Fe and expectations... | INFJ Forum

Fe and expectations...

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Satya, Jul 2, 2010.

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  1. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    So I might not be as skilled at Fe as you guys, but I still use it and I notice that it instills within me certain expectations of how people should behave under certain circumstances. Sometimes these expectations are unrealistic. Do you folks ever have this problem?
     
  2. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    I have really high expectations of people to behave themselves in social situations. I expect for people to be respectful and accepting of everyone, especially in a group. I start getting really tense when others violate this behavior because I know other people would start getting uncomfortable by the way the atmosphere is. I don't know if it's unrealistic, but I sort of expect for others to know what kind of behavior is or isn't acceptable.

    And my idea of what is socially acceptable is very much linked to the golden rule: do onto others as they do to you.
     
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  3. Gaze

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    I used to think this way but i notice that people don't seem to follow those rules anymore, especially in social or public settings. Today, people are very comfortable with the idea that anyone should be able to behave anyway they choose regardless of how rude, offensive, or thoughtless. And if you hint to them that their actions are distracting, they think you're being too uptight. I think there's a desire to push boundaries and see how far one can go. Little self monitoring today. Yeah, times have changed.
     
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    #3 Gaze, Jul 2, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2010
  4. Russ84

    Russ84 Community Member

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    This is pretty much the way I feel in social settings as well and when someone does something out of the "acceptable" bounds, I actually get embarrassed. Not sure why, since it is not me doing that, but I feel embarrassment.
     
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  5. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    I absolutely agree with you, except that this expectation comes automatically with me. Although I'm a bit shy to say what's on my mind, I think my eyes give off a lot of my discomfort as to how people are coming across. The moment someone misbehaves, I give this intense gaze and my face goes all red. Who knows, sometimes I wish I wasn't like that.
    Freaky, I'm the same. If someone is doing something stupid, I feel stupid as well. It's like I'm responsible for the behavior of others which is totally absurd.
     
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  6. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

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    I start looking around at everyone else, to gauge if anyone else is noticing the behavior. Often times, just by me doing that, someone else reacts. Otherwise, they seem to ignore it. Sometimes I feel like the goody-two-shoes police.

    One place where I have trouble is with board games. I like to talk and shoot the breeze. Some people want to 'hurry up and play'. That makes me feel like they don't take the social aspect seriously enough. I'm being too harsh. Some people just prefer the game to the people, but that makes me sad.
     
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    #6 Ecton, Jul 2, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2010
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