INFJ ignoring INTJ
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Why are you flirting if you are not looking for a girlfriend? Wouldn't that like be a waste of energy... inefficient?
If she's an NF or an SJ for that matter she might take your flirting for genuine interest!
I'm a bit wiser now but younger NFs might find you confusing. You don't flirt like SPs for example. Even when you're joking, you're serious. And conversation galore often about highly philosophical issues, indeed.
But for all your IQ, I have to say, SPs can read me like a book unlike you guys. One SP once said to me straight up "I know what you want, but I can't give it to you".
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You should always use your native flirting mode and present yourself for who you are. This creates the greatest litmus for finding someone who can actually want you for who you really are... and is receptive to what you want.
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Well, I find her attractive and so naturally I want to talk to her. I don't have to be actively seeking a girlfriend. And usually it's better if you're not that interested. If things go well, then we'll go further. If not then we'll part ways. All things in measure...
No, I don't want to be friends. I find her sexually attractive. I have enough female friends...
If you plan to seduce her you'll need to know something about her, the actual girl, so get to it. You won't find your answer here. As that wise crab Sebastian said, "Go ahead and kiss the girl!" No not literally. He's a crab! Don't take your advice from a crab.
INFJs don't have it with someone they are not that interested in on the contrary so if you date an INFJ you've got to understand we are not working on the same assumptions. Unless you make your assumptions clear right from the start and we decide that, that's OK, then OK. But still the likeliness of us falling for you is very high.
It's not because you don't say you're not that interested that she won't assume you aren't. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
So please, please, pretty please if you need to let off steam go find a sexy SP, no strings attached SP. There is really no such thing as a no strings INFJ. If you have sex with on the first date and never call again we will always remember you fondly as an as-hole.
OR get to know her and maybe develop something more than skin deep. Have something more than physical sex have mental sex too. Physical sex is one thing, mental is something else.
LOL I don't think there are enough SP's around here to refute this post--perhaps they are all out having casual sex with INTJs.....damn, could someone point out where I could find an SP male???
Kidding!!!!
I still stick with my advice of just getting past building strategy and get to actual effort.
Kidding!!!!
I still stick with my advice of just getting past building strategy and get to actual effort.
But Lea, have you ever heard of the many stories of women (mostly ENFP) dating INTJs and becoming frustrated because of the slow pace? There are stories out there of women waiting a full year until the INTJ opened up.
And although I never saw myself like that, I realized I'm perfectly along that line, though not to that extreme: I think it's better if one is "not that interested" because first I don't want to appear needy... so I don't develop feelings "ahead", but always in sync with the other. And secondly, I'm very cautious. I don't approach someone I'm not that interested in
And also, I think it's somehow impolite to just "display" my interest so openly. I don't like sending out strong signals. Somehow I like the state of talking with someone I'm interested in while keeping my signals in check. And from my experience with INFJs I think that's what they liked about me. Do you agree with that?
Definitely, applying it is more fun! I wanted to talk to her last week, but she was absent. So in the meantime I could as well just talk about it.
I also realized that there are 3 INFJs I'm interested in: The first I met last spring and it really sparked, but she had a boyfriend. The second contacted me last summer, but somehow we never managed to meet (technical problems). And now this one.
And I do see the similarities between them... interesting stuff this MBTI.
It's how you show your interest that determines whether you are perceived as needy! If you act yourself she is not going to perceive you as needy on the contrary. The INTJs I've met are pretty self-confident guys they never came across to me as needy. Just talking to her and paying attention to her will give her the signal that you are interested without going overboard.But Lea, have you ever heard of the many stories of women (mostly ENFP) dating INTJs and becoming frustrated because of the slow pace? There are stories out there of women waiting a full year until the INTJ opened up.
And although I never saw myself like that, I realized I'm perfectly along that line, though not to that extreme: I think it's better if one is "not that interested" because first I don't want to appear needy... so I don't develop feelings "ahead", but always in sync with the other. And secondly, I'm very cautious. I don't approach someone I'm not that interested in
Then you really need to get to know her and see if you really like her. You should also give her information about yourself so that she can get to know you. Great relationships are based on knowledge of oneself and of others.They are based on honesty. Honesty leads to trust and ultimately makes true intimacy possible.
Less mature NFs tend to jump in the deep end. They see someone they like and they just fall in love. Less mature NTs tend to even be scared of putting their toe in the water. Both these approaches lead to equally undesirable results.
The trick is to shift both our behaviour to the middle and then it becomes complementary! We learn to be more cautions and take our time. You learn to be less cautions and more involved on the emotional side of things. For me the best relationships are the ones you can learn from the other person.
The trouble is very few people are willing to be honest, learn and change. Why because it's difficult and painful at times. Romantic relationships are the most difficult but the most satisfying of all.
Anyway these are all my opinions you don't need to believe a word.
Don't send strong signals, send clear signals. Be honest.
I don't know what you mean by display! You can tell someone you like them just by looking at them... You caught her staring at you didn't you?
I agree I prefer low key
If you read Cryo Soul's description of sex I think you will get a better idea of what the archetypal INFJ thinks about it.
Just so that you're warned
http://forums.infjs.com/showthread.php?t=17252&page=5
Just so that you're warned
http://forums.infjs.com/showthread.php?t=17252&page=5
Update: I have made contact with the INFJs I'm interested in. The conversation really flows (N is a blessing), though it's awkward for an INTJ to steer the conversation or to even get them out of their shell. Since then we started greeting each other in the hallway and exchange a few words now and then. Well, let's see!
This needs to be repeated because its the truth for an INFJ.
Don't bother this girl you only going to use here for sex go find someone else. Someone who wants a meaningless fling.
I yes my opinion still stands even if its a different INFJ. Don't use an INFJ or they will simply door slam you with out a hint of remorse .