Ex not blocking my number | Page 14 | INFJ Forum

Ex not blocking my number

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Skrimpshidy, Jun 15, 2019.

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  1. OP
    Skrimpshidy

    Skrimpshidy Community Member

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    Update!

    The one who was doing wrong behind my back made things right. Confessed to everyone and apologized!

    Weather she comes back eventually or not.....Well, that’s another whole issue we’ve talked about.

    I’m proud of this guy owning his betrayal and setting it straight. It had to be seriously hard and embarrassing. I don’t want him to feel that way.

    Regardless, it feels better and our friendship meant enough to him for him to be brave and not run away from this.
     
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  2. dwr46y

    dwr46y Well-known weirdo

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    It's always a good feeling when someone owns up to their wrong-doing. Reminds you that not all people are completely controlled by their selfish programming.
     
  3. Freaky Chameleon

    Site Supporter

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    I'm glad this relationship has worked out. My intuition was telling me that he felt as bad about all this as you did and that if given a chance he would confess and apologize for everything. This makes me feel good to know that there are people in this world that will make things right by owning up to their mistakes.

    Thanks for sharing. :)
     
  4. sassafras

    sassafras Well-known monster
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    I echo what everyone else has said here. Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes people make dire mistakes. While there's no guarantee that you'll be forgiven or that there won't be consequences, it does take courage to own up to our errors. Good on him. I hope he continues to grow. And I hope that this is another step on your healing journey.
     
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  5. OP
    Skrimpshidy

    Skrimpshidy Community Member

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    Just want to add. I completely forgive him. I promised I would and never bring it up again.
     
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  6. OP
    Skrimpshidy

    Skrimpshidy Community Member

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    I stopped dressing the part around 24. That’s also when I quit skating. Had kids, job, etc. Typical suburbia nightmare. No wonder I started drinking. Funny I can correlate the exact year I started drinking is the same year I gave up the very thing and lifestyle that was such a huge part of my life.
     
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  7. SpecialEdition

    SpecialEdition Well-known member

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    This sounds like a fucking nightmare where neither of you have the balls to say enough is enough and let it go.

    Sorry, but this is absurd. If she says she's blocking you why are you even bothering to message her to check if your messages are going through? WHY are you trying to figure out why she's doing X, Y and Z instead of just being like, ok, this relationship is done and I don't need to be checking for any cracks in the foundation to see if we can weasel our way back through to each other only to break up again and go through this whole fucking circus again!

    The question is not why do you think she won't tell you to just let her go. It's why in the world are you bothering to play games instead of just coming to terms with it being done? Why is it you can't respect that she said she was blocking you and just let it be instead of still messaging her? Why is it that you can't just say to yourself look, if she wants to reconcile she will reach out when she feels she wants to talk about it?

    I mean... Come on. Sorry but this is toxic. This "old relationship" is dead as you've said. This isn't like shedding skin on a snake and starting over fresh where you're both new and better people and suddenly you're compatible again.
     
  8. OP
    Skrimpshidy

    Skrimpshidy Community Member

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    I appreciate your response. Ther have been other revelations.

    Honestly, you will see.

    Call me crazy or whatever.

    I appreciate the response. Thank you.
     
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  9. dwr46y

    dwr46y Well-known weirdo

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    [​IMG]
     
  10. Hostarius

    Hostarius Level 10 Cynical Optimist

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    Nah, it's not absurd.

    Dude's been in love. Dude acted like a human being. Dude has already had the sober analysis and knows what to do. Dude does not need to be told that he doesn't have 'the balls' or is acting in a manner that is unacceptably unusual ('absurd').

    There's a place for 'tough love', sure, but in my opinion you're doing it wrong, lol.
     
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  11. SpecialEdition

    SpecialEdition Well-known member

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    The intention isn't to be cruel or deliver tough love. I wish someone had slapped a significant amount of sense into me when I was going through something very similar to this. Unfortunately I think people offering kind and supportive responses doesn't always help.

    Being forced to really examine what I was doing and why would have saved me a lot of trouble. My approach may or may not be ideal but the OP is welcome to tell me to fuck off their thread and I'd respect that.
     
  12. Hostarius

    Hostarius Level 10 Cynical Optimist

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    Oh I don't disagree, I just think that when delivering these kind of truths we ought to be careful about making statements which seem to attack long-term self-esteem and aren't strictly about the situation at hand.

    I wouldn't ask you to tone it down, either, as I think these things benefit from a variety of perspectives.
     
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  13. SpecialEdition

    SpecialEdition Well-known member

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    I know I have a certain "style" of presenting my opinions. I do this because I had an INTJ use this approach on me once and it was a pivotal point in my life that actually changed it for the better.

    It was painful to receive not because of what he said but because it lead me to a brutal self examination that I may have continued to avoid. Some people had seen me going through this particular situation and not one person was willing to be that direct with me including myself.

    It's a risk being so blunt. I know it but I do it to offer a perspective that some people aren't willing to give. It doesn't always go over well but sometimes it's the thing to make a difference. Not always, but sometimes.

    I'm not here to damage anyone and I don't even assume that I'm right. It's an invitation to consider what I said and if I'm wrong then that's ok too and I will take that on.
     
  14. ClevelandINTP

    ClevelandINTP Permanent Fixture

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    Really though you got to leave these people alone and don’t care and do you
     
  15. OP
    Skrimpshidy

    Skrimpshidy Community Member

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  16. MINFJToothFairy

    MINFJToothFairy Gardener of teeth, human teeth.

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    I believe having a future rests squarely on whether or not both of you still want to work on it. It is given that you still do, but rest and ask if she feels the same regardless of circumstance. Give her a little time to work things out on her own. Don't worry about the communication barriers. Have faith that when she finds herself capable and if she still finds it necessary, she will reach out to you. :)

    Love makes us do foolish things.

    "You give love a bad name."


    Very nuanced and sensitive. *Thumbs up

    Maybe it's not how much we've given in the past or not how much we've been through together, but perhaps whether or not it is right or healthier to keep working on carrying it into the future. :)

    Letting go is never easy. I can attest to this but sometimes it helps to accept that moving on and letting go is not only the kindest thing you can do for yourself but also for her.

    A thread can continue for as long as hearts need to grieve. This is the one place we can air out our grievances without a single care whether or not we're being dumb. Let's just flood it with dark humor to aid in the forgetting process. ;)

    We do what we have to do. Regretting it is pointless. Just hang in there :)
     
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    #276 MINFJToothFairy, Jul 8, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2019
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  17. OP
    Skrimpshidy

    Skrimpshidy Community Member

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    Wow!!!! Thank you
     
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  18. SpecialEdition

    SpecialEdition Well-known member

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    I'm glad you came to a resolution and you've closed the door! That's liberation and you can be free!
     
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  19. ClevelandINTP

    ClevelandINTP Permanent Fixture

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    Where’s this thread been all my life
     
  20. Angelica Jesslan

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    Maybe she developed some BPD or AvPD traits who knows
     
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