Help the living or the dead?

[Skarekrow]

Okay,
I know this is kind of a personal decision...but I would appreciate your advice anyhow.
So currently you all know that I work assisting with open heart surgery...which I love, but some of you also know that I have had difficulties standing for the appropriate amount of time required to do the job because of the arthritis in my back.
I have an opportunity to possibly take a job assisting with autopsies at the morgue...it would be fewer hours, less standing, but comparable pay, and since it would be a county job, I would be in a union and have county benefits (which would be nice).
I know the blood and gore wouldn’t bother me as I am quite used to that...but I worry that it would be a bit morbid and sad to do day in day out.
It would be cool in a way to put on some music, cut and sew on some bodies, and not have to have too much interaction with anyone besides the forensic pathologist/county examiner...kind of a good job for an introvert such as myself.
Any thoughts or considerations that perhaps I haven’t looked into would be greatly appreciated.
??????

 

[rawr]

what does your heart tell you?

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Why don't you take some time off surgery and spend a little time in mortuary work before deciding.

One thing that has always bothered me when dealing with morgue personnel is that there seems to be a very widespread culture of disrespect around the remains of people. I don't just mean the occasional pun; but the kind of stuff that would be grossly disrespectful if the person were alive; and even some stuff that could possibly be criminal - or at leat would definitely be criminal if the person were alive.... I don't know if it is a sensitivity for you, but I always see the dead in terms of their significance to their relatives. So when I've dealt with morticians being flippant about bodies it has always greatly troubled me.

 

[Skarekrow]

what does your heart tell you?

My heart says to at least reply and see where it goes...so long as I don’t quit my current job I can at least check it out.

Why don't you take some time off surgery and spend a little time in mortuary work before deciding.

One thing that has always bothered me when dealing with morgue personnel is that there seems to be a very widespread culture of disrespect around the remains of people. I don't just mean the occasional pun; but the kind of stuff that would be grossly disrespectful if the person were alive; and even some stuff that could possibly be criminal - or at leat would definitely be criminal if the person were alive.... I don't know if it is a sensitivity for you, but I always see the dead in terms of their significance to their relatives. So when I've dealt with morticians being flippant about bodies it has always greatly troubled me.

I’ve been in morgues before...to become a paramedic (many moons ago) you have to work in one for 72 hours.
I completely understand what you are saying 100%...having worked as a paramedic both one the streets and as one in the ER....then (after more education) working in the OR. There is a good percentage of medical personal that are disrespectful to both the living and the dead...no need for details.
I can only imagine what can go in a morgue that I haven’t already seen...I’m sure it isn’t pleasant...but those that work with me for any period of time know that I will not stand for anyone disrespecting the patients....including the doctors. It does bother me very much, but I also have no problem speaking up for myself or calling them out on being disrespectful. I think in some ways, the way you act and behave can rub off on others just as they learned to be disrespectful (or at least tolerant of it) from someone. It can work both ways.
But yes, they are disrespectful.
I’m not.

 

[Gul Dukat]

I had a friend who was going to be a mortician until one day he had to embalm a small child.
I think it's a pretty tough call either way, to be honest.

 

[JGirl]

i imagine you went into this field to help save/improve the quality of people's lives. the dead are dead. i don't think you would feel the same fulfillment if you were to work in the morgue.

 

[Amalthea]

I'd argue by helping the dead you are helping the living. The ripples don't just stop once a person has fallen. If you feel you would be respectful and effective at that job then you're likely the best person for it. Arthritis is awful, sitting is nice. It might be a shock to the system at first, perhaps shake you emotionally at times, but if it provides you with the stability you wish then it sounds worth while applying for at least.

 

[Kgal]

What would you do if you saw the spirit of the dead one hovering around because they're confused?

I for one would like to see a person who respected the dead working as a mortician. Strangely, one of my Moms I have as a client is planning to become a mortician when she graduates college. When I asked her to tell me why - she was totally committed to taking care of the dead which she felt would bring healing to the survivors. I asked her if she was prepared to "help one cross over should they still be stuck here". She opened her eyes wide in surprise - and then shook her head emphatically Yes.

