INFJ feelings and permission
- Thread starter wolly.green
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- Sep 28, 2008
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She was auditioning for an Alicia Keys music video.
I think you too my friend
No harm pretending to be human sometimes ...... but a free elf always.
No
When we do all the thinking work it is done by Ti. Like when thinking about your own theories or why someone did something (Fe can tell us here how the person might have been feeling but not always).
Thinking is processed by Ti and Feelings by Fe (we have to speak due to 'e')
Yes i realize that. But feeling comes before thinking for INFJ's. Meaning you prioritize your Fe above Ti when making choices. This is why i wanted to know if you need consent from your Fe to express your Ti thoughts. But in particular, to express your Ti thoughts that might cause offense or discontent.
It depends mostly with whom am I dealing with
With NTs I m pretty straight forward (but not so much that it may threaten their sense of who they r)
With non-NTs its Fe alert mode (if u know what I mean)
Interesting! This thread is very good food for thought Wolly. The terminology helps to confuse things here, I suspect. There isn't a good verb to express the activity of Ni, like there is with 'think' or 'feel'. The word 'intuit' is horrible and mangles the meaning. The question you are asking is as if I asked you whether you need the permission of your Ne before you are allowed to think anything. I live in my Ni, though I verbalise it internally with Ti. My Fe to a considerable extent determines what I share of all that with others, and that is heavily coloured by human values - but this is truly secondary. It doesn't determine my view of things, but only - to some extent - what and how I share this.
Interesting question @wolly.green (now, let me see if I can boil my thoughts down quickly, short, and thoroughly)
- The feeling function in the auxiliary position is not primarily about emotions, nor only the act of personal expression. Extroverted feeling in the auxiliary position is one of the primary ways an introverted perceiving person can actively/consciously present themselves and, in turn, is engaged with from outside of themselves.
- The dominant function is the first preference of who an individual sees as their "self"; it's who they are and what they would recognize as their "home". The auxiliary function is what is most commonly recognized(esp. by others) as a person's "personality". It's the style and preference for how one defends their existence(their dominant function/or "their Self"). And it's an extremely important dynamic, regardless of one's inherent intelligence, integrity, abilities, and weaknesses. If there is no agreement on who one espouses to be and how the outside world accepts/acknowledges the person, then there is no demonstrable truth or understanding of who a person is and what they are about.
- The thinking function in the tertiary position is not primarily about logic, sharing opinions, or about being "unemotional". The best way I can describe the tertiary function, especially Introverted Thinking tertiary in the INFJ, is that it is the farthest manifestation, or destination-of-reach, of the dominant function's initial premise of the Self. Introverted Thinking is the stuff that INFJs are really after: clarity, the correct answer, undoubted certainty about the conclusion of Introverted Intuition's visions/investigations/experiments/hunches. It's the rewards of knowledge after a long process of patience and learning, justifying all of the doubts about what an INFJ had endured(mostly about one's weird starting point in NI) via Fe to get there.
- Ultimately, to answer your question: no, as an INFJ I do not need to express my true feelings in order to have my own thoughts. A matter of fact, I'll be honest, I don't really like or care to share a lot of my feelings most of the time. I really do prefer to nerd/geek out on stuff. I can spend entire weeks without sharing anything to anyone, and be just fine. No, what I really see is that a) with extroverted feeling, my style is going to look a lot more interpersonal, "authentic", and even at times emotionally expressive because I'm not afraid or too sensitive about feelings themselves - especially when their expressed/acknowledged for the sake of unspoken truth. b) I find that much of life, even if I'm doing "thinker-oriented" projects, people don't like to talk to me about their theories, opinions, discoveries, or ideas[they prefer I work quietly alone and only come to them if something is really broken or great/worth talking about. lol]. No one wants to hear me, either, yap about technicalities, potential strategies, or the minutiae involved in tasks. No. People like to talk about their feelings, what they like, and how they "don't have anyone else to talk to about x[ issues]", etc. Why? c) It all comes back around to the Self, Truth, and the need for Understanding(agreement), again.
- [Rant, sorry]: The only way we know anything for sure, it seems, is by mutual understanding(also related to "peer review"). You have a Self, you have a premise for your existence(dominant function). Now fulfilling that premise, as in one's purpose, requires justifying the truth of the premise of who one actually is. So you need justifications. A Te-aux type is doing a lot of the same thing an Fe type is. They are just using a different approach. They can reach an understanding, agreement of truth, by actively and consciously expressing clarity and structure, which is faithful to an already well proven process. Therefore, with Te-aux, although you may doubt their conclusions at times, you can't really justifiably disagree that they didn't follow the rules precisely. With Fe-aux, The Self is struck with (for lack of better words) a "wash of bullshit". You need to find some sort of understanding to justify the premise of one's very existence? But how do you do that if one's fundamental conscious knowledge of themself is a mystery? Ni-doms are metaphysical eye-balls(remember?). And following an agreed upon "proven" process didn't work. It's not satisfying. There's more to it than what has been "canonized". Therefore, I find myself constantly having to work at "being relatable"-which also helps fulfill the necessary element of "agreement" within understanding - and try to understand what's going on from a human/subjective perspective, so that I can have as clear of a view as I possibly can, of the real truth about what all this experience is about - that is within the fullest of the full context[Ni].
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