How did you decide what you wanted to do? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

How did you decide what you wanted to do?

I needed something that would build character, something that would challenge me and bring me to new fields. Something that required commitment, but not to absolution. I also needed something to make money, so that I could save it and use it on higher purposes. My "real job," on this planet. As well as travel and to avoid living in too much financial poverty. Something I could raise a family on, too. Something I didn't necessarily have a passion for, but that I could learn to like that engages me and makes me an asset to some asshole who will hire me.

That's why I'm an electrician working in construction and maintenance on commercial and industrial projects. Right now I'm unemployed and living off my savings, while doing small, occasional jobs for friends for less money. So now I let the real work begin.
 
The thing about where we are at in the world today is job security isn't as big a thing. It's not like 30 years ago where you got a career and you had a job for life. It's all about life long learning now. You have a job or a career for a period and then often times people transition to something else entirely.

I'm 26 and haven't really got started yet. I'm prepping to go back to university to do what I've always wanted to do -- Library and Information Science. I know this is perfect for me because I began volunteering and working in libraries from the age of 12. My mother also thinks this is perfect for me, so for years I rebelled and did social work/social care type stuff before coming back to the fact that what I wanted to do at 15 is perfect for me.

I've got 5 years of study ahead of me and wont be starting my career fully till im 30 or so.

There's no point worrying abotu these things though. I spent years worrying and it didn't get me anywhere.

All you can do is your best in the present moment. Live for right now and take the steps you need to take. Everything else will follow. You're young -- you've got so much time.
 
[MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION]

In light of... ...how did you decide on the educational and career path that you wanted to pursue?
- Family Expectations
They had/have none of me to my knowledge

- Finances
Minimal

- P.I.'s, etc.
Back in the day I wasn't really a kid thinking the way most do their age, I was and ofc. still am an introvert, I did not like feeling restricted and held back and I did not like nose or bad air.
I also was lazy as fuck as a kid and never rly had friends, I'm only just now starting to make my first few shallow ones. :X

So when I had top pick schools as a kid, I decided to go for a lower level one to have less homework as it would be easier and more time for myself, I liked animals and nature so I went for one with a few agricultural classes, I figured like, fuck it, I'll go be a farmer or something, feed the animals chill out in the field with a book all day as they graze, grow some plants, and make a living like that. 2 years in I figured I might as well learn something I could do during the winter, I kinda understand plants now and I realized that I would not feel much for cleaning up shit in their barn, caring for them, and watching them die to be someones food. Honestly the last one was the biggest part of it, My rabbit died of old age and I realized I just did not want to suffer through death of my animals on a regular basis.

So yea, I spend most of my days at home behind the computer, cause honestly, the kids in my neighborhood were far and few. And that got me to look for a school that had some computer stuff going on.
I liked to make images on the computer by grabbing photographs from the internet and saving them often enough in microsoft paint in bad formats so they became black and white stamps, and I'd like to compose them and make cool patches with them.
The GF and now Wife of my brother suggested I should consider something graphical. Luck had it, there was a school with graphical design courses in my city and I went there.

Things snowballed from there, I used to play lots of video games and even though at graduation my teacher dubbed me the webmaster of the class for my aptitude in html at the time, a simple conversation with a classmate got me to find out that making objects for video games was called 3D art. I went to my teacher and he gave me a recommendation to a graphical design school where I got a degree in multimedia and audio/visual design with a specialization in Animation. Basically I learned how to use pretty much all adobe packages and Autodesk 3D's Max at a nice beginner level. And It was enough to get a job in if I wanted it, but it wasn't the same as having a bachelor.