From my studies recently into the world of shamanism and many years ago watching a movie on the Tibetan Book of the Dead - there seems to be a huge need for helping people cross over. This stems from many reasons but largely because we as a society think once the body is dead that's the end of the death process. It’s not always the case - though.


With the changes going on at an energetic level here on Earth I suspect it will become easier and easier for people to “see” or sense a wider range of energy signatures. Hence we here in the material form will be able to see those in other energetic frequencies inhabiting the same space. As you know this is already happening and increasing. Of course this might also mean when one’s spirit leaves the body form it may be easier for them to choose to move on in the direction they need to go next - instead of being confused and stuck between the worlds.


After Dad died - Mom “saw” him numerous times in her bedroom at night. Sometimes he was with people she recognized - other times she didn’t know who they were. He would also come alone too. Each visit he looked radiantly happy and would beam his love for her to her. I think Dad died consciously because Mom said the night he died they had a conversation about letting go. He was struggling to hold on and breathe and Mom finally told him that she’d be ok if he left her. That if he wanted to go - it was ok. She left the room for a few minutes and when she returned he was gone. In making the decision to leave his body form - Dad died with full conscious awareness of his path.


Many - many - others do not get that opportunity. Sudden death from an accident or deliberate murder can leave the spirit confused. Also - those people that hang on to life at all costs - being afraid to die - can linger here in this material plane for a long time.


I was delighted my client’s Mom was preparing to help be a bridge for those lost souls needing a guide to help them cross.

Then again - I hope there will be no need for it.

I think it would be a good change for you. It also feels right to me for you to bring your light into the dark areas of our society.

 

[Skarekrow]

I had a friend who was going to be a mortician until one day he had to embalm a small child.
I think it's a pretty tough call either way, to be honest.

It wouldn't bother me as much if they were already dead, I have seen plenty of children die and that bothers me more than I think working on an already dead child would. Yes, of course I have a good imagination and that can run away from you if you let it. But, I think I can cope. It is always difficult to work on a child as we have a natural built in instinct to protect them...or we can relate them to our own.

i imagine you went into this field to help save/improve the quality of people's lives. the dead are dead. i don't think you would feel the same fulfillment if you were to work in the morgue.

I may possibly not. I’m not sure yet, but as much as I would like to continue to do surgery, I almost cannot physically anymore...I am due back to work on Monday and I have asked them to start me back just doing 5 hour days for a while until I can either get more of my strength back or I fall on my face figuratively.
IDK...it’s a - play it by ear thing.

I'd argue by helping the dead you are helping the living. The ripples don't just stop once a person has fallen. If you feel you would be respectful and effective at that job then you're likely the best person for it. Arthritis is awful, sitting is nice. It might be a shock to the system at first, perhaps shake you emotionally at times, but if it provides you with the stability you wish then it sounds worth while applying for at least.

I’m seriously considering changing my tagline to “Arthritis is awful, sitting is nice.” - Amalthea lololol I love it....well said.
Seriously though, those that work with me at the hospital know that they do not cut corners with me, and they also know that I am a huge patient advocate. It is very easy for some to forget that there is a person once we put all the drapes on and all you can see is the surgical site....it is even easy for me to forget, but I make a conscious choice to remember. Once that person is asleep, they are completely helpless, they trust the anesthesiologist to breathe for them, they trust the circulating nurse to position them properly and to treat that person with respect even though they are asleep. And they trust me and the surgeon to do what we need to do surgical-wise, to do it properly, to not leave anything behind....etc. I consider it part of my job to speak up when I see something not being done properly...because the patient cannot speak for themselves...what would I want?
So to answer your question...yes, I would be very respectful, I always have been....I have had to zip people up into body bags before...no, their spirit is no longer there in my eyes, but that is no reason to be any less respectful. It all goes back to my Mom teaching me to “treat others as I would want to be treated”.

 

[Skarekrow]

What would you do if you saw the spirit of the dead one hovering around because they're confused?

I for one would like to see a person who respected the dead working as a mortician. Strangely, one of my Moms I have as a client is planning to become a mortician when she graduates college. When I asked her to tell me why - she was totally committed to taking care of the dead which she felt would bring healing to the survivors. I asked her if she was prepared to "help one cross over should they still be stuck here". She opened her eyes wide in surprise - and then shook her head emphatically Yes.

