Trifoilum
find wisdom, build hope.
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w5
I basically just came to a realization that some new acquaintances I made most likely won't accept / are incompatible / won't take well with my self-- the entirety of my self. The present, the past, and the future.
My question is, have you ever had that realization?
Also, how do you feel? What did you do? Do you keep that friendship?
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I basically just think, "oh well, tough luck." But thinking about it deeper..
1) I probably cannot and shouldn't force them to like, "CHANGE YOURSELF TO ACCEPT MY TOTALITY". And even if I can, that doesn't seem to be a good idea. (and it's a two-way street as well. Do I -dare- to do that with them?)
2) At some point I began to think that it..hurts, the realization that 'oh, they are going to only see a part of me', but isn't that the case in most 'non-intimate' relationships?
3) But at the same time I felt like, hmm, isn't the ideal of a relationship one where you can expose yourself and your self without fear of judgment? (a.k.a, my mind began asking, "should I put my stakes somewhere better?"
4) I am aware that I am putting some significant amount of stakes with this group; I guess this is yet another part of my introversion playing. The ideas of making fair-weathered friendship, especially one made under half-truths and masks and makeups......let's just say I hope this one fares better than those, and apparently my Ni says otherwise.
5) It's not that I can't-- I can play that game very well, the game of 'showing only the parts you want them to see', but at the same time, in cases of friendship, is that even worth it?
6) Although it's not about kindness or compassion-- more intimacy and closeness and vulnerability.
My question is, have you ever had that realization?
Also, how do you feel? What did you do? Do you keep that friendship?
===
I basically just think, "oh well, tough luck." But thinking about it deeper..
1) I probably cannot and shouldn't force them to like, "CHANGE YOURSELF TO ACCEPT MY TOTALITY". And even if I can, that doesn't seem to be a good idea. (and it's a two-way street as well. Do I -dare- to do that with them?)
2) At some point I began to think that it..hurts, the realization that 'oh, they are going to only see a part of me', but isn't that the case in most 'non-intimate' relationships?
3) But at the same time I felt like, hmm, isn't the ideal of a relationship one where you can expose yourself and your self without fear of judgment? (a.k.a, my mind began asking, "should I put my stakes somewhere better?"
4) I am aware that I am putting some significant amount of stakes with this group; I guess this is yet another part of my introversion playing. The ideas of making fair-weathered friendship, especially one made under half-truths and masks and makeups......let's just say I hope this one fares better than those, and apparently my Ni says otherwise.
5) It's not that I can't-- I can play that game very well, the game of 'showing only the parts you want them to see', but at the same time, in cases of friendship, is that even worth it?
6) Although it's not about kindness or compassion-- more intimacy and closeness and vulnerability.