Does normal exist?

[Lavendel]

What is normal? Seriously, I have no idea. Apparently I have never been normal, although I have tried to fake it. Now that I know by fact there is nothing normal about me, I want to understand what exactly "the world" picture as abnormal and normal. What exactly is INFJ behaviour, what is behaviour that originates from experience and societies norms, and what would be seen as coconut-crazy? Do you think normal actually exists? Is normal arbitrary and differs from culture to culture? Also, does abnormality exist?

Okey, this got a bit confused, I guess I am wondering what you think the world pictures as normal and abnormal, and what your thoughts are on these classifications.

 

[anarkandi]

From what I keep seeing in all INFJs is this question, or a similar one, being genuine, being yourself. I think they are the same questions usually, and I think normal in itself is superficial and fake. INFJs always have this great depth, which we don't always find in others, and it makes us think we're not normal. We're feely, and others don't feel as much as us, which makes us think we're not normal. We're able to detach from our feelings thanks to our secondary Fe and Ti/Se if they are developed making us put up roles to get along and discuss with any other group, but never really blending in with them.

I tried to answer the question before, but I've basically given up on normal and not, I just want to have cool people around me that I can relate to. When I strive for normal I always end up with these fake people who basically manipulate you, and you just end up getting depressed and feeling like there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you, you're just a person who has needs just like everyone else, and you need to be true to them. As an INFJ it's easy to get hurt and then, it's easy to make the decision, to give into the fear of being hurt, thinking yeah, I deserve this, it's my own fault. This is the wrong answer. We should be ready to get hurt anytime, and not give into the fear of being hurt. We should always strive to be ourselves, we shouldn't be afraid of it.

 

[Peppermint]

Normal is the usual, the average, what is not normal stands out from that standard.
In some other contexts, normal is what is good, although that is also a subject to definition.

"Abnormality" exists because we are able to perceive differences, namely difference between what we are used to and hence consider the standard, and things which aren't that way.

I think as a general rule, normal is situational, and as you said environment dependent. Normal is the status quo in a given place. But for some people, dare I say the majority, this normal is a desirable state of being.

 

[Sriracha]

Normal is patterned behavior in society. What a boring society it would be if everyone chose that pattern.

 

[Lavendel]

From what I keep seeing in all INFJs is this question, or a similar one, being genuine, being yourself. I think they are the same questions usually, and I think normal in itself is superficial and fake. INFJs always have this great depth, which we don't always find in others, and it makes us think we're not normal. We're feely, and others don't feel as much as us, which makes us think we're not normal. We're able to detach from our feelings thanks to our secondary Fe and Ti/Se if they are developed making us put up roles to get along and discuss with any other group, but never really blending in with them.

I tried to answer the question before, but I've basically given up on normal and not, I just want to have cool people around me that I can relate to. When I strive for normal I always end up with these fake people who basically manipulate you, and you just end up getting depressed and feeling like there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you, you're just a person who has needs just like everyone else, and you need to be true to them. As an INFJ it's easy to get hurt and then, it's easy to make the decision, to give into the fear of being hurt, thinking yeah, I deserve this, it's my own fault. This is the wrong answer. We should be ready to get hurt anytime, and not give into the fear of being hurt. We should always strive to be ourselves, we shouldn't be afraid of it.

These are really comforting words. Somehow I feel as if it was easier to be "yourself" and different as a teenager. It was with pride I came to school in strange clothes, ans listened to The Ark who wrote songs about having the courage to be different. I thought ones confidence would grow with age.

Normal is the usual, the average, what is not normal stands out from that standard.
In some other contexts, normal is what is good, although that is also a subject to definition.

"Abnormality" exists because we are able to perceive differences, namely difference between what we are used to and hence consider the standard, and things which aren't that way.

I think as a general rule, normal is situational, and as you said environment dependent. Normal is the status quo in a given place. But for some people, dare I say the majority, this normal is a desirable state of being.

