Extroverts and INFJs | INFJ Forum

Extroverts and INFJs

Cryo Soul

Cryo Soul

Regular Poster
Apr 19, 2011
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MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
Type 8
Forgive me for sounding judgemental but this is just MY EXPEREINCE....I figure this is the best way for procuring an feasibly HONEST response from extroverts because they are so shallow, that they could have any number of reasons for witholding information from you, because of their often societially reinforced non-comittal attitude.

Alright I've just gotta say it; Extroverts are TOO EASY!! It's like the cocept of "Opaqueness" or "Duality" doesn't exist or is percievable to them for the most part....I can't speak for every INFJ I know, but I'll speak for myself and say that, I'm a "Goody Bag" of a little bit of everything to EVERYBODY!! lol Simply put, I'm Hot, and Cold, I'm Up, and Down for whatever.....extroverts expect to damn much....now having all that personaltiy going, how can I possibly give that to you in a single sitting? I could take you "over the hills and through MY neck of the woods" but would you really appreciate/handle it? Probably, or probably not; fact is over the course of a relationship an introverts personality unfolds, and the extrovert is all dryed up because they burnt themselves out on the first date! I mean....ugh....I don't know WHAT I mean....I'm just tired of the bore with all these people who show me flashes of a personality but then are lost for words upon meeting them....it's just rough being an introvert and people calling you a "liar" when you possess contrary personality traits....I can't help that I'm a pro at seeing both sides of a situation, but I know where I alone STAND, and that can cause friction with an extrovert....they just do do opposites....

I've said my piece, and I'd like to hear YOURS :) I'd like to know how most extroverts deal with an introvert over the course of a relationship, ESPECIALLY with INFJs....what do you appreciate, what could you do without?
 
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My advice, find developed extroverts. My ENTP friend has the same depth as an INFJ (if not more) but he also loves boxing and works a physical job. Just like extroverts, introverts need to develop themselves to get on with extroverts, they have depth but its different.
 
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Simply put?

I like people, not personality types. I get along with most everyone. I can adapt to most anyone. I tend to dislike shallow, inconsiderate, lying, rude, obnoxious, well you get my point. I don't open up to people, nor would I consider it without a sufficient reason. I try to be outgoing and get along with everyone and make no enemies. But like I said, I do dislike people disturb the peace. I don't go on the offensive and put people down. I defend those that I care about, though.

Oh, and I'm not shallow personally. I'm rather open with those that are close to me (my friends). I'm rather skeptical of people in general and may or may not have some trust issues etc.. I'm in a situation where I'm fairly isolated from people in general at the moment and I know that has had an impact. I mean, it's making me desire company, certainly. However, I'm unsure as to whether I would really like people in general.. It's like they say, be careful what you wish for.

P.S. Not sure that I'm truly an extrovert as it may just be an illusion due to my unique circumstances.. but whatever, there is my two cents regardless.
 
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Mature and experienced extraverts are OK, they know when to shut up and when to talk. I like those people.
 
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I've only got one friend down here at the moment who's an extravert (had others though! left em when I moved a while back), and I get along great with him, in short bursts. It's the same with my introvert friends bar one or two, I need my cooldown either way. With extraverts that experience is usually just more intense for me.
My extraverted friend can come off as a bit shallow at times, but I feel we just don't get the chance for those deeper 1-on-1 conversations I love so much, because we're too busy with other things while up I'm to being around other people.

EDIT: Thinking back, I'm almost sure of it. I had a friend I knew before I knew typology, but you don't need to know typology to know E/I in a lot of people, and he was definitely an extravert. I knew him for 6-7 years and I had some really nice, deep conversations with him. He really was a good person through and through, I wish we hadn't fallen out of contact (I'm beyond terrible at long-distance relationships). Point I'm trying to make here is, I think that everyone's got that capacity for those deep and meaningful conversations, it's just a matter of getting to that point and letting it happen with people.
 
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AUM said:
Mature and experienced extraverts are OK, they know when to shut up and when to talk. I like those people.
Click to expand...
[MENTION=678]AUM[/MENTION]
*Cough*

So uh... if I were in fact an extravert, would I fall under said category of "OK"?
 
insontis said:
[MENTION=678]AUM[/MENTION]
*Cough*

So uh... if I were in fact an extravert, would I fall under said category of "OK"?
Click to expand...

I would say so [MENTION=4093]insontis[/MENTION], the little time I've known you, you seem a very mature and cool guy. I wouldn't worry about it.
 
