Emotional abuse I frequently ponder. Hm.
I think the contrary is the case. After individuation a proficient abuser can destroys an already established reality framework, leaving behind little more than a dysfunctional wreck. Before there are raw materials much easier to access which can be used transform all experiences into a cohesive and workable framework of perception and cognition. The experience becomes part of the core personality then, and that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Most people growing up like Ted Bundy do not become Ted Bundy. The abused, most often, does not become an abuser. I see it almost like an immunization. An awareness where others without prior experience have none. Defenses where others have none. The materials of experience and growth are there. It depends on the individual what they make of it as they grow into maturity.
At some point, and I think this would be much easier after rather than before individuation, growth can stop, and can be stopped, in others. Then you can point at what drives it. What motivations, what needs, what memories, associations. Undermine, question, make them the enemy or cut them away entirely. Crush under foot. And without growth, without drive, there is no healing. Just being broken, stationary. Kind of makes me appreciate puberty a lot more. Natures forced biological growth spurt, in more than in one sense.
Heh, natures really annoying healing spell.
You also have to consider that most people don't have the ability to easily observe and fiddle around with their inner workings, that most people are cut off from the pieces that actually make them tick. They'll pay attention to the hand doing the magic trick unaware of the other hand that digs its fingers into their brain.
Infjs, I would wager, are A LOT more aware about how they are affected by something internally than most other types.
Did you experience emotional abuse as a child, or are you simply exploring the topic theoretically? I will say, as someone who experienced chronic emotional abuse as a child, I think you minimize the consequences and idealize the strengths of emotional abuse prior to individuation.
I do not think that emotional abuse after individuation is any less destructive, but I do believe it could be a very different experience--which I sense you agree with. My sense is that perhaps you have more personal familiarity with the traumatic effects of emotional abuse in someone after individuation and so your preference is toward the destructiveness of it at this point. Yet I think you grossly misjudge the reactive abilities of an abused child prior to individuation and have little to no concept of how misshapen and non-functional a psychological framework built out of childhood abuse actually can be. All experiences would have differences, yet the sort of psychological heroism you describe, allowing the child to identify abuse and re-frame it healthily, would not be typical, based on my own experience, the experience as shared with me by others, and on my understanding of research on the topic. I don't disagree that abuse prior to individuation is often the source of creation of some sort of protective ego armor carried in adulthood, but again, I think you grossly misunderstand this defensive mechanism's future health and functionality. It's like a cancer has invaded a normal immune function and made it overactive. It can develop to see threat in everything. As this defensive mechanism attacks everything external and within, it leaves nothing untouched with which to stably function in the world. There is no solid sense of self absent the gaping holes of doubt created by constant ongoing internalized attack. Everything becomes tainted with doubt and insecurity. Everything is threatening. Even yourself. Especially yourself.
I understand the original question because I seem a type 6. Perhaps I even am. Yet, would I have been?
I seem an infj and use an Fe style of decision making. Yet is that because my childhood abuse prevented me from forming a stable sense of self that I could rely on for decision-making and so I only feel safe in a decision when I receive external sources of confirmation? Chicken and egg perhaps. Maybe I am an infj, and so the particular manifestation of my misshapen sense of self is that my natural Fe decision making style became warped and overactive. On the other hand, maybe I identify with infj MBTI type because my abused sense of self believes it can't be trusted and so turned to a decision making style that has similarities with a healthy Fe style, but absent the abuse I would have developed very differently. Who knows? I accept that this is my reality. What more can I do, really?
Also, as mentioned, while not every abused child becomes an abuser, it is a common factor among abusive parents. Given this, the long-term effects of emotional abuse prior to individuation cannot be dismissed simply because many abused children do not become abusive as adults. I suspect most children who were abused have that abuse as a factor in their social and familial interaction style to some degree or another, whether it is a re-enactment of those abusive engagement styles, a phobic avoidance of those engagement styles, or some mingling of the two. Either way, I suspect it is likely a significant factor in the adult presentation of most abused children.
In general, I think you lack understanding of what the experience of having been emotionally abused as a child involves, both in the childhood experience, and in the lingering effects on the adult self. If you were abused as a child, and you were describing your own childhood experience, then I will simply say, our experience was very different.