I took a year off from schooling after that. A year to decide what I really wanted in life, what job would really work for me, etc. etc.
Most of my days were spend doing fitness several hours a day, and for fun I signed up for the air-force, because I really thought it would make me feel needed in the world if I got to fly search and rescue operations and med evacuations.
Unfortunately, whilst I got further then most along the rather strict trials for the dutch air-force (they only got a handful of machines with a waiting list for pilots to fly them of 2 years which kinda allows them to filter on pure natural talents only) I failed a simulation flight and the fun was up along that route. It was a great experience that helped me gain a little confidence. After all I did get further through selection then most applicants ^^

It was a few months before it was time to apply for a bachelor study when my dad offered to send me to our house in eastern Europe to set up an orchard in the backyard. He'd pay me 600 euros a month whilst covering the expanses of the orchard and house. Which would basically make me a well earning man in that country and he'd buy me a second hand car to use. I told him I needed some time to think about it.


How did you juggle everything you chose to take into account?
At first, Honestly, I thought that I'd probably never amount to anything was a total lozer and If the air force did not pan out, I could always become a cop... (no offence to the police, I seriously dig the idea of working with k9's)
But I also knew that as a cop, I would see even more of the ugly side of society then I saw already and that it would likely heavily scar my psyche in the long run. I also knew that I couldn't really afford a bachelor study.
However I also did the multimedia design thing and honestly, that stuff was kinda fun and it would pay better then most jobs. But I did not have the confidence to go freelance in that yet. For that I would need to do another study in that field to gain the confidence I needed. An acquaintance I made who worked as a Lead Character Artist in the game industry at a triple A studio recommended me to check out the school I am at now, and so I did at an open day.


What was your thought process throughout your decision-making?


Which is when, I began making my famous list. It began with writing down the things I thought I absolutely needed to have in that house to be comfortable and what I needed to change.
I then began writing things I absolutely wanted to do someday. I wrote down things others consider dreams and turned them into definite goals.
Mostly, I thought about what I needed to be happy should I end up alone in life. I mean honestly, I still don't really have friends let alone a girlfriend or a wife lol.

So when my list that what mostly about what I wanted in life and what I needed in order to make me setting up the orchard work for me as my life, I mostly came to the conclusion that yes I kinda wanted it.
But also, that I'd have some terribly boring winter months that I needed to fill up with something... Preferably something lucrative, so I had a more reliable income and would not be screwed over should the harvest be bad a year.
That got me thinking. I also wanted that flexibility and freedom to not need to worry and flip out if things did not go as well as expected. I needed more stability for my own peace of mind.
Whilst I was at it, If I would find someone to settle down with, I figured I did want it to be there, and that I wanted to be able to have that extra layer of financial security.
I also wanted to have the means and time to spend time available to spend with that person and go places without having to worry about finances, time, bills etc. and have a job that would eventually allow me to possibly see my kids grow up because I worked from home.

My list was pretty big by then. I also realized that I needed to get a job in which I could freelance easily from home, in a place like my house and orchard.
The circle had come round. Everything I wanted was achievable already by merely setting up that orchard, moving and taking care of it there. But getting that bachelor in a field that was freelance-able from home would make things much more secure and easier. That's how I ended up doing the study I do now, I chose to get that bachelor to gain the confidence I need, and if possible work a few years in the industry gain good CV, work experience and building the confidence, in addition to creating a financial buffer for when I go freelance to fall back on.

So I did something that created for me, multiple redundancies.
Something which I think is a necessity with how things are in the world right now. Having that flexibility in your options is vital.

If I were to advice someone, it would be the following things.
1. Make that list
2. Consider your options
3. Learn something that gives you an actual skill set like repairing or producing something.
4. Consider your gender, and it's stereotype.

the 4th one might come as a shock to you. but it's a vital one, who are we really to believe we will escape our stereotypes?

As a male, my stereotype is that if manage to find a wife, I am expected to bring food to the table, it is also stereotypical for dads to not be present when their kids take their first steppes, or show other forms of growth through anything else then a whatsapp message from your wife, to be unhappy with the job chosen in pursuit of money.

As a woman, your stereotype is marrying and getting kids, and ending up sitting at home all day and eventually ending up behind a cash register because you chose a study in something that is too common with too few spots.