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I have some extroverted work mates, the main thing that gets on my nerves is the constant chatter, they don't ever just be still, and its always chatter about rubbish, just talking for talkings sake. Why some people cant just be quiet and be happy with that il never know. I also find they like the centre of attention weather its good or bad, but these are young extroverts, I dont really know any mature ones.
 
Extrovert doesn't mean that you're always over the top, energetic, or well... extraverted. It's how you use your dominant function. ExxPs will mostly be interested in new things and new experiences, ExxJs will seek to use the world around them more. As such you'll find that extroverts can be extremely interesting people that will take a lot of "unwrapping" simply because they're motivated to try out new things. As an example most people will know me as a video games enthusiast, though very few people are aware that I know archery, kayaking and how to ride a horse properly.
 
I don't have anything particularly nice to say about extroverts.
 
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So, people, I like extroverts if I like them as persons. Some of them give me good feeling, the way they can energize you..
Besides, I don't like stereotypes...there is some introverst that are annoying:)
 
my point is: telling "I don't like Es" is as if I would say: I don't like people with blue eyes...
 
Cryo Soul said:
Forgive me for sounding judgemental but this is just MY EXPEREINCE....I figure this is the best way for procuring an feasibly HONEST response from extroverts because they are so shallow, that they could have any number of reasons for witholding information from you, because of their often societially reinforced non-comittal attitude.

Alright I've just gotta say it; Extroverts are TOO EASY!! It's like the cocept of "Opaqueness" or "Duality" doesn't exist or is percievable to them for the most part....I can't speak for every INFJ I know, but I'll speak for myself and say that, I'm a "Goody Bag" of a little bit of everything to EVERYBODY!! lol Simply put, I'm Hot, and Cold, I'm Up, and Down for whatever.....extroverts expect to damn much....now having all that personaltiy going, how can I possibly give that to you in a single sitting? I could take you "over the hills and through MY neck of the woods" but would you really appreciate/handle it? Probably, or probably not; fact is over the course of a relationship an introverts personality unfolds, and the extrovert is all dryed up because they burnt themselves out on the first date! I mean....ugh....I don't know WHAT I mean....I'm just tired of the bore with all these people who show me flashes of a personality but then are lost for words upon meeting them....it's just rough being an introvert and people calling you a "liar" when you possess contrary personality traits....I can't help that I'm a pro at seeing both sides of a situation, but I know where I alone STAND, and that can cause friction with an extrovert....they just do do opposites....

I've said my piece, and I'd like to hear YOURS :) I'd like to know how most extroverts deal with an introvert over the course of a relationship, ESPECIALLY with INFJs....what do you appreciate, what could you do without?
Click to expand...

First off, INFJ and type 8 enneagram? WHAT?


Second, I think you're referring to oblivious ESXPs, (no offence Chaz) so lets not lump all the extraverts in there.
 
Jana said:
my point is: telling "I don't like Es" is as if I would say: I don't like people with blue eyes...
Click to expand...

Apples =/= Oranges

I have yet to have blue eyes continual get in my personal space and demand I agree with them on everything. However, perhaps you have met some very interesting blue eyes. Tell us more!
 
InvisibleJim said:
Apples =/= Oranges

I have yet to have blue eyes continual get in my personal space and demand I agree with them on everything. However, perhaps you have met some very interesting blue eyes. Tell us more!
Click to expand...

the fuck is wrong with you.
 
Hey! My wife's an extrovert... and I married her. So watch what you say about all extroverts!
 
saru said:
the fuck is wrong with you.
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Nothing at all actually. Would you like to provide a more rounded question? I'm always open to answering direct questions in a direct and honest way.

Lerxst said:
Hey! My wife's an extrovert... and I married her. So watch what you say about all extroverts!
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I like some extroverts. I like some introverts. Generally I am indifferent to introverts. Generally I dislike extroverts. I generally dislike extroverts more frequently than introverts. My deep relationships in life have always been with extroverts, however my friendships are shockingly in favour of introverts.
 
InvisibleJim said:
Apples =/= Oranges

I have yet to have blue eyes continual get in my personal space and demand I agree with them on everything. However, perhaps you have met some very interesting blue eyes. Tell us more!
Click to expand...

So, I don't generalize, but important extroverts in my life:
- helped me to understand value of socialzing
- gave me will to be more open and more energetic than I am
- make me laugh
- fascinate me because they are sometimes just adorable in "I am ok with my skin" attitude
- helped me to become more aware of value of touches
 
EXXJs often give me the message : what the fuck is wrong with you?

Actually I'm sick to death with it... had a bad day...:m192:
 
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