How to create connection and community | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

How to create connection and community

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by slant, Jan 25, 2021.

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  1. philostam

    philostam Permanent Fixture

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    Yeah, that's more in real life. Although most of the times I appear 'cold' simply because I'm out of my comfort zone, say in a bigger group of chatty people/sensors.

    Agree. That's like coming to a funeral wearing yellow Hawaii shirt lol. Either conform to the rules or stay the fuck home and be edgy on your own.
     
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  2. Hostarius

    Hostarius Dad Bodinem

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    Maybe we should wear yellow stars instead.
     
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  3. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / Baroque Spinoza / ≅ INFP

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    This is all true. I don’t think it is a wise strategy to defer to ‘group judgement’ on faith.

    But what is ‘the group’? Who belongs to it? I think you could make a case for negative group dynamics if there is consistent agreement about most things between members and pressure against taking an opposite line in particular instances.

    I think it would be difficult for a large community, such as the forum, to slide down into this kind of dynamic. There are too many free spirits, people who think for themselves and who happen to be also respected by fellow members, including mods. I don’t think they would hesitate to take a stance against even the mods if they saw things going in that direction.

    It’s definitely true, though, that there have been instances of negative group dynamics in smaller group units—I guess what we refer to as “cliques”. I don’t like cliques, and also the fact that a lot of their activity happens in PMs (i.e. it’s not accountable). But fortunately there seems to be enough diversity on the forum to pre-empt the possibility of one clique dominating the others. I tend to be oblivious of those dynamics though—perhaps as a defense mechanism—so I could be wrong.
     
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  4. OP
    slant

    slant M O U L T I N G
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    I feel like when we look at historical situations of groups being challenged because of bias it prejudice it's typically functional vs recreational.

    What I mean by that is typically we don't see civil rights movements being fought through a local recreational bowling league. Maybe professional level competition, but from my observation, the only time it's actually worth challenging those dynamics and forcing equality into a community is if it is a necessary community:

    A school, public/government institutions, for example. This makes sense to "infiltrate" so to speak and force a change of culture since by not practicing equality it is having a real impact on all lives without people willingly participating. I have to go to school as a child and so if I'm being discriminated against there yes that needs to be challenged.

    However.


    Groups in which are recreational and voluntary, I do not see the same value in trying to change them for equality. If you join a book club on a conservative town that meets in a lady's living room and you keep trying to introduce Noam Chomsky reading material, you're just being a dick and ruining someone's group. They don't owe you anything and they have the right to have their group.
     
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  5. philostam

    philostam Permanent Fixture

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    Yup, that's well said and a helpful distinction, I think.
     
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  6. Hostarius

    Hostarius Dad Bodinem

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    Yes that seems to happen here - the diversity of members tends to provide a fairly functional set of checks and balances, combined with a generally pervasive willingness to compromise or act in conciliatory ways.
     
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