Hi
I am new here. I figured it might be a good idea to share my thoughts and feelings with other infjs. I struggle with loneliness. I have experienced a lot of rejection in my life, from the time I was a child, even from my family who don't seem to get me and had other major concerns as I was an infant (my sick brother, money issues and more).
Now at my adult life I have practically thrown almost everyone out of my life, except my dear husband and kids. And my parents and brother.
I figured that the reason I have thrown so many people out of my life is because of the pain of rejection or carelessness I feel from most people. For example, when I was at the time in my life of giving birth to my kids, I was so alone. My friends seem to have very little interest to even call or visit. And my family, who lived 45 minutes away rarely visited us. I don't understand and feel I have been betrayed by both close friends and family at a time when I was so needy.
Now I wall everybody out and think that since I did everything by myself then, I don't need these people in my life now. I don't like people in my life that let me alone when I needed them the most.
That said, to be fair, my mother offered help but was unable to help because she was too busy with my oldest brother who was abusing drugs and one of my friends showed some love but she has her own ,,group" of friends and didn't invite me to birthday parties. Possibly someone cared more but didn't know how to get closer and connect. Well, at least this is how I feel. I basically feel like I was left alone in the one moment of my life where I really need the people in my life and since they didn't show up I don't need them anymore ever. At the same time I feel very lonely.
What I feel I need is to discuss this experience of feeling betrayed in the most vulnerable time and how to recover and start letting people in.
Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share your insights or comments