How does it feel to access your heterosexual side? | INFJ Forum

How does it feel to access your heterosexual side?

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knight in battle

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Feb 28, 2011
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This isn't meant to be a debate topic──more of a subjective experience thread.

I realize there is controversy between people on the subject of sexuality, but within an individual, there may not be any "controversy" at all, since an individual may have already formed a stable opinion on the subject. If you see yourself as bisexual, currently bisexual, or occasionally heterosexual, this may be a particularly relevant question.

How do you feel when you are in your "heterosexual mode" (if such a thing exists for you)? (Please set political-correctness aside, but no need to be rude to others, of course.)

How does it affect your self-image? (It may not be better or worse, though I'm assuming it is different.)

How does it affect the way you relate to people of the same sex or opposite sex?


(I suppose the flip side is, if you see yourself as primarily heterosexual, what does it feel like when you access your "homosexual mode"?)
 
Having sex is awesome...?

I don't know, wtf is a heterosexual "mode"?
 
88chaz88 said:
Having sex is awesome...?

I don't know, wtf is a heterosexual "mode"?
Click to expand...

It is when you feel like you're engaging people naturally in your sociologically heterosexual self. You're "one of the guys", to put it plainly, and not very consciously "different".
 
knight in battle said:
It is when you feel like you're engaging people naturally in your sociologically heterosexual self. You're "one of the guys", to put it plainly, and not very consciously "different".
Click to expand...

I don't get it :/
 
I dont think sexuality is divided like that within the individual. Its like asking the water what its hydrogen side is like.
 
I think that our noble knight want to know this: if you are bisexual or at least see yourself that way, is there any difference i your selfimage when you are attracted to same (homosexual mode) and oposite (heterosexual mode) sex.
[MENTION=3791]knight in battle[/MENTION]

Did I guess well?
 
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It's a feeling you get, which you don't have for the same sex. For me, it is a sense of difference you feel around and for the other sex. I associate it with the femininity and masculinity in people although some may say that's not as relevant. I'm always conscious of it. It's like an energy that you can't describe. It's a singular interest in one sex over the other.
 
..................what campaigns are you waging this time, o good and kind ser?
 
If someone is heterosexual how do they activate a "homosexual mode"? I dont get what youre asking...
 
UBERROGO said:
I dont think sexuality is divided like that within the individual. Its like asking the water what its hydrogen side is like.
Click to expand...

Except hydrogen isnt subjective, you can describe H2O with math and science same thing with hydrogen alone or oxygen alone.
 
Billy said:
Except hydrogen isnt subjective, you can describe H2O with math and science same thing with hydrogen alone or oxygen alone.
Click to expand...

Okay
 
So, with Jung, the inventor of Meiers-Briggs types, he has created the terms: the anima and the animus- male and female figures which function in the unconscious of an individual. Both are supposed to represent an intermingling of our higher selves/lower selves, shadow form, and idealized form- what we think the "perfect" man and woman should be.

So, relating this to your question- sometimes I have women in my dreams, sometimes men. Those figures represent the anima and the animus, and I have varying/different relationships with them. The woman who used to show up in my dreams- sometimes looks like me, sometimes looks much different than me with long black hair, sometimes I get along with her, sometimes I don't.

How I relate to this woman in my dreams- is in some ways how I relate to or understand myself. And how I relate to men in my dream, is how I relate to my inner self. I hope this makes sense Knight in Battle- there is a book I might recommend called Inner Lover, that talks pretty in depth about this.

Going back to relations with the same sex versus the opposite sex- in my life time- I have met both men and women who were hetero, but who sometimes needed to have relations with the same sex- as some sort of way to understand themselves more or come to realizations about themselves. I think it is a very natural and healthy thing.

What to be careful about, and to watch out for is when we are projecting our anima/animus onto other people- and glorifying them, or being attracted to them because of traits we admire or think that they have that they might not have. Often if I feel attracted to a person, I wonder "Why am I attracted to them?" In the book Inner Lover, the author goes in depth about how often people are attracted to someone merely because they desire a trait that that person wishes they possessed. The secret is realizing what that trait is, instead of attempting to get something of that person's through sexual relations. I hope this makes sense.

In regards to your post, sometimes if I am attracted to females specifically, I try to take a trait of theirs and make it my own- emulating their beauty or coyness or intelligence. I have realized relations with someone based on me idealizing the other person never work, and that my true partner is someone with whom I am an equal- not someone "beyond my reach"- because the truth is, those people are all smoke and mirrors.

So- sometimes I download pictures of beautiful women and keep them on my computer- in order to try to assimilate their seductive nature. I find I am occasionally attracted to women, but when it comes to actually having sex, I could never do it. To be honest, I just prefer hetero relations.
 
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jupiterswoon said:
In regards to your post, sometimes if I am attracted to females specifically, I try to take a trait of theirs and make it my own- emulating their beauty or coyness or intelligence. I have realized relations with someone based on me idealizing the other person never work, and that my true partner is someone with whom I am an equal- not someone "beyond my reach"- because the truth is, those people are all smoke and mirrors.

So- sometimes I download pictures of beautiful women and keep them on my computer- in order to try to assimilate their seductive nature. I find I am occasionally attracted to women, but when it comes to actually having sex, I could never do it. To be honest, I just prefer hetero relations.
Click to expand...

Idealized traits tend to be linked with many of my attractions. Some idealized traits translate into envy only but not into attraction, as such.
 
i identify as a bisexual, actually have plans to go to a gay pride parade today. but anyway, i am in a stable, long-term heterosexual relationship so that's kind of my default mode. it doesn't stop me from ogling girls on the train, fantasizing about my lesbian friends. i don't really get romantic feelings for women, but i also just don't have the room to do so as i am completely emotionally invested in my boyfriend.

i don't feel it really affects how i interact with people. i pretty much treat everyone as the same, and if i'm talking to a girl i'm attracted to it's no different than talking to a guy i'm attracted to because it doesn't really matter. since i'm not interested in pursuing anything, it's like any other social interaction.

i do have an open relationship with my boyfriend because he's open-minded enough to allow me to explore my bisexual identity, but since i haven't had the time to find any side-pussy i don't really know what i'm like in "homosexual mode". i can be flirtatious with girls who obviously have homosexual tendencies but it rarely goes beyond that. i dunno, i guess my situation is different because of the serious nature of my relationship. my sexuality is purely that, sexual, no real emotional attachment.

my self-image isn't really affected by my sexuality. it's like a separate entity entirely. if anything, i feel safer in a situation where i'm around a lot of guys i don't necessarily want to be around, say at a club/bar/etc. i could tell them with confidence that i'm gay and with any luck they'd back off. i've had a lot of friends who have had to do that, or who would rescue girls in that situation by pretending to be their girlfriend. sometimes complete strangers. it's funny how guys are so threatened by dykes.

i dunno, i'm glad i have the capability to experience both sides of the spectrum. it doesn't bother me at all.
 
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