I think I've wobbled to the S side of things. | INFJ Forum

I think I've wobbled to the S side of things.

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by jlynnr, Mar 31, 2010.

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  1. jlynnr

    jlynnr Community Member

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    Oh dear. How to explain this.

    I don't want to go into all the details right now - but to make a long story short, in the midst of a huge three-month-long situation in which much important communication was unspoken and symbolic, my intuition started to run away with me and I started to make connections to things that didn't make sense at ALL. Only I didn't realize that it didn't make sense, because it was so important that I be Right about everything I thought...
    So then by the time I realized things didn't make sense, I had built up all kinds of false assumptions about the situations in my life, about the people I was close to...it was rather deeply dramatic and traumatic, I assure you. I had a lot of unbuilding and rebuilding to do of belief structures.

    Anyways.

    I've started to concentrate on the fact that the future doesn't exist yet, and so I need to be completely present in the moment I'm in. Which sounds to me like Se. But it also seems to be working...and the best example I can give for this is a really super dumb one (heh)...I really like this guy. And one of the connections I had made over the course of the above epic situation was that he likes me, or has liked me, since last semester, and had tried not to. But I've realized that I can't keep that in mind and be fully myself around him, because then I worry about what he'll think and about what I'll say or about how stupid I'll sound and so on and so forth. So I suppose what I'm trying to describe is a simultaneous remembering and forgetting of everything I know...and then stopping, and just Being fully me in whatever moment I happen to be IN.

    And the other thing that makes me think I may have wobbled to S is the fact that I have always REALLY loved darkroom photography - not the end result, the process of being in the darkroom. And I love printmaking - not the end result, but the printing process.
    There's also that whole thing about ISFP's being the artists or whatever. My fundamental identity right now is, Artist.

    But I still have a very strong imagination and conceptual side - like I keep coming up with ideas for installation pieces (the most recent involves test tubes suspended from the ceiling with small flowers growing out the top and little lights in the bottom - thinking about the phrase "significant soil") and I really love philosophy, and literature, and so on.

    So I suppose I interact with everyday life like an ISFP, and then the realm of art and ideas like an INFP?

    Orrrrrrrrr....
    yes.
    I am not sure.
    the last few weeks have been a little bit wobbly, I'm not gonna lie. Deconstruction and reconstruction are hard tasks.
     
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  2. Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    Haven't got time to give this the answer and analysis it deserves! But, I agree that when times get tough, sometimes you realise that you overwhelm yourself with all the possible options, decisions etc. And also sometimes intuition is confusing, because you wonder whether you are listening to the right voice... one of them is working for your own good, and the other is putting barriers up. In these cases, it is actually possible to decide to take things one day at a time. When I used to get depressed as a teenager, this is how my ISTJ mum used to get me out of the hole. I had completely buried myself in overanalysis normally, and she used to say you're herenow, you're fine now, stop burying yourself in overanalysis. I think this is quite a valid method of overcoming problems and adversities. However, it doesn't mean you are actually switching to being an ISFP, especiallyas you have all these abstract INFP thoughts. It is merely a survival mechanism. Interesting!
     
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    jlynnr

    jlynnr Community Member

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    And I suppose it would be helpful to describe even an example of the way my brain was working ---

    Among some of the art majors at my school, we associate each other with particular colors (somewhat like auras - the idea is similar, but there's no meaning associated with each color - theoretically, we are all made in the image of God, so if God is white light, it would make sense for each person to have a color, because all of the colors come out of white - anyways, intuition, Ti, yay) and animals. I am associated with a muted bluey purple and a bright purpley blue - or, mixed, a color similar to periwinkle - and elephants.
    So said guy was painting purple elephants one day, which made me jump in the first place, because they were the me-purple, and I painted elephants last semester and they looked like exactly the same elephants - described them to me as elephant hunters that he had been working on since last semester, which confused me...and then I noticed that his tea mug (we all keep mugs in our printmaking lockers, saves time in the mornings) had a heart on it that was the me-ish blue...put together that he had liked me since last semester but had tried not to.

    not sure if that one makes sense.
    it would be good to have some outside input on that one, because if that wasn't a legit conclusion I'd suuure like to know, because it means that I have some deeply fundamentally messed-up brain processes and vanity issues that I'd really like to straighten out.
    and this kind of thing is why I've decided to kick my intuition out the window for a while, at least...
     
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