From my studies recently into the world of shamanism and many years ago watching a movie on the Tibetan Book of the Dead - there seems to be a huge need for helping people cross over. This stems from many reasons but largely because we as a society think once the body is dead that's the end of the death process. It’s not always the case - though.


With the changes going on at an energetic level here on Earth I suspect it will become easier and easier for people to “see” or sense a wider range of energy signatures. Hence we here in the material form will be able to see those in other energetic frequencies inhabiting the same space. As you know this is already happening and increasing. Of course this might also mean when one’s spirit leaves the body form it may be easier for them to choose to move on in the direction they need to go next - instead of being confused and stuck between the worlds.


After Dad died - Mom “saw” him numerous times in her bedroom at night. Sometimes he was with people she recognized - other times she didn’t know who they were. He would also come alone too. Each visit he looked radiantly happy and would beam his love for her to her. I think Dad died consciously because Mom said the night he died they had a conversation about letting go. He was struggling to hold on and breathe and Mom finally told him that she’d be ok if he left her. That if he wanted to go - it was ok. She left the room for a few minutes and when she returned he was gone. In making the decision to leave his body form - Dad died with full conscious awareness of his path.


Many - many - others do not get that opportunity. Sudden death from an accident or deliberate murder can leave the spirit confused. Also - those people that hang on to life at all costs - being afraid to die - can linger here in this material plane for a long time.


I was delighted my client’s Mom was preparing to help be a bridge for those lost souls needing a guide to help them cross.

Then again - I hope there will be no need for it.

I think it would be a good change for you. It also feels right to me for you to bring your light into the dark areas of our society.

Very nice post, thanks. My Mom had similar experiences with my Father when he passed. Before he passed, his Mother came to her and physically held her hand and exuded a feeling of comfort to her.
I think I would be fine with seeing a ghost suddenly...the thing with ghost is, you can tell (or at least I can from the few experiences I have had) if they have good or bad intentions...I don’t feel that a confused spirit, even the spirit of someone who wasn’t the nicest person in life, would be presented in a negative manner. I have had a ghost do some violent things physically, not to scare me I felt at the time, but to say “I am here” or to just get my attention. It should have scared me at the time, but there was no negative energy...I’m having trouble explaining it, but I’m sure if anyone gets what I am saying you would Kgal.
And you do bring up a thought that I didn’t consider, which is the possibility of bringing a spirit home with me. (not that that worries me too much)
But the possibility still remains.
But knowing myself, I do feel that I would be good in that position, I wouldn’t consider it seriously otherwise.
I know that I would be respectful, I know that I would take care as religiously as one can while doing an autopsy.
Thank you for your comments.

 

[Kgal]

Very nice post, thanks. My Mom had similar experiences with my Father when he passed. Before he passed, his Mother came to her and physically held her hand and exuded a feeling of comfort to her.
I think I would be fine with seeing a ghost suddenly...the thing with ghost is, you can tell (or at least I can from the few experiences I have had) if they have good or bad intentions...I don’t feel that a confused spirit, even the spirit of someone who wasn’t the nicest person in life, would be presented in a negative manner. I have had a ghost do some violent things physically, not to scare me I felt at the time, but to say “I am here” or to just get my attention. It should have scared me at the time, but there was no negative energy...I’m having trouble explaining it, but I’m sure if anyone gets what I am saying you would Kgal.
And you do bring up a thought that I didn’t consider, which is the possibility of bringing a spirit home with me. (not that that worries me too much)
But the possibility still remains.
But knowing myself, I do feel that I would be good in that position, I wouldn’t consider it seriously otherwise.
I know that I would be respectful, I know that I would take care as religiously as one can while doing an autopsy.
Thank you for your comments.

I think I "get" what you're saying...

You're gonna be brilliant....and as [MENTION=7267]Amalthea[/MENTION] says...your compassionate intentions will ripple out and bring healing to those families of the deceased.

 

[Rcs6r]

There seems to be more pros than cons in changing jobs, but the dread of working with the deceased is a serious concern, and you don't want to do something that makes you unhappy.

