective so there's less pressure and "need to impress" going on

• What aspects of the relationship or your partner did you appreciate the most?

I absolutely adore his mannerisms and he seems to adore the same in me We also can talk comfortably with each other one on one, which is really rare for me. He cleans up after himself and is borderline OCD which I think is pretty cute. Has a very good relationship with his mother and is very "humanitiarian" and considerate when it comes to others. He knows how to show affection!! This is big, my last ex did not. We love to just DO stuff together, even if in the grand scheme of things we really didn't do much. Walking around some small town for a day in freezing weather and making a crazy adventure out of it sounds like a raw deal but I can have a lot of fun and still feel good around him

• What aspects of the relationship or your partner did you appreciate the least?

Indecisiveness. This is the big thing, because we are BOTH like this. It helps though that we both recognize it and I've gotten a lot better at being decisive about things over the years personally (it's something I've been trying to improve for a while). He also is inexperienced, which while adorable and attractive is also a boon in that it's easy for him to build up expectation. Oh, and he so self defeating at times! I know I can be too, but it's to the point where he is a damn good artist but never finishes or shows anyone anything because he thinks everything he does sucks. I'm trying to work with him on that though

These are pretty minor though, because I realize that everyone has their vices and the point in being in a relationship is partly to learn to accept another on a deeper-than-surface level, and knowing if it's really important to your overall happiness

 

[Kleffy]

How did you meet?
We somehow got put into the same math class.

How long were you together?
Nine months. Not bad for a high school relationship.

What aspect(s) of your relationship did you enjoy most?
The fact that I could relate to someone emotionally and have deep, intelligent conversation was very attractive. We could use our creativity and imaginations together. Being ourselves was easy. C:

What aspects of your relationship did you enjoy least?
He was exactly the same as me. Basically, he was me in man form.
That provided no interest/chance to find something new about him. It was the same all the time.

Why did you break up (if applicable)?
I thought that he needed a backbone. There was nothing wrong with the boy at all! I just thought that he wasn't the one for me....our relationship got to the point where I was embarrassed to be around him, and I felt like the worst person in the world for thinking that way. I'm just the kind of girl who likes it when the guy takes the initiative.


I guess I would be the minority in this situation. Being in a relationship with someone who is exactly like me would not keep me interested. Oh, well. You live and you learn, right?