Hoodie
Community Member
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- Err
I need someone to talk to. So I thought I'd ramble here!
There's this fellow whom I've had a crush on for... a long time: 7 - 8 years to be vaguely exact. The last couple years I sort of just gave up on crushing on him, after much conflicting thoughts and signals. It would appear that I'm too shy - or was too shy - to tell him how I felt. And if he liked me, well, I have a feeling he's also too shy to tell me.
Also it's a lot more complicated than that, and this is when it starts to get ridiculous ad perhaps creepy if you don't understand the situation. See, we're "cousins". We're not actually related, neither are any of our parents, but we were raised in a group of people that decided to be a family. So we grew up calling each other cousins, even though we're not related at all. But we always knew we weren't related. So another part of me thinks that perhaps he thinks people would think we were weird and so that's why he never made a move.
Now after a few years of not crushing on him, and instead taking my hormones elsewhere, things have changed ever so slightly. I'm louder, more confident, we have more things in common now, etc etc. Also I'm finding that very few guys can hold my admiration for a long period of time.
Now another part that's odd is - some back ground history - I take a fair amount of stock in dreams (for personal reasons). I've always had dreams about this crush since forever- which makes sense, after 7 years of constantly thinking about someone, you're going to start dreaming about them. But the dreams didn't stop when I "moved on". I got myself into a relationship with someone else and the dreams still came- I'd be kissing him or discovering that he liked me too and everything would be wonderful until I remembered that I was in a relationship with someone else.
Clues that he may like me: When he's around, he seems to hang around me a fair amount. When we were at a party with a bunch of friends, in pretty well all the pictures he's either beside me or looking at me.
Clues that I might like him still: Whenever I'm around him I actually feel like a woman. Which is a surprisingly nice feeling. Thinking about him with someone else makes me a tad queasy. Maybe it's just old emotions?
So, the plan is I'm HOPING on sort of telling him, because I can't keep going around like this.
NOW there's this OTHER guy I know who's in charge of a group I volunteer first aid for. We're both pretty shy.quiet in person. Just the other day he friended me on Facebook, and just last night he messaged me. It started out as a business text, but pretty soon we were just chatting. And we chatted for quite a few hours. I think he flirted with me at one point but I'm not entirely sure- I mean it had a wink face, so...
Anyway, he's super adorable in both his personality and appearance. He tends to tease everyone and is rather sarcastic but he has such a soft side that I'm just getting to know <3 I'm really happy for the person that will eventually find this gem of a man, though I don't think he's the guy for me. Even though he's super adorable. And he's a paramedic. Him in his uniform my goodness. HOWEVER I'm hoping that me and him can be friends. It would be really cool to have a friend in this town.
Anyway that's my weird stuff.
There's this fellow whom I've had a crush on for... a long time: 7 - 8 years to be vaguely exact. The last couple years I sort of just gave up on crushing on him, after much conflicting thoughts and signals. It would appear that I'm too shy - or was too shy - to tell him how I felt. And if he liked me, well, I have a feeling he's also too shy to tell me.
Also it's a lot more complicated than that, and this is when it starts to get ridiculous ad perhaps creepy if you don't understand the situation. See, we're "cousins". We're not actually related, neither are any of our parents, but we were raised in a group of people that decided to be a family. So we grew up calling each other cousins, even though we're not related at all. But we always knew we weren't related. So another part of me thinks that perhaps he thinks people would think we were weird and so that's why he never made a move.
Now after a few years of not crushing on him, and instead taking my hormones elsewhere, things have changed ever so slightly. I'm louder, more confident, we have more things in common now, etc etc. Also I'm finding that very few guys can hold my admiration for a long period of time.
Now another part that's odd is - some back ground history - I take a fair amount of stock in dreams (for personal reasons). I've always had dreams about this crush since forever- which makes sense, after 7 years of constantly thinking about someone, you're going to start dreaming about them. But the dreams didn't stop when I "moved on". I got myself into a relationship with someone else and the dreams still came- I'd be kissing him or discovering that he liked me too and everything would be wonderful until I remembered that I was in a relationship with someone else.
Clues that he may like me: When he's around, he seems to hang around me a fair amount. When we were at a party with a bunch of friends, in pretty well all the pictures he's either beside me or looking at me.
Clues that I might like him still: Whenever I'm around him I actually feel like a woman. Which is a surprisingly nice feeling. Thinking about him with someone else makes me a tad queasy. Maybe it's just old emotions?
So, the plan is I'm HOPING on sort of telling him, because I can't keep going around like this.
NOW there's this OTHER guy I know who's in charge of a group I volunteer first aid for. We're both pretty shy.quiet in person. Just the other day he friended me on Facebook, and just last night he messaged me. It started out as a business text, but pretty soon we were just chatting. And we chatted for quite a few hours. I think he flirted with me at one point but I'm not entirely sure- I mean it had a wink face, so...

Anyway that's my weird stuff.