Sympathy for the dead is an interesting debacle. I would not worry, you're ultimately doing the right thing with the latter job. If you can find ease, do it.

 

[Sriracha]

Look at it this way: Your clients will never complain. LOL

 

[sprinkles]

Why don't you take some time off surgery and spend a little time in mortuary work before deciding.

One thing that has always bothered me when dealing with morgue personnel is that there seems to be a very widespread culture of disrespect around the remains of people. I don't just mean the occasional pun; but the kind of stuff that would be grossly disrespectful if the person were alive; and even some stuff that could possibly be criminal - or at leat would definitely be criminal if the person were alive.... I don't know if it is a sensitivity for you, but I always see the dead in terms of their significance to their relatives. So when I've dealt with morticians being flippant about bodies it has always greatly troubled me.

Well the body is a corpse and the person is not there. In Tibet and Mongolia they ceremonially chop them up and feed them to the vultures, based on the principle that its inhabitant has gone on so there's no sense in preserving it, let the vultures and other animals have it.

[MENTION=5045]Skarekrow[/MENTION]
I think the morgue would go well with your plague doctor mask there.

 

[Skarekrow]

I have decided to go for it...I’ll throw my resume at them and see what happens...wish me luck.
Thank for all your input, I really appreciate it!
I do see the body of the deceased as nothing more than an empty shell....but I still feel strongly that it should be respected, and I know I always will.
I know that I have the stomach for the job and as far as I know, the right mindset.
So long as I can keep from being haunted by someone, it should be a good fit for me.

 

[this is only temporary]

Best of luck with that, Skarekrow. It sounds... well.. fun? In a weird sort of way.

I like dead people, I think working with suffering, frightened, or ill people would be much more difficult than being in a morgue or working as a mortician. Have you ever heard of people who donate their bodies to science so CSI investigators can study the process of decomposition in different circumstances? It's kind of cool, and helps people solve crimes. They have a whole big farm where they leave all the corpses out in various stages of decomposition, so they can figure out what happens when and how and what kind of insects are involved and everything. (Pardon me if this is making anyone barf.)

And I've always liked cemeteries. And nobody's going to haunt you unless you let them.

 

[Skarekrow]

Best of luck with that, Skarekrow. It sounds... well.. fun? In a weird sort of way.

I like dead people, I think working with suffering, frightened, or ill people would be much more difficult than being in a morgue or working as a mortician. Have you ever heard of people who donate their bodies to science so CSI investigators can study the process of decomposition in different circumstances? It's kind of cool, and helps people solve crimes. They have a whole big farm where they leave all the corpses out in various stages of decomposition, so they can figure out what happens when and how and what kind of insects are involved and everything. (Pardon me if this is making anyone barf.)

And I've always liked cemeteries. And nobody's going to haunt you unless you let them.

I like cemeteries too...Père Lachaise in Paris should be on your bucket-list if you haven’t been there yet....you could easily spend all day (and night) there....it’s huge and so incredibly beautiful....the architecture and statuary are second to none. And it’s fun to try and find the famous folks like Honore de Balzac, Bizet, Oscar Wilde, Seurat, etc. there is a huge list.

Yes, I have seen programs about the “body farms”...I find it fascinating too.
I actually don’t find very much repulsive....save for sucking snot out of someone’s trach-tube at the hospital...ugh.
No...blood, guts, shit, vomit, etc....don’t bother me that much for some reason, they never have....just how my brain is wired I guess.
I think I will be kind of cool too in many ways...it will certainly be less stressful...if you accidentally cut the aorta in a corpse they will not rapidly bleed to death while you are desperately trying to sew it back up. In surgery you have to constantly be “on” there is no breaking your concentration in most cases...and some surgeries, especially heart surgery can go on for over 8 hours....(the simple one’s only last 5).
So that would be nice. And it would be fascinating to see the different ways they determine the cause of death...things like that really get my mind going.

 

[Kgal]

 

[Skarekrow]

If the sparkly, mouse angel wishes me luck then it can only turn out good!

 

[Eventhorizon]

Which job is more stable? I would take \ stay with the one that has the least chance of going away.