Explain Patience for Me | INFJ Forum

Explain Patience for Me


Retired Staff
Sep 22, 2009
I have been told I am one of the most patient people before, I have also realized that I am incredibly impatient in lieu of certain circumstances.

Would you say there are different levels or types of patience?
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Certainly there are different levels of patience. It's too trite to say it, but it is about waiting (duh). What are we waiting for? Progress, an outcome, a conclusion, a phone call, a check, a reasonable reply, or just movement in the check-out line. There is a James Taylor song with a great line about patience..."the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time". Isn't time all we really have anyway? Why should we allow outside events ruin our mood or our day? To quote another line from a song, this time by Styx, "Relax, take it easy". Then, there's "Take it Easy", by The Eagles..."Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy, we may lose we may win, but we will never be here again, look out, I'm comin' in, so take it easy" Enough lyrics for now, hehe.
I think in interpersonal matters I am very patient (uncharacteristic of INTP) Although I am not always so patient with those I am perfectly comfortable around.

I am also impatient with random interjections, if I am in a certain frame of thought, I really dislike being interrupted.

I think my patience has to do a lot with where my interests lie. I am always interested in gaining better social etiquette and understanding interpersonal relations, which would show why I am more patient with people I don't know rather than when I am in a 'safe' environment.

I always thought that was ironic about myself, being nicer to those I don't know rather than those I deem to be safe, and should be the most valuable to me. I suppose we show our affections in different ways, but then again, there is probably some priority shifts I should make for a more successful demeanor.
Patience is when you're willing to allow yourself to be bothered.
Patience is when you're willing to allow yourself to be bothered.

In that case I have pretty shitty patience.
I just can't right now. Don't have the time or the desire to. And frankly, it's kind of rude for you to ask!

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Sorry, I'm in a hurry. Got to go.

Kidding, hehe.

Anyway, patience basically means tolerating inconvenience without getting snippy. Taking the time to listen to others and consider their feelings.

At the core of patience is consideration for others, putting your own needs second. At the core of impatience is selfishness, putting your own needs first.

Let me provide you a few examples.

Imagine that you're standing in line to return a product. The line is moving at a slow pace (even though it's not very long), and it takes you two hours to get to the front of the line, because one customer is taking forever to go through the return procedure, due to poor English skills. On top of this, you have something scheduled in about two and half hours, which will take you ten minutes to reach.

If you're truly patient, you'll be understanding about the situation, wait as long as it takes without getting upset, maybe call and tell others about the potential delay. You'll also show the same courtesy once you reach the desk as you would have had you not had to wait for two hours.

If you're sort of patient, you'll stare at your watch and tap your foot while in line. Then, once you reach the desk, you'll try to rush your return in a slightly agitated voice.

If you're not patient, you'll wait for about an hour, tapping your foot and staring at your watch all the way. You'll offer to pay the people in front of you for their spot in the line, which they'll decline. You'll get frustrated, and decide to return when they're not as busy.

Now, suppose someone who looks up to you comes to you with a problem. You're sort of busy, but what you have to do could wait.

If you're patient, you'll offer to listen to their problem for as long as it takes them, and give them carefully considered advice.

If you're somewhat patient, you'll say, "Make it quick," and try to guess what's going on with them, finishing sentences and asking pointed questions to fill in the blanks in your assumptions. Then, you'll give them the first advice that comes to mind, and hurry back to what you were doing.

If you're not at all patient, you'll just say, "I'm busy. Sorry."

Now, there are several factors that could affect patience, only some of which are internal. Here they are:

1. Disposition. Whether a person is inclined to wait on people, be considerate, or generous with their time.

2. Flexibility. The more important it is to get something done at a particular time, and the greater the negative consequences for failing to do it, the less patient you'll be, regardless of your disposition.

3. Frustration. Temporary frustration can make people less patient than their general disposition would indicate.
I'll bet the people telling you that you are patient are J's. Strong J's want closure quickly - you, being a Perceiver probably don't mind open ended situations. I'll bet you are being called patient in respect of things others are impatient about.

On the other hand, being a perceiver, your true patience would probably be marked by an ability to tollerate definite, closed decisions/situations - resisting the impulse to 'break out' when feeling trapped.
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Patience has something to do with bad or good experiences and knowing the outcome of such things. It is a smart move to an experienced mind.
Wisdom tells us when to use it and when not to.
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patience to me is when you're willing to wait, and not jump to conclusions or rash decisions. a patient person is usually a good listener.