HSP and INFJ

periodictoblerone said:
What's your experience of being HSP and INFJ at the same time?

Long time ago I read that INFJ tend to be less sensitive and emotional than everybody (stereotypically) thinks of them, but there are lots of things beside MBTI. And one of them is being Highly Sensitive Person, and that can be a reason of experiencing too much feelings, too much emotions and sensations. What do you think of that?
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I think being both INFJ and HSP is a special kind of hell, at least if you don't know how to pull away and ground yourself, much like myself. As an INFJ I feel for other people, i don't like when my friends are hurting and I especially don't like it when it's avoidable. Like my current situation a friend is going back to an abusive ex. I understand he is lying to himself in thinking it's fine and it's not damaging but I also see him hurting right now and how he will be hurting in a few days when she ghosts him. I feel the sadness and the heartbreak but I also feel angry at him being so stupid and not cutting her out of his life entirely and then angry at myself for dealing with it and being there when he breaks. On top of that being a HSP it just seems like everything is amplified. Like perhaps if I was only INFJ I would have these feelings and I would be able to step back and see it all and move forward but because I'm also HSP I will dwell on it over and over and think of all the different angles that could change things, if that makes sense. I will obsess over it because I feel it so strongly that I'll try that much harder to resolve the issue so I can go back to not being distraught. One of those possibilities is just cutting this friend out of my life altogether, because that would solve it all and he could continue going back to her and it wouldn't bother me. But as it is right now I care too much about him to do that. Because I feel his pain :helpplease::tableflip:
 
Slytiger109 said:
I think being both INFJ and HSP is a special kind of hell, at least if you don't know how to pull away and ground yourself, much like myself. As an INFJ I feel for other people, i don't like when my friends are hurting and I especially don't like it when it's avoidable. Like my current situation a friend is going back to an abusive ex. I understand he is lying to himself in thinking it's fine and it's not damaging but I also see him hurting right now and how he will be hurting in a few days when she ghosts him. I feel the sadness and the heartbreak but I also feel angry at him being so stupid and not cutting her out of his life entirely and then angry at myself for dealing with it and being there when he breaks. On top of that being a HSP it just seems like everything is amplified. Like perhaps if I was only INFJ I would have these feelings and I would be able to step back and see it all and move forward but because I'm also HSP I will dwell on it over and over and think of all the different angles that could change things, if that makes sense. I will obsess over it because I feel it so strongly that I'll try that much harder to resolve the issue so I can go back to not being distraught. One of those possibilities is just cutting this friend out of my life altogether, because that would solve it all and he could continue going back to her and it wouldn't bother me. But as it is right now I care too much about him to do that. Because I feel his pain :helpplease::tableflip:
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Sometimes people simply don't want to be rescued... and that's where paradox is, because sometimes it's way, way easier to look on the situation when you're not feeling love. Chemically love is really, really difficult and, most importantly, strong thing, and some hormones just don't let us see bad sides of our significant others. And maybe your friend would have understood all these things his girlfriend was doing to him, but, unfortunately, he may be too in love...
Just understand that you're doing what you can do right now. You're trying to help him, and if (if) you feel that you're not doing enough, that's wrong. Thank you very much for trying to show him that idea of returning to his ex was bad.
Please, take care of yourself, too. Being HSP is hard, and you should give yourself a good rest *hugs* :hug:
 
periodictoblerone said:
Sometimes people simply don't want to be rescued... and that's where paradox is, because sometimes it's way, way easier to look on the situation when you're not feeling love. Chemically love is really, really difficult and, most importantly, strong thing, and some hormones just don't let us see bad sides of our significant others. And maybe your friend would have understood all these things his girlfriend was doing to him, but, unfortunately, he may be too in love...
Just understand that you're doing what you can do right now. You're trying to help him, and if (if) you feel that you're not doing enough, that's wrong. Thank you very much for trying to show him that idea of returning to his ex was bad.
Please, take care of yourself, too. Being HSP is hard, and you should give yourself a good rest *hugs* :hug:
Click to expand...

Yeah I'm not sure if he would see how bad she is for him even if he didn't love her. He's kind of dense that way, which is endearing to me but unfortunate for him. But for once I am actually getting out of the house and taking my doggo to a park with a friend =] So yes, good rest is on the wayy
 
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