Good News / Bad News (part 2)

[Poetic Justice]

I decided to revive this game because..... Well, just because.

You turn the previous posters good news into bad news by finishing their sentence. Then post your own good news for the next person

The good news doesn't have to be true. Just make something up. Remember to post your own good news after the bad. Here goes:

I just got a new job...

 

[acd]

And it pays minimum wage!
I just bought a new house.

 

[Siimplicity]

but there's a monster in the basement!
my tea this morning is especially good.

 

[Poetic Justice]

At giving you diarrhea
Im nearly home

 

[Flavus Aquila]

... but you can't get there because your house is on fire.
I finally got my package from Amazon...

 

[Poetic Justice]

But they sent you a blue dildo when you ordered green
Im eating a baked potato

 

[acd]

But they sent you a blue dildo when you ordered green
Im eating a baked potato

...out of a biker's beard! (Like, you know, what was left over from his lunch.)
I just won the lottery.

 

[Poetic Justice]

And now everyone you know is plotting to kill you in hopes of inheriting your money

I still have most of my teeth

 

[acd]

....In a jar on your dresser.
I am not deathly allergic to shellfish.

 

[Poetic Justice]

It just makes you shit the bed for a month

I got a hug

 

[acd]

It just makes you shit the bed for a month

I got a hug

from a grizzly bear who then ate you.
I graduated college!

 

[Siimplicity]

and I can't make bad news of that -- CONGRATS!!!
I had a long nap this weekend

 

[acd]

and I can't make bad news of that -- CONGRATS!!!
I had a long nap this weekend

A dirt nap! Dun dun dunnn
I was invited to a fancy party.

 

[Siimplicity]

and when you got there, everyone was dressed as bananas.
I had a coupon for free lunch today

 

[TinyBubbles]

but the only meal there was expired cheese
I found a lost puppy

 

[acd]

But it was the spawn of Cerberus.
I'm going on vacation abroad.

 

[Trifoilum]

But it was the spawn of Cerberus.
I'm going on vacation abroad.

Together with Donald Trump.
I'm buying some cakes!

 

[PintoBean]

But they are fruit cakes.
I have a shit-ton of fun drugs.

 

[Poetic Justice]

Unfortunately a shit-ton isn't enough and you take to standing on street corners selling "special cuddles" to feed your habit

The sun is shining

 

[Siimplicity]

and at some point, it will swell into a red giant
I got a new phone finally