Empathy burn-out & attachment | INFJ Forum

Empathy burn-out & attachment

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Aug 17, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    Do you experience empathy burn-out?




    How you deal and recover?


    How does your level of empathy affect your attachments to people?


    Can you relate to the following quote in any way?

    Do you struggle to end relationships or emotional attachments as a result?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Aug 17, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2010
  2. Tulip

    Tulip Community Member

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    I do not tend to form emotional bond with people easily. Feeling what people feel can be overwhelming for me. Keeping a distance helps.

    I have difficulty ending relationships.
    Breaking of emotional attachments can be devastating to me.
    It can take me a very long time to get over it.
    But I don't think it has anything to do with the level of empathy.

    :smow:
     
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  3. dark_angel

    dark_angel Community Member

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    I used to experience empathy burn out but have since leant to hold myself back from trying to let people know how much I understand and relate to them. It drains you, overwhelms you and feeds into their need to need you and not help themselves.

    I now watch from the sidelines while holding myself back and only when my gut screams at me do I step forward and empathise to the point of making myself vulnerable.
     
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  4. 894tt3h9

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    Do you experience empathy burn-out?
    Yes I do. All the time.

    How you deal and recover?
    I feel that the only way I can recover is to take a LOT of time by myself where I do a whole lot of nothing. It takes me a while to recover from feeling emotionally and physically drained. But sometimes I find going for walks around my neighbourhood alone or even walking up and down the aisles in a store just for the sake of it helps me to recollect some energy. But the biggest thing is doing things that require very little thought, feeling or action.

    How does your level of empathy affect your attachments to people?
    It depends on the person and what I'm empathizing with.

    Can you relate to the following quote in any way?
    Yes I can. A lot of times I will empathize and the feelings that come with it are so strong that I can't help but feel connected to that person. The other person usually doesn't have a clue so it kind of makes it impossible for that connection to last.

    Quote:
    Empathy also makes it easy to form attachments to people very quickly and makes it difficult to let go of those attachments as well. It's almost a feeling of being bonded to someone, even though you may not know them well or haven't known them long.
    Do you struggle to end relationships or emotional attachments as a result?
    Absolutely. Some people are hard to cut out, others are easy. But there have been a few that have been near impossible.
     
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  5. OP
    Gaze

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    Yeah, it's surprising how pacing along an empty hall at work, or an empty aisle in a store can clear things up. That's why i like going to the store in the evening or night when not many people are around.
     
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    #5 Gaze, Aug 23, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2010
  6. 894tt3h9

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    Me too. I can't stand it when it's too busy. I just like to browse freely. Aftewards I feel like such a weight has been lifted.
     
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  7. tine

    tine Regular Poster

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    (Sorry for replying in the quote, haha)
     
  8. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    Yes, after the past 4+ years of (primarily) irl and internet socializing especially, I've come to know that most people don't deserve it, most don't appreciate it and some even throw it back in your face saying that it is a sign of personal weakness and weakness of character. So I don't really bother too terribly much now, and when I feel it comming on I tend to squelch it unless I know the receiver isn't a bastard. If I find out after the fact that a presumed non-bastard is a bastard, it's doorslam time.

    I guess you could say I am chronically empathy burnt out.
    It usually takes outside forces to bring it out of me and start to rebuild it. I however try to monitor it to prevent it getting too starry-eyed over people.
    Believe it or not I can still get attached to people both easily and closely. The bond does not disintegrate unless the person is shown to be a crouching tiger hidden bastard. I usually suspect someone of being a bastard in hiding though for a good long time before I let myself go, but I'm attached long before that point, regardless.
    Unfortunately I do relate to that quote. I try and not let that happen anymore, as I already have the most vital position in my life filled, so I can feel free to vet people for years before I let them in. Still happens though, even when I know the person is an asshole waiting to troll me.
    Only if its just about drifting away and the person hasn't done anything. I doorslam people who have betrayed my caring with lightning speed and equal amounts of ferocity.
     
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