Ginny
Shrrg
- MBTI
- INFJ IEI
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/sp
I have been thinking about a lot of ways to start this thread. In a way, even the way I'm starting it right now was calculated, but it probably will change form as I go along, like it always does. What it would involve (and cost) I knew since I thought of the issue, and therefore considered to put it in my private blog, but it doesn't reach as many people as it would in an open thread. Because I need to know, and would like as much input as possible.
The question is this: When you look into the eyes of the person that loves you (and preferably the person that you love back), what do you see? Or if you aren't in a relationship, what would you like to see? Would you, or could you, try to attribute it to a cognitive function? (There is no need for the latter though, just a weird sociological interest.)
I know that every person loves differently, but there is also a way that a person wants to be loved. The last part was one of the things that ended my relationship. I knew that he loved me, but I found the way he was looking at me unsettling and uncomfortable. I didn't know why, but now I have a theory, which I wish to test with your help.
Of course he didn't always have this look in his eyes, and also didn't use words when he looked at me this way, but then again, does someone ever really need words to say "I love you"?
When he had that look, it seemed like he saw me as a small miracle, that it was an honour to have me by his side and a little sadness at the thought of parting behind it. There was this sense of nurture, but without wanting change, like I was a flower that he wished to preserve with his gaze. If I had to attribute an element to it, it would most likely be earth.* There was also this small smile, which was just pure happiness.
There was nothing wrong with the first part, and this is also the part that I regret the most to have left behind, but that second part, this preserving and stationary feeling, was the part that I found so uncomfortable, while the happiness and the simplicity of his emotion was unsettling. I believe that it represented Si, as I have observed a similar look in my mother's eyes a few times, with the exception that her nurture isn't preserving, but it enjoys the moment, and doesn't care about keeping it the way it is, but trusts that it is fine and will be fine. And that's why I think it is Ne.
In essence, my theory is that for the most part the expression is predominantly representing the lower perceiving function. However, as I suspect the two of them being on the same judging axis, I can't say with any certainty that it is not both axes that influence the way we express love.
*OK, I have just decided to add another dimension to this thing, so bear with me for any noticeable changes within the text.
The question is this: When you look into the eyes of the person that loves you (and preferably the person that you love back), what do you see? Or if you aren't in a relationship, what would you like to see? Would you, or could you, try to attribute it to a cognitive function? (There is no need for the latter though, just a weird sociological interest.)
I know that every person loves differently, but there is also a way that a person wants to be loved. The last part was one of the things that ended my relationship. I knew that he loved me, but I found the way he was looking at me unsettling and uncomfortable. I didn't know why, but now I have a theory, which I wish to test with your help.
Of course he didn't always have this look in his eyes, and also didn't use words when he looked at me this way, but then again, does someone ever really need words to say "I love you"?
When he had that look, it seemed like he saw me as a small miracle, that it was an honour to have me by his side and a little sadness at the thought of parting behind it. There was this sense of nurture, but without wanting change, like I was a flower that he wished to preserve with his gaze. If I had to attribute an element to it, it would most likely be earth.* There was also this small smile, which was just pure happiness.
There was nothing wrong with the first part, and this is also the part that I regret the most to have left behind, but that second part, this preserving and stationary feeling, was the part that I found so uncomfortable, while the happiness and the simplicity of his emotion was unsettling. I believe that it represented Si, as I have observed a similar look in my mother's eyes a few times, with the exception that her nurture isn't preserving, but it enjoys the moment, and doesn't care about keeping it the way it is, but trusts that it is fine and will be fine. And that's why I think it is Ne.
In essence, my theory is that for the most part the expression is predominantly representing the lower perceiving function. However, as I suspect the two of them being on the same judging axis, I can't say with any certainty that it is not both axes that influence the way we express love.
*OK, I have just decided to add another dimension to this thing, so bear with me for any noticeable changes within the text.