I've always felt that men should treat women chivalrously. I'm not just talking about opening doors. I'm talking about an attitude of respect, kindness, and service, treating women honorably and like the treasures that they are - whether or not they deserve it. I'm convinced that this sensibility was strongly rooted in my Fe. However, over the years, women have walked all over me because of it. Worst of all, I've let them because I've felt that I should. I've felt that no matter what happened, how they treated me, or any other factors, that this was the way people should behave. I believed this so strongly that this was one of my biggest anger triggers. I've been in more than a few fights with men who were treating women badly. Most importantly, this left me with an inability to stand up to women when they challenged me on important issues, things that would wound me terribly if I allowed it. My beliefs in how things should be were so strong that I was willing to sacrifice my emotional self in order to maintain them. I have no doubt this was my Fe in action. Recently, I was able to realize this part of myself as a distinct component, rather than an intrinsic part of my being. Now that I am aware of this facet of myself, I realize that I need to modify it, in order to keep myself healthy. The reason I am posting this is to point out an interesting facet of Fe, and how to deal with it. Fe is paradigm based. It is focused in a world view that is based on 'shoulds'. In order for us to change how we feel things should be, we have to first find a way to break off that facet of our paradigm. It cannot be altered while in use. Only when we can compartmentalize a part of our paradigm and isolate it, can we modify it. This is crucially important information for anyone who is an Fe user. We can so easily remain locked into paradigms that are unhealthy for us in the long run. We need to understand how to do this for our own well being. I hope this helps some of you as much as realizing it has helped me.