Hatred for other people is an unnecessary waste of energy that I feel is better used for other things, like not hating.
Self hatred is an unfortunate affliction that leads to many behaviors that are potentially destructive to the individual and others.
I think people that hate other people really only hate themselves on some level.
Nail on the head.
This response isn’t focused on you....don’t think I’m singling you out...just generalizing and sharing my own experiences.
It seems also that the more mature someone becomes, the more work one does on themselves, the more they educate themselves, the less they hate other people for petty or reasons people might consider a “waste of energy” or time.
I think that self-hate is a big danger for the INFJ in particular - since types were asked to be included and discussed.
Quite possible close to the same for INTJs, INFPs, and INTPs.
We INFJs judge through the filter of our feelings...and that included judgements and feelings about ourselves.
Add a dash of self-doubt about something and the already tenuous line seems to snap easily especially as a child...being hypersensitive about things only makes you feel at the time that there is something wrong with you, accumulating along with the other feelings - now you feel alone in the world, misunderstood...if people don’t have the right support structures and unconditional love growing up as an INFJ or whatnot I can see how those can make long-lasting and potentially damaging self-judgements that can last a person’s lifetime.
For those that hate themselves...I understand, I have been there and done that, and still at times struggle with it.
It is your given perspective.
Everyday I see Zombies walk down the street with smiles plastered to their faces in seemingly happy bliss.
But I would rather struggle with moments of self-doubt and even moments of self-loathing, than to have skipped the enduring painful parts of my life.
I will always miss my Dad from cancer, and I would wish him back in a second....but IRL we don’t have that choice, and so instead of focusing all my attention and thoughts around that...I listen in my head for the advice he would have given me...I remember the good times and though sometimes even the good times bring tears to your eyes - its only because it’s meaningful and precious to you personally.
Each tear shed, washes to the sea...and great cliffs and castles are crumbled by the waves...such is the power of a tear.
Quite often I will meditate where I picture myself standing behind my physical body as I meditate...and after I can sustain that mental point of reference without switching from my head to there and back and forth...I imagine putting my hands on my shoulders or head.
And then I imagine I am just a child sitting there...and all the shit, and difficulties that we go through day to day should never be inflicted on that pure part of myself, the innocent places that remain as you grow.
I give love to that child sitting there...love and support...support and forgiveness for anything I have ever felt guilty for - especially reasons that were so minor in hindsight and yet we beat ourselves up at the time.
Would you scold a child for mistakes being made while growing up...sure, if it’s warranted.
But a loving parent scolds a child many times to protect and teach them.
But to continuously and relentlessly beat yourself up is to stagnate and only hurt what you think you have lost.
YOU, whomever is reading this...I challenge you for ONE day, just one...to not feel some form of hatred or self-doubt about yourself.
You can change the way you think and perceive, but it begins with recognition.
Each time you catch yourself in the negative thought pattern...stop...take a deep breath...shrug your shoulders and purposefully let your body relax....bring your focus and attention to the NOW....now the house isn’t burning down, now there are no bill collectors ringing your doorbell, now you are not in the ER sick and dying, now you have food in your pantry, a roof over your head....begin to count the blessings in your life instead of counting all the negative things or things you wish you could change but have little to no control over - those things are a complete waste of your time.
If you can consistently refocus yourself throughout the day then your thought patterns change after a while as a side-effect.
The hard part is recognizing when those thoughts stray into your head that shouldn’t (or you don’t want to) be there.
Of course some people need counseling and even medications to help with past or current traumatic events in our lives.
But you are not stuck or trapped ever.
I learned that after I almost successfully died by my own hand.
You are not trapped, and you are certainly never alone.
