Hate and Hatred

[dragulagu]

I think I hate my mother, but I don't act upon that feeling.

Go on. (I won't reply)

 

[Deleted member 16771]

It absolutely is.

I'm sorry, do I know you?

 

[dragulagu]

I'm sorry, do I know you?

I guess you don't?

 

[Anomaly]

Hmm. I agree with most of what you said except for the idea that hating someone is a choice.

Hatred is a feeling. Feelings are involuntary involuntarily. You don't choose your feelings, but you do choose how you respond to them.

I think I hate my mother, but I don't act upon that feeling.

I'm sorry this has been your experience, Jo. I understand your position on it, but I still think hatred is an active choice based on the initial feeling of strong dislike. Dislike is the feeling, hatred is the orientation of holding onto that feeling long-term and actively choosing against the good for the other, in my opinion. Sometimes, it may be warranted, I'm not judging that though, as it is an individual decision based on experience.

In any case, I hope for healing if possible, even if it has to happen at a great distance.

 

[acd]

I think there are a few steps in one's feelings before they turn to hatred. I'm not sure if people just instantly hate anyone or anything or if it's something that festers, like I said, if left unchecked. That's been my experience anyway. Feelings are involuntary but our reactions to them don't have to be. That's why mindfulness is so helpful in managing emotions and reactions to emotions.

 

[Anomaly]

I think there are a few steps in ones feelings before they turn to hatred. I'm not sure if people just instantly hate anyone or anything or if it's something that festers, like I said, if left unchecked. That's been my experience anyway. Feelings are involuntary but our reactions to them don't have to be. That's why mindfulness is so helpful in managing emotions and reactions to emotions.

Agreed, acd. <3

 

[Wildfire]

In the healthiest societies around the world, there are children in school counselors’ offices and adults in a psychologists’ offices encountering that giant list of possible emotions they might be feeling. Hate is on that list and there isn’t an asterisk next to it. There are many reasons for that, but the subjectivity of emotional experience is chief among them. While it’s true that hate might be experienced as something that builds and festers to destructive levels for some, it’s nothing more than an expression of strong dislike for others.

In regard to emotional experiences I believe it’s far more important to understand the dynamics at play and get to know ourselves from within our own emotional framework. Within this context it would be important to know our own definition of the words we chose to describe our emotional experience and acknowledge when others definitions vary.

 

[Misty]

Hmm. I agree with most of what you said except for the idea that hating someone is a choice.

Hatred is a feeling. Feelings are involuntary involuntarily. You don't choose your feelings, but you do choose how you respond to them.

I think I hate my mother, but I don't act upon that feeling.

I agree, and relate. <3