INFJ and birthdays? | INFJ Forum

INFJ and birthdays?

CoffeeShopDiva

CoffeeShopDiva

Community Member
Jan 18, 2009
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INFJ
I always forget people's birthdays! Its such a horrible trait! Unless someone reminds me that its coming up, I usually have no idea!

Does anyone else do this? You would think that my Jness would not allow me to forget people's birthdays... because its kinda hurtful to others.

Ideas?
 
I have the same problem. I think there are ways of getting the desktop calendar to send reminders, but I haven't figured it out yet. I have a half-compiled list of birthdays and tend to forget these as well. e-cards can be a bit of a help when they allow you to send them in the future, and they also send an email receipt. Sometimes I use those as a little help.
 
Get some sort of electronic device (calendar program or mobile/cell phone) to remind you two days before important dates. Mind you, it has to be some device you use almost every day for it to help.

That said, I have forgotten my birthday for about three years running. :md:
 
I'm also late all the time.. and I'm constantly messy (in my apartment).

Perhaps I'm not a J after all?
 
Perhaps your J organises your iNtuitive interior world, but not your Sensing exterior world?

My thoughts are ususally super organised and structured (usually, not always), but my room is a mess. That said, I know exactly where everything is and there is a reason behind where everything is.
 
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My friends always do this annoying reminding as if they want me to buy them a present or throw them a party. I tell them to remind someone else. The most I'm going to do is say 'Happy Birthday' which is meaningless in itself.

Put in action the 'no gift obligation' rule with your friend(s). Then they won't worry about your birthday and you won't worry about theirs. It will be another pretty insignificant day.
 
Its not about gifts! Its that I SHOULD remember to at least wish people a happy birthday. They're my friends and family!
 
Yeah. I also seem to always forget everyone's birthdays. And I really hate it when someone throws me a party. beats me why as well. I also dont particulartly like it if someone gives me a gift. lol
Havent seen anyone apart from myself who hates birthday parties and presents :D
 
CoffeeShopDiva said:
Its not about gifts! Its that I SHOULD remember to at least wish people a happy birthday. They're my friends and family!
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:suspicious:
Who says you should?
 
I forget birthdays a lot, and it always makes me sad because I don't mean to hurt people's feelings by forgetting, it just happens. I'm getting better at it these days though.

INFJs have the weakest J, ya know. I always feel sort of P-ish... until I am in the presence of an actual P and then I realize I am very J.
 
CoffeeShopDiva said:
I always forget people's birthdays! Its such a horrible trait! Unless someone reminds me that its coming up, I usually have no idea!

Does anyone else do this? You would think that my Jness would not allow me to forget people's birthdays... because its kinda hurtful to others.

Ideas?
Click to expand...

I do this all the time! I always get reminded the day before someone's birthday but if it wasn't for that I would completely forget.

On the matter of Jness: INFJs are the weakest of the Judging types. That could be why you're forgetting birthdays despite being a J. Damit! Wyote Ninja'd me on that point.

Do you have Facebook of Bebo? I think you can get them to email you birthday reminders a couple of days before a member's birthday.
 
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Birthdays? What the hell are those again?
 
I feel better now :p
 
I'm not great at remembering birthdays. I set up outlook to remind me when they are coming along. My ESFJ OH remembers all birthdays - even people she doesn't know, so I can ask her, but I'd rather not rely on her for that.

I struggle with buying cards/presents too. Even if I have plenty of time, I can never find the right one. So I give up and plan to try again at another shop - and again I can't find the right one. It usually ends up with me getting something I don't like so much at the last minute, just to have something to give. Then I regret afterwards that I had all that time and still couldn't do the person justice in my choice of gift/card.
 
Yikes, I remember most people's birthdays, even some for people that I haven't seen for like 6 years.
 
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Damn, I guess I'm the freak here because I always go ALL OUT for people's birthdays. I don't forget anyone's birthday. I'm just wanna show them I'm happy they were born and crap. I lurve birthdays and I try to spoil my loved ones when its their day.

My baby bro's was last week and I hooked him up with a crazy Soul food dinner. Red beans and rice, fried chicken, mac and cheese, candied yams, greens, waffles and a berry cobbler. Hell I even make crap for people I barely know.

Its gotten to the point that people email me their dinner requests like two weeks in advance. I'm getting kind of sick of it though because everyone forgets my birthday or tells me that I'm hard to shop for and give me cash. Granted I'd die if anyone ever made a fuss because I don't like people making a fuss over me, but I'd appreciate a little more effort. I always chalk it up to being born a week before Xmas and people are busy and distracted.
 
Yeah, my uncle Nicholas doesn't get a birthday either...
Guess what day his birthday fell on...
 
Yep, I'm terrible at birthdays and to be honest I also hate any kind of celebration.
 
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