How do you deal with negative people? | INFJ Forum

How do you deal with negative people?

donkeybals

A Permanent Fixture
Jan 10, 2011
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We all know them.

*Perfect sunny day 80 degrees*

"It's too hot"

*Fun vacation*

"I hope we don't lose our luggage*

*Christmas day*

"I didn't get anything good and spent forever searching for gifts"

Why do people act this way? I understand complaining, but some people it's like they complain about everything. I'm serious. I hate to see people acting like this, everyone deserves to have a little bit of fun. Do some people just like complaining or can you convince them to lighten up. I always try to cheer up the person but they always seem to run themselves into the ground. How can you convince a negative person to lighten up? I've done this, for a second, for a day, but it never lasts with some. And some of these people I really care about because they are my family. Or because I see them and talk to them daily or weekly. How can you convince someone that life isn't as bad as they think it is and they are looking it as half empty? Glass is half full imo, we are all lucky to be born and living life. Arghhhhhhhhh.

Maybe I should just agree with them. Yeah your life is over. This is a huge deal. You suck at life.. I use this sarcasm occasionally..

/rant
 
You can't convince them. They are in some sort of negative thought cycle. Just ignore it. Be polite but don't engage or encourage the negativity. Eventually, they get the message.
 
Be annoyingly positive. Or, when they say 'I don't like this' say, 'Yeah but you don't really like anything.' One time I was being negative and didn't realize it. My friend said that to me and it made me realize how awful I sounded and it wasn't in a rude way. It was more as a joke, but I never forgot it. Cut the negative people out of your life as much as you can, they're toxic.
 
Well that's probably because you are understanding/caring. There's some people who won't let you into their world for nothing. Well they do, but it takes awhile to get there and the window is only open for a little bit of time..
 
You can't convince them. They are in some sort of negative thought cycle. Just ignore it. Be polite but don't engage or encourage the negativity. Eventually, they get the message.

Yeah..That most of the time. People do just become pesimist and see the negative side in everything and just want to point out the negatives and forget the positives. What I have done though is when they point out a negative I instantly find a postive that is 'bigger' than their negative and say it. :p
 
I loled at your glass half full/empty expression. It reminded me of what I used to say when the question was directed at me. Because this rhetorical question is used as a litmus test to determine point of view, I would say it depended on whether I had my chance to drink out of the glass or not. If someone else had been drinking from my glass and I hadn't yet, it was already half empty. If I was the one to drink from the glass, it was still half full.

Combating the negativity of others is difficult. I think being tactful, but straightforward is paramount. Offering different perceptions or proactive solutions may be helpful, depending on the circumstances. Redirecting the conversation might be necessary. Sometimes keeping people at a courteous, yet impersonal distance is the only option.

But realistically, we can only control our own behavior and lead by example. So don't drink out of my glass and I won't drink out of yours.
 

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Yeah..That most of the time. People do just become pesimist and see the negative side in everything and just want to point out the negatives and forget the positives. What I have done though is when they point out a negative I instantly find a postive that is 'bigger' than their negative and say it. :p

:)

Then it becomes positive negative fight.

Ding ding.

Round #1

*Positive punches negative in the face*

*Negative tackles positive*

*Positive counters, mounts negative*

*Bell rings*

-End of round #1 back to your corners, take a breather.

*Positive and Negative take breathers*
 
:)

Then it becomes positive negative fight.

Ding ding.

Round #1

*Positive punches negative in the face*

*Negative tackles positive*

*Positive counters, mounts negative*

*Bell rings*

-End of round #1 back to your corners, take a breather.

*Positive and Negative take breathers*

Positivity will always rule over negativity! OOO RAHH!!!!
 
I loled at your glass half full/empty expression. It reminded me of what I used to say when the question was directed at me. Because this rhetorical question is used as a litmus test to determine point of view, I would say it depended on whether I had my chance to drink out of the glass or not. If someone else had been drinking from my glass and I hadn't yet, it was already half empty. If I was the one to drink from the glass, it was still half full.

Combating the negativity of others is difficult. I think being tactful, but straightforward is paramount. Offering different perceptions or proactive solutions may be helpful, depending on the circumstances. Redirecting the conversation might be necessary. Sometimes keeping people at a courteous, yet impersonal distance is the only option.

But realistically, we can only control our own behavior and lead by example. So don't drink out of my glass and I won't drink out of yours.

Good advice, thanks dream.

*Takes a sip out of dream's glass when she's not looking*
 
Positivity will always rule over negativity! OOO RAHH!!!!
Hahaha.

I'm taking bets! Positive winning. 2:1 on positive.

Positive fights with heart, negative fights with erm? Negative fights dirty..
 
Hahaha.

I'm taking bets! Positive winning. 2:1 on positive.

Positive fights with heart, negative fights with erm? Negative fights dirty..

Negativity fights itself. xD
 
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Ahhh welcome to my mom's world. I constantly try to get her to see the sunny side of the egg, but she prefers to just look at the overdone/burnt side of it ALL the time. And like Dream said, we can't control how people think/feel, but we can do your best to show them/help them see that the world isn't out to get them.

One thing I can't stand though, is when people are so consistently negative and do NOTHING to help themselves. In this case, I try to get people to channel that negativity into something productive. Bob thinks the luggage is gonna get lost, so instead of complaining about it, why not take the steps to ensure that it doesn't get lost?
 
Crap. There's too much positive energy in this thread. Quick someone make fun of me!!