The reason that I ask these questions is because it Does seem to me as if "normal" differs from place to place. And I wonder if maybe Sweden is even more closed minded than the US for example, when it comes to thinking in terms of normal and abnormal. But also when it comes to the necessity of categorization. I was really surprised to see that even the psychiatrists think in those terms, and the one I last had experience from was telling me over and over how different I was. And the evaluations was about "normal" and "abnormal". He showed me one of my results wich looked like a type of diagram, and for a normal person, (and also for a less normal person) this diagram would look like an octagon. But in my case it had a completely different form, like a spiky nebula. He reacted towards this, and obviously I was nothing like normal. This partially had to do with the questions I was asked wich were really strange and also very concentrated on "normal". There was questions like: "Do you have a normal or unnormal sex life?" I asked what an unnormal sex life would be, and he explained that an unnormal sex life would be if I had frequent sex with random strangers or had sexual intercourse with animals...
This man really messed up my perspective on "normal" because I have thought that people simply are different, and that we all are somewhat insane with different hang ups, phobias or eccentric dispositions. I simply had to articulate these thoughts and to gain some perspective, other than this idiotic and narrow minded old man.

 

[Don Leo]

Oh I can write on for -days- about this.

There is no such thing as normal... well there is. But it's a local concept. It can be very very local.
Normal to one person isn't the same as it is to someone else.
Even in MBTI. I think it is quite normal to think things through and give a good answer I can get behind while someone else thinks it is ok to guess. I know people who think it is very very normal to gossip about others. They tell me it is normal. I don't think that's very nice. I guess it is "normal" in a sense, but because I don't do it, does that mean I'm abnormal? I know many more who don't gossip, who think it is bad taste. I simply fail to see the point.

I have a lot of entries on "normal" in my log. Basically, there is none, and there is nothing to worry about. It's an illusion. It's what people think someone or something should be.
Like in some areas, it is normal to eat glass to get rid of evil spirits. It used to be quite the norm to discriminate against other people. Did you know it used to be normal to sacrifice people to some invisible guy in the sky?
Many nazi executioners went home to their normal families at the end of the day, had a normal dinner with their kids, slept in a normal bed (no race car beds ) got up at a normal hour and then went to torture some people they detested.


When I see people look at other people and I see disgust or "please don't let that person near me" in their eyes, I can't help but smirk. I like observing people. I like listening in... I do it automatically, not on purpose. Especially in a school or work context. Go sit in the cafeteria. Hear one table gossip about another table, then go sit somewhere else, hear the same thing in reverse. It is quite amusing.


Normal is an illusion.

What is an illusion?
My definition is something like this:
There is a fact, and there is an illusion.
What you see is never 100% fact, it is always at least 1% illusion.

You see an apple. It looks like an apple, tastes like an apple, smells like one etc. Fact is, it's an apple. But do you know all about this apple? Where was it 2 days ago? You don't know that, usually. Who touched it? Do you know what kind of apple? There are many kinds of apples. Heck, it could be a deformed pear!
Apple is a bit extreme as an example. But take another human instead.
You can't know everything about that other person. You can maybe know 99.99% but a full 100%?
"Oh I know that guy", do you really?
Look at your cat.. do you really know your cat?

Same thing with normal.
What's normal? You sure that's normal? Maybe your normal is different from my normal.
A girl, 15, is it normal for her to be sexually active? If you ask her, and all of her friends, hell yeah it's normal. Ask me, I can find you 50 other people, who say nope, not normal.


I collect fountain pens.
"What normal person in their right mind would pay 300 euros for a PEN?"
I would o.o

 

[Blackmountainside]

'normal' is a social construct; a fluid term which varies according to time and culture.
in saying that, i suppose there are many people who fit within the boundaries of what is considered normal. abnormal carries a lot of negative connotations. it's probably on a spectrum. ranging from those who do not identify with mainstream society to people who display anti-social behaviours.

 

[Lex Orandi]

Normal is doing whatever makes you feel tranquil on the inside.

 

[PeaceSeeker]

I think "normal" does exist .... but only as an illusion. If you let others decide what normal is, then the above graph applies to pretty much everything you do in your life. If you don't give a crap what others think then you can flush the normal graph down the toilet and be free

 

[Nixie]

Normal is activity considered within the parameters of what has been deemed "socially acceptable". The idea of what is normal evolves as society evolves.

I saw on msnbc an article about inter-racial marriage and how it is becoming more accepted and commonplace. Dating and marrying outside your identifiable "race" wasn't always considered normal (as in acceptable) but now that has changed.

Now, I also saw a show about strange addictions where some guy claimed he loved his car (named it Chase) and had a sexual relationship with it. Now is that normal?

Normal is a perception. We can delude ourselves into thinking that we should be and do anything we want but there will always be prohibitions toward behaviors/actions based on the social contract. Again, it is finding that balance between individualism and socialism--I prefer to think of it as tribalism. Respect and responsbility for yourself and duty toward your community.

 

[whytiger]

It is normal to be unique.