I’m trying to correctly type my bf. Can anyone help? He did the test once and came out as ISTJ but somehow it doesn’t sit well with me and I wonder whether he is an INTJ rather. Also, my dad is an ISTJ and there are some significant differences between them that confuse me…
With my dad, I definitely see the “duty fulfiler” in him. He will do anything for his family, and seems happy when doing chores for us, like fixing something or driving us around etc. He was also very responsible/reliable at work. He definitely shows his love practically (supporting us financially and doing things for us). But I find that he lacks depth, and doesn't seem at all caught up in his head or thoughts or feelings. In fact, I often wonder what does make him tick or what does go through his mind, other than just daily practical thoughts.
My bf has some similar traits, but then some differences. He will do anything for me, and nothing is too much trouble, when it’s for me, he is committed and takes his role of bf very seriously, and in that sense, is very loyal to his duties. But is that just because he really loves me? Differences are that my father in incapable of having discussions that are not practical (anything emotional, psychological, or spiritual). While my bf’s first choice is not these types of discussions, he has no problems/aversion to joining in. My father simply glazes over or leaves the room. Also, my bf has no problems going against rules if he doesn’t agree with them. He occasionally smokes weed, and says that he likes the way it opens the mind. My father definitely never had any interest in going there. In this way, he has more “depth” than my dad (but definitely not as much as me, as an extreme INFJ.) He is also more open emotionally than my dad, he is affectionate, and able to express love/affection verbally, even though he is definitely an ITJ and not an IFJ, and sometimes a bit emotionally awkward/uncomfortable.
My bf is very attached to his identity as a thinker, and somebody who is intelligent. There is a slight arrogance in his identity as an intellectual, and sees himself as not “normal” (as in, possible better than the norm in this regard). My father certainly has no real pride or identity in being “smart” (even though he is intelligent, although definitely not an intellectual). The things my bf likes the most about me, or what initially attracted him to me was my “mind”.
Sometimes I wonder why my dad even married, simply because that was convention? He doesn’t seem to really have a deep need for a companion or lover, other than for practical reasons. He loves us deeply and is a wonderful father, but has not provided my mom with much companionship, other than providing stability (financial, and security and absolute loyalty), but there has been little emotional/mind connection. My bf, like me, was extremely picky about his choice in a mate, fearing he would never find somebody good enough (compatible enough) and be alone forever because he would never compromise or settle. I feel my dad had very little expectation in this regard, it just needed to work practically. I don’t think he even thought about a deeper compatibility much.
My bf He is very, very, interested in current affairs and politics, as well as history and law. He studied language, art, and law at university. My father also watches the news and takes an interest in current affairs but is not as interested in the connectedness of stories etc. as my bf.
I’m INFJ with very high I, N, and F — so I love philosophy, spirituality, psychology etc. He is more likely to go with fact and rationality and can be a skeptic. I wonder if this indicates a preference for S or whether it’s just because he is more identified with thinking, which is rational? I don’t think he goes with his “gut” much, and would much rather rely on thoughts or facts and rational reasoning. This is my main reason for questioning S vs N?
On the enneagram, I would type my dad as an 8, and my bf as a 5.
My dad was an accountant, my bf is a writer.
I know these are some random facts, but what does it sound like to you? INTJ or ISTJ?
With my dad, I definitely see the “duty fulfiler” in him. He will do anything for his family, and seems happy when doing chores for us, like fixing something or driving us around etc. He was also very responsible/reliable at work. He definitely shows his love practically (supporting us financially and doing things for us). But I find that he lacks depth, and doesn't seem at all caught up in his head or thoughts or feelings. In fact, I often wonder what does make him tick or what does go through his mind, other than just daily practical thoughts.
My bf has some similar traits, but then some differences. He will do anything for me, and nothing is too much trouble, when it’s for me, he is committed and takes his role of bf very seriously, and in that sense, is very loyal to his duties. But is that just because he really loves me? Differences are that my father in incapable of having discussions that are not practical (anything emotional, psychological, or spiritual). While my bf’s first choice is not these types of discussions, he has no problems/aversion to joining in. My father simply glazes over or leaves the room. Also, my bf has no problems going against rules if he doesn’t agree with them. He occasionally smokes weed, and says that he likes the way it opens the mind. My father definitely never had any interest in going there. In this way, he has more “depth” than my dad (but definitely not as much as me, as an extreme INFJ.) He is also more open emotionally than my dad, he is affectionate, and able to express love/affection verbally, even though he is definitely an ITJ and not an IFJ, and sometimes a bit emotionally awkward/uncomfortable.
My bf is very attached to his identity as a thinker, and somebody who is intelligent. There is a slight arrogance in his identity as an intellectual, and sees himself as not “normal” (as in, possible better than the norm in this regard). My father certainly has no real pride or identity in being “smart” (even though he is intelligent, although definitely not an intellectual). The things my bf likes the most about me, or what initially attracted him to me was my “mind”.
Sometimes I wonder why my dad even married, simply because that was convention? He doesn’t seem to really have a deep need for a companion or lover, other than for practical reasons. He loves us deeply and is a wonderful father, but has not provided my mom with much companionship, other than providing stability (financial, and security and absolute loyalty), but there has been little emotional/mind connection. My bf, like me, was extremely picky about his choice in a mate, fearing he would never find somebody good enough (compatible enough) and be alone forever because he would never compromise or settle. I feel my dad had very little expectation in this regard, it just needed to work practically. I don’t think he even thought about a deeper compatibility much.
My bf He is very, very, interested in current affairs and politics, as well as history and law. He studied language, art, and law at university. My father also watches the news and takes an interest in current affairs but is not as interested in the connectedness of stories etc. as my bf.
I’m INFJ with very high I, N, and F — so I love philosophy, spirituality, psychology etc. He is more likely to go with fact and rationality and can be a skeptic. I wonder if this indicates a preference for S or whether it’s just because he is more identified with thinking, which is rational? I don’t think he goes with his “gut” much, and would much rather rely on thoughts or facts and rational reasoning. This is my main reason for questioning S vs N?
On the enneagram, I would type my dad as an 8, and my bf as a 5.
My dad was an accountant, my bf is a writer.
I know these are some random facts, but what does it sound like to you? INTJ or ISTJ?
I wasn't questioning at all whether he loves me or not. I have no doubts that he does - as I said, he's affectionate and open with his love. He tells me all the time how much he loves me, and can even be quite sentimental. I am more interested in determining whether he is INTJ or ISTJ. Maybe he just isn't a very typical MBTI typing, because of course I know there is more to somebody that a personality testing result!
