How can I gain an INFJ's forgiveness after fucking up in a major way? | Page 7 | INFJ Forum

How can I gain an INFJ's forgiveness after fucking up in a major way?

I can't help but see standard ENTP behavior from the Op even in the last update (IE bad). In other words nothings changed and it wasn't about forgiveness it was about the Op and what he wanted.

/thread.
 
Here is the letter in its current form. If anyone is interested in reacting to it in any way, please do, I would greatly appreciate the feedback.

That letter might work with some people but an Infj would read that and fail to see the point. It doesn't seem like an apology only statements here and there. it seems very cold and unapologetic IMO, almost like you wrote it as an afterthought expecting that it would win her back. it's simple really : I screwed up, here is what I did wrong, I apologize for being inconsiderate, I know I hurt your feelings, what happened happened but I'm not content with leaving things like that, I want you to know that you're unlike anyone else and I really need you back. I took things for granted before but now I realize that What I did was cruel and heartless, I am deeply sorry for all the pain I caused you, you don't deserve to be treated that way.

--
Sometimes you just have to go out on a limb and admit you screwed up big time. Ego or not

I'm rooting for you
 
I can't help but see standard ENTP behavior from the Op even in the last update (IE bad). In other words nothings changed and it wasn't about forgiveness it was about the Op and what he wanted.

/thread.

I agree.

This tragedy's been dragged on longer than expected. Now let's assume OP's telling the truth and the to "fall in love with INFJ's suitemate" is not part of OP's greater scheme. Even so, even if OP's completely innocent and it just "happened", it's shitty what he's doing. The least he could do is not be so damn insensitive to her perspective, which has been elaborated by other INFJs here a lot already.

I can't blame him though. He's young and still maturing. Maybe if he sits down or gets more life experience (i.e. gets burned) will he really understand. Or at least think about actually applying what others are telling him here.

I see this in myself too, which is why I find this fascinating. ENTPs are very good at being objective, but somehow lack empathy - the ability to feel others' pain and try to actually feel, not just "see" from their perspective. Like we can be objective and put our eyes in others' sockets, but we can't put ourselves in others' minds.
 
THIS!

It's like '' I traumatitized this poor girl for the fatal flaw of showing me kindness. When that wasn't enough i tried to weasal my way back into her life to assauge my wants with little to no concern or regard with just how fucked up it is to lay a suicide attempt on an empath/feeler. Then I screw my way literally into her social circle and have sex with her former friend at night making her feel confused, alienated, and perhaps a little scared and unsure. But it's all good. I'm over and can laugh about it now!"

You attitude is *not* made of win. If she were my friend, you'd get an earful. And perhaps a mouthful of broken teeth. I feel *so* bad for her. She is prolly not sure if this is all some grand scheme to worm your way back into her life. Because I've had a stalker or two myself, and they think NOTHING of tearing up your friendships to get at you. It's like that movie Beloved. *shaking my damn head* i hope you don't come across this callous in real life. But its all good, because hey, at least you got a laugh out of it and a cool story, right?


ummm.... +1,000
wish I hadn't read this thread
 
I read the posts and I see a lot of arguing with the OP and pushing an apologetic agenda. The original objective was to be friends again with the INFJ girl. Did anyone ask the OP why he thought writing the letter or doing other actions we've been privy to would actually work out best?
 
I read the posts and I see a lot of arguing with the OP and pushing an apologetic agenda. The original objective was to be friends again with the INFJ girl. Did anyone ask the OP why he thought writing the letter or doing other actions we've been privy to would actually work out best?

OP already said so - he thought he could fix things and make everything better by his writing a letter. He believes that he's right and that it will work because the girl will somehow sit down, digest his words, come to believe his rational assertions that he's a better man, come out, give him a big hug...
 
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