These are the stereotypes, of course there are exceptions. The question is, what parts of your stereotype do you want to have? Which do you want to be true? Your choice in career shapes that.
You can go study to become a lawyer, but there is a big chance you will be at work most of the day, or if fall in love and have kids your dream of being a lawyer or your family might suffer. Be it from being at home duo to a pregnancy or threats to your family.
You could go study leisure management only to find out that basically anyone can do your job regardless whether they have a bachelor degree in this. In the end, Everyone studying some form of management, can do your job, some possibly even better or they'll be hired because they're more likely to get the financial costs down better then you. And you end up jobless because there are too many people who study management and too few spots.
You could study psychology or philosophy only to realize, it's one of the most popular studies world wide, your country is cutting off psychiatric treatment from its healthcare system and no one can afford to see a psychiatrist anymore, not to mention that there are too many graduates out there and very few spots...
You could become a cop or a soldier, and one day fail to come home ever again, be gone too much for your relationships to work, get traumatized to the point where nothing feels right anymore or have your family be targeted by someone.

Whatever job you choose that can possibly result from your choice of study. It will have advantages and disadvantages. LIST THEM and COMPARE THEM to your stereotype, to their stereotypes find ways to get out of life the lifestyle that you want.
I would recommend choosing something that allows you to set up your own company or freelance from home, and/or make create something.
Example, if you're not creative or handy at repairing things, maybe something financial like an accountant works for you? You can still freelance and still set up your own accountancy. Or perhaps you can set up your own architectural bureau in which you design stuff for people or check the feasibility, safety, etc of people wanting to build a house. Or code stuff like websites, games or systems or something

As long as you choose a path that allows you to Produce or Repair something though, you will always find work more easily.
 
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This has been my lifelong struggle. It's even harder if you go to school not knowing and then you end up without the initial training and experience to move into something that is actually right for you....but you already have a bunch of debt.
I think INFJs (and maybe all NFs) really need to find our Purpose. I found a really helpful diagram that helps define that:
Purpose-Venn-Diagram.png

After taking all of this into consideration, I think it's also important to think about what you want your day to day life to be like. Do you want to work for yourself, or would you rather go to work and be able to come home and leave work at work? Are you willing to work on call or have a flexible schedule? Are you willing to travel for work? Do you want to work with others closely or be mostly autonomous?

I went through so many different things and had many different ideas. And I have a lot of regrets about not pursuing certain areas and opportunities. It's a lot harder now that I have a bunch of debt and I have to work full-time, living paycheck to paycheck, and trying to help my family out, and trying to go back to school little by little to do all the prerequisites I need to move on to get a masters degree.

I've always done art, and I am good at it. The first painting I ever sold was for $1000. But I'm too afraid to try to make it my career. And it doesn't feel meaningful enough for me' it doesn't have enough impact on other peoples lives. So art will remain my hobby.

I originally went to school for Journalism and Political Science and was minoring in Art and Music. Way too ambitious. Then I changed to Art and Psychology and my plan was to be an Art Therapist (after taking a class called "Major Decision" to help me pick my path). And I changed schools. Then I realized that wasn't like a real job and I would invest a bunch of money into my education for nothing. So I changed to a Psych minor, thinking I would figured out what to DO otherwise. I almost left University to go to Culinary School but decided against it. I almost started BioChem. I started Sustainability. I started Nutrition/Dietetics. Eventually I just was racking up so much debt and I wasn't sure what I was doing so I just graduated with a major in Art and a minor in Psychology. I thought "I'll just figure out what I want to do and then I'll go on to do a Master's" - EASIER SAID THAN DONE.

I almost went to do a Master's in Food Studies (learning all about sustainability, growing food, storing, processing, food policy, nutrition, etc etc etc). It was an awesome program. I was in LOVE love with it. But when I went to speak to old Professors to get letters of recommendation one said to "What are you independently wealthy?" I said "..no..." and she said "What job is this degree going to lead to?" and I said "Um....I think I'll figure it out while I'm there..." and she said "Ok, listen. You don't go get a Master's degree because you are interested in something. You do it because there is a specific job you want, and you know that degree will get you that job. It's an investment. And it is an expensive one". So that, as hard as it was to hear...seemed like solid advice, so I listened.

