Grass always greener on the other side

Well recently I've been reading a book called "The Power of Now" (I forgot the author, sorry), and gives you very good advice about how can you live in the present. It says that most of people's troubles are caused by thinking too much in the future or the past. Furthermore, the first step to appreciate things is by asking yourself two questions regarding a situation that you're faced with: Either you can change or adapt to a situation. But after you have made a decision make sure you stay focused on the present and avoid any post obsessive thoughts that may occur afterwards that your decision has been made. Overall it gives you very good in life practices, I recommend it, it hasn't helped me much but it gives you something to think about.

 

I have felt that way many times before. There is allways that little idea that pops up that wonders if things could have been better.

I believe the only way to stop feeling that way is to move your thoughts to the future. Set a goal for yourself, whatever it may be, and work your butt off for it. The more you think of the future, the less you mull over the past.

*Edit* About living in the "now"... That's something I have no clue how to do yet.

 

Yes, very much.

Focusing on living in my present moment and accepting what it presents is the only way I've found to combat it.

As it sounds you already realize to some extent, every moment is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Unless you accept and savor each of them as they present, your life's moments will all pass by while you are forever busy planning the perfect "next" moment. The "next" will never arrive unless you stop and accept it when it offers itself.

Also, life has a way of balancing in my experience. Whatever "better" you can imagine usually comes with a balancing "lesser" that you had not imagined.

 

I'm glad it had some resonance.

I was challenged to accept this lack of mindfulness in my own life during a period of deep emotional distress. I found some of the mindfulness meditation exercises of Jon Kabat-Zinn to be helpful, though I am admittedly not as devoted as would likely be beneficial for me.

The counselor I was seeing during my rough times introduced some of the techniques of DBT in our time together (though I do not have BPD). I believe many generally emotionally healthy people could benefit from the perspectives of mindfulness, acceptance, and distress tolerance advocated in that form of therapy. I found it interesting that DBT was developed purposefully to be free of any religious connection and it was only after it's development that the developer was made aware of it's similarities to Buddhist philosophy.