I think shadow Fe is selfishness as it implies someone who isn't aware of other people's feelings as much as their own and therefore, won't need to care about it.
The corollary to this is shadow Fi which characterizes INFJs selflessness and also, an unawareness of our own feelings at times (and tendency to not take care of ourselves emotionally).
Then, the position gives you the kind of selfishness. E/INFP are super feelers and I've always been attracted to that, but they are completely motivated by their own feelings/wants/desires. So, I always end up feeling disappointed in them in the end.
And between individuals, there are degrees. Shadow Fe/Fi does not mean that it's absent or totally inaccessible. And, just because you're and ENFJ doesn't mean you're going to be automatically more empathetic than another ESTP. It just means your empathy comes before your logic.
Well not that's what it is, I don't necessarily agree with that. Unhealthy, or immature ones can be self-absorbed (or just young ones) but I don't think this is typically the case.
I think they;re just oriented in a different way, but with not altogether different motives. I think it's just not about tuning into the group.collective group team spirit thing, and it's taken as self abosrbedness
It's just that to some degree, it could be said there's separation and a space between us all and that's sort of what it is. For me personally, I cannot take who I am altogether, and just change it around like it's completely moldable into something it's not. It's like going against gravity or something "how can I be like that, when it's not who I am" and it's related to the contention or idea of the self, which I guess a lot of really collectivist oriented people perhaps don't understand or believe in perhaps. But it's real and very finite and I think that's kind of what the problem with the world is.
There's always all these demands or expectations placed on individual, and pretty soon these massive external structures take all the impetus to assign and denote a person's worth, their value, who and what they are on the notion of external measures and everything, but in every case is it always possible to always know of an individuals worth? to be able to surmise or predict and proverbially see them as simply some kind of a number?
I mean I had this epiphany about collectivism (but I cannot remember it altogether right now)
But I guess the underlining idea, to achieve harmony and peace, well then you have to take the other person into consideration all of the time, and sure that's a nice idea, there's nothing wrong with that. But on a extreme level, it can start to become oppressive and suddenly are whole lives are dictated by the group (and whosoever is in charge of this group) and well, pretty soon you don't really have any choice or say in your life and as history has shown, this is not always a very good thing...
But see to people like me, that's pretty close to the epitome or definition of oppression or tyranny; and I also think that unfortunately it can lead to stagnation in larger groups of not properly mitigated.
But I also think with Fi---feelings can sort be complicated and not altogether black and white like that to them, so when everyone is in a "really good mood" it's hard for to them to just be "happy" because then the Fi-dom asks, what is happiness? how can one really define it? and likewise, it doesn't change the fact that whether or not you are focusing too much on your own emotions, it doesn't change the fact that we all have them to some degree and it's good to acknowledge them at least part of the time.
I guess, often times it comes at the negation of self, and society placing all of these implications on the individual and in the end it only comes off feeling like close to being a form of imprisonment at times.