How do you know you're good at something? | INFJ Forum

How do you know you're good at something?

Gaze

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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I was watching an episode of the sitcom Growing Pains, and this was the question asked by the main character for much of the episode. It made me question the idea of "knowing" when you're good at something? Do you know because you feel it? Do you only know it because other people recognize it or it stands out? How did you first know you were good at something? How did this awareness come about? How did it affect you to know you were good at it?
 
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I don't think im particularly gifted at anything...so im interested.
 
I started to know when I exceeded the people that taught me quickly. When people started coming to me for answers.
 
i'll let you know when i figure that one out. :m083:
 
I'm my own worst critic. I never think what I do is good enough, or even "good" for that matter. I tend to collect data from people to see if other people like what I'm doing. If people tell me that I'm good with some kind of enthusiasm, or they seem honest, I will sometimes take their word for it.
 
I usually know I am good at something by ego gratification. Kinda selfish really, there is just an encompassing feeling of accomplishment, confidence and ease that comes with being good at something. The less resistance; more enjoyable the experience. very different from wanting to accomplish something and struggling to make it happen; in which case a clear example that i need to learn or develop something in order to make it work. Are we discussing effortless accomplishment and activities or things we struggle to make happen by learning?
 
Society expects you to identify the things that you are most skilled at. I cannot magically understand that. I rely on knowledge about my past performance with things, in terms of how I've been compared with others or to some kind of external standard. I do, however, understand what *types* of behaviour or skills I am naturally suited to picking up quickly. That specific type of self-knowledge is only something that I've realized recently through examining myself over the period of my entire life.
 
When I am enjoying myself doing it or am able to accomplish what I want with the skill.
 
Reminds me of the Dunning-Kruger effect. I think the best way to discover if you're competent at something is to be around people who know there stuff. Compare your abilities to theirs and see what makes them so able and talented. Then (and this is the hard part as ego comes into it) honestly compare your skill to theirs.

Of course you have to be sure these are actual experts and not idiots who vastly overestimate their ability.
 
I only really know when someone compliments me in a certain way and it tends to catch me off guard.
 
solongotgon said:
I usually know I am good at something by ego gratification. Kinda selfish really, there is just an encompassing feeling of accomplishment, confidence and ease that comes with being good at something. The less resistance; more enjoyable the experience. very different from wanting to accomplish something and struggling to make it happen; in which case a clear example that i need to learn or develop something in order to make it work. Are we discussing effortless accomplishment and activities or things we struggle to make happen by learning?
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Maybe effortless accomplishment but there were no limits on how I defined it. I was thinking in general terms, when someone finds that whether it comes naturally or after a period of working at it, they realize they got it or know it or can do it pretty well. I do agree though that when someone is good at something, it's usually easier to complete. There is not as much struggle. However, sometimes this feeling of struggle can be deceptive. You can think you're doing poorly at something because you're struggling a little but may not realize you're actually doing a pretty good job.

niffer said:
Society expects you to identify the things that you are most skilled at. I cannot magically understand that. I rely on knowledge about my past performance with things, in terms of how I've been compared with others or to some kind of external standard. I do, however, understand what *types* of behaviour or skills I am naturally suited to picking up quickly. That specific type of self-knowledge is only something that I've realized recently through examining myself over the period of my entire life.
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Yeah, it is usually some external standard which is used to decide if someone is good at something. In college, when I would get positive feedback on something and it was consistent, I felt good about it but tbh, I didn't really understand what was so good about it. It was always so general and non-specific. Over the last 5 years, I've come to understand my strengths and so sometimes I can identify when something is good based on feeling or instinct. While in other cases, I'm lost and would need additional feedback to know if its worth it. And even if someone were to tell me I'm good at something, I tend to not believe them. I just assume they're being nice and supportive. It's often the case though that the things I want to believe I am good at, are not the things I do well. Yet, the things I don't think about maybe those things which are done instinctively are the things someone may notice and would say is good. So, depends on who you ask I guess.
 
That's quite simple.

I compare to others. If so I'm better at something than they are. I could also say I'm "good" at that thing, but I think better is a better word.
It's also good (or better) to specify who you're better than, just for the sake of being specific.

I'm better at sprinting than most people I know.
In my frame of reference I'm good at sprinting.

My win percentage in World of Tanks is 56%, where 50% is average (standard dev is about 3%). I am thus better at World of Tanks than most people.
I'm thus good at World of Tanks.

I don't really understand what's so hard about this question. Just define good.

drummergirlbk said:
I tend to only consider myself to be good at something when I'm skilled enough to teach someone else how to do it.
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My sportstrainer was a very good teacher. He didn't possess any of the skills himself though. I think you're right when it comes to something theoretical.
 
I feel like I'm good at something when I can impress people.
 
You know when you see that others aren't

Funny thing is, I generally don't compare to others, so I tend to not value my own skill as much as I should.
 
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