So I thought, well I don't want to be a Farmer. I love gardening, but I'm an Intuitive, not a Sensor. I want to work more with ideas than actual THINGS. So I thought I would go back to Nutrition. I was going to become a Dietitian but I was worried about how much time and money the investment would be for the fairly low income. More importantly I have found that the industry is massively corrupted with bad science and false information, for political and economic reasons. I had a Dietitian teaching a Nutrition class I took who told us that vitamins in enriched cereals were the same as getting it from regular foods like fruits and vegetables. Another one (when I went back to take more Nutrition classes after college) was telling outright lies about GMOs and I almost lost it. I cannot be part of that.

So then I was going to go become a Naturopathic Doctor, and I was really excited for it. I think I would be great at it. But my friend is a Naturopath and she recommended against it because it's a LOT of money and work and you can't even practice in most states, and insurance does not cover it, and you have to be really good at having your own business. I also have met more than a few people who went to school to become an ND and ended up unemployed or underemployed. So I was hesitant to do this. It would have been like 7 years to achieve this.

Then I started learning about childbirth and I was astounded at how passionate I felt about it. So I thought I would become a Midwife. Certified Nurse Midwives make around 100K a year. But I don't believe in the over-medicalized hospital version of birth so I knew I couldn't go become a Nurse and then a Midwife. The other option is becoming a Certified Professional Midwife and train directly in Midwifery and learn more about Natural childbirth. I would rather have the skills to save women's and babies' lives rather than defaulting to major surgery (especially since the over-use of antibiotics has lead to antibiotic resistant bacteria and we are speeding toward a time where we won't be able to fight infections with antibiotics and surgeries will become EXTREMELY risky). But CPMs do not make very much money. Most of them work non-stop just to get by. That would be a viable option if I was married to someone who could provide, and had kids already that were grown up enough to be ok if I was suddenly gone for days at a time.....but that's just not the case. maybe someday....

So now I am working in the Supplement Industry in Sales. Which....is ok, but it's really not what I'm best at. I'm really not a salesman, and I wouldn't even be able to do it if I was selling something that wasn't truly good for people. This is a growing Industry, and its a viable career for sure. But I'm just not a salesperson. So while I do this job I am working on going back to school to do the prerequisites I need so I can get a Masters in Nutrition, possibly with a Didactic Program in Dietetics (I found one who teaches in line with my beliefs). My plan is to be a Fertility/Genetics Counselor and do Prenatal and Postnatal and Child Nutrition. I think this is a viable area. And I think it is SO SO SO IMPORTANT. It combines so many of the things I love. I can work with midwives and doctors. And someday maybe I will also train as a midwife. Also, someday I will probably end up in an off-the-grid community and just say FUCK IT to this whole system. So there's that....

SO:
What I Love: Women's Health, Pregnancy/Birth, Nutrition and Food, Alternative Healthcare, Epigenetics
What I'm Good at: Teaching, Counseling, Writing, Speaking, Creating, Inspiring, Making Systems and People Better, Nurturing, and Cooking
What The World Needs: Healing, the lifting up of the Divine Feminine, Support for Mothers and Babies, Proper Nourishment, Returns of Ancient Wisdom, Community-Building
What People Will Pay Me For: Midwifery, Fertility Counseling, Genetic Counseling, Kitchen Management (Dietitian), Nutrition Counseling (Dietitian)

So I guess....I'm still getting there.

Oh and:
purpose-venn-diagram-funny.png
 
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Well, I wanted to do music since I was a kid and apparently I am a bit too much into it to just stop thinking about it and have the attitude of being a "responsible young man with a serious degree and a serious job" as many people would expect me to be. No one said I am not responsible of course, but it seems that there are things that are not in one's control, witch would include a persons passions in life. However keep in mind I have the support of my family in this, who do give me a serious financial backing, for some people doing what I do might be a bit more complicated, but from what I have seen from many successful people, complicated is merely a matter of "i do not know how to do it and therefore I give up".