How did you end up in... | INFJ Forum

How did you end up in...

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by SweetDreams, May 9, 2010.

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  1. SweetDreams

    SweetDreams Regular Poster

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    ...your first relationship?

    By relationship I mean first serious relationship, but I assumed that for most of you both things would have occurred together. (I could be wrong though!).

    How did it happen? Were you friends first? Did you initiate contact, or show any interest? (Note: you don't have to answer the questions, they're just guidelines, so you're more than welcome to write whatever you feel like writing).

    I'm just curious about how a relationship develops the infj way (having never been in a relationship).
     
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  2. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    I was pursued.

    The first longer-term relationship was alcohol tinged and I just tumbled quickly into it. There was no real emotional engagement (I suspect on either side actually), just playing out of social expectations. I was a freshman in college of 17 yrs old and felt insecure that I had never had a serious relationship and was still a virgin.

    The first serious relationship was my first marriage of 15 years. Crossed paths at a restaurant because my new roommates used to be his across-the-hall neighbors. He saw something in me that appealed and began stopping by or calling the apartment to talk every day until a month later he officially asked me out. For weeks I didn't realize I was being pursued. He'd talk to whoever answered the phone or was in the apartment at the time, but finally a roommate pointed out that he wouldn't hang up or leave until he'd spoken with me. Up until that point I'd never had the opportunity to engage with someone as witty, intelligent, gentle, or kind as he was. I valued who he presented as and I valued that he seemed to value my deepest expression of self. I was 19 when we met and after we began dating, we were never apart.

    In retrospect, I entered into a first serious relationship later than is probably typical and then became seriously committed perhaps a bit earlier than is typical.
     
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  3. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Not a clue when or which it was...
    However, in the same manner I get everything done; by design, wit and perseverance.
     
    #3 Shai Gar, May 9, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 9, 2010
  4. under skies

    under skies Community Member

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    A mutual friend told the guy I liked him, and he approached me first. I really wasn't going to do anything about it, and I don't think he would have ever known without the intervention.
     
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  5. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Our workstations were across from each other in the laboratory (Undergraduate).
     
  6. middle1

    middle1 Hellur

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    We worked together, then became really good friends, and then we both realized we had feelings for each other. He made the first move. When things got really serious, I backed out, I wasn't ready. I think he was an IN??.
     
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  7. Skoffin

    Skoffin <font color=#00EE99>She Whose Name We Do Not Speak

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    We met online, came across each other over a nation simulation game and then talked a bit over msn. We started meeting in person over a couple of months, however I was not aware that we were dating while apparently that is what he meant all along. Seems sometimes I can be clueless on such things, I need obvious markers to indicate when someone is interested. during those few months he never once made a movie or said anything to imply dating, as far as I knew it was just two friends meeting up. He eventually did make a move though and we ended up in a relationship for nearly two years. Far, far too long.
     
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  8. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

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    high school dating scene.
     
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  9. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I have never had a serious relationship. Well, I guess the second one was serious for her, but she was really overreacting. Whatever.

    Ideally, I would like to be friends first, but that seems like a bad strategy for several reasons. I don't know what else to do though.
     
  10. Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

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    I was in Japan on an exchange program. She was in a group of people I played soccer with. After a few weeks, one of her friends figured out I liked her and said that this girl liked me too.

    All I had to do was tell her how I felt and BAM. It happened pretty effortlessly.
     
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