[INFJ] Does my INFJ guy friend like me or not?

Wow. That’s really confusing. I’d say he likes you. I’d be just as nervous as you, bringing it up again. I don’t know. Do you need to know how he feels or are you okay just enjoying your own feelings and seeing what happens with his?

I’d let him come to you. I’d also seduce him during all this as well obv!

 

So confusing. Somewhat mixed signals. I guess he said he appreciated the friendship so you have to take him at his word for now, just wait and see and enjoy the friendship.

Is he trying to sleep with you? It doesn’t appear he’s trying to use you from the info you’ve given. It doesn’t seem all that risky to see what develops...

Sorry I can’t give better insight. Xx

Maybe someone else can chime in

 

Sounds like he doesn't know what the hell he wants but he's still jealous of you potentially getting close to other guys. I mean, you were pretty straightforward with him about how you felt and all he had to say was that he was "caught off guard" and he appreciates the friendship? Meh, very noncommittal response. Up to you if you want to press him or wait, but that would be a red flag to me which would signal me to move on. If he really does like you he should quit being moody and passive / passive-aggressive about it and step up like you did.

 

Not sure. (Edit: though the "I still need to heal" statement you mentioned is somewhat telling). You may be right about the indecisiveness coming from the fact that you can have children, however I'm afraid of just uselessly encouraging your fears in reviewing these possibilities. I guess I just think that it's strange that he would give such minimal response when you've given him an introvert's dream in that you took the lead in admitting your feelings to him. I think you have a right to ask for an answer though, as far as whether or not he wants to be more than friends at some point.

Apologies, I realized that you're probably looking more for insight from an INFJ which I am not. It's also the end of the day where I live so I may be approaching this with far less compassion or awareness than the situation merits.

 

Oh, my mistake. So looking more closely at your initial post, my response may have been a bit hasty, and I think that @souvenir gave decent advice. It's been somewhat over a year and during part of that time each of you were in separate relationships. Overall that's not an incredibly long time.

 

Did you ask him if he likes you? That's the best way to know where you stand.

 

Not an INFJ, but I think despite the personality difference it might be useful to flip the scenario around. How long would it take you after a breakup to start feeling ready to date again?

 

Hmmm, I have guy friends and sometimes do things they might consider amorous when it wasn’t, on my end. (Though honestly, they seem to be reaching imho.) I’ve also had guy friends who I thought were amorous towards me and turned out they weren’t. Aaaah, the ambiguities of a male/female friendship. I think if you approach it with a sense of humor, life will be easier for the both of you.

I’m one of those people who believes in most instances, male/female one-on-one friendships share a certain degree of attraction, and that seems to be the case here with you. Whether that turns into something more...well, I think you have to wait and see. You’ve already told him how you feel. Maybe he’s testing out how he feels with you, so let him do that, unless it’s too hard for you in which case, just let him know that. I think he’d respect your feelings.

 

Why do you want to be with a guy who can be scared off by a question?

 

Hey, Pinkerbell. I happen to be a guy who would act like your friend. I'm INFJ, I struggle with loneliness, finding genuine people, and someone understanding. When I meet a girl who I can have real and deep meaningful communication with there is nothing like it. It's refreshing and calming, helps sort out a brain on the brink of crazy. But in those instances girls become close friends and loyalty and love kicks in. It's like I want them to stay just as my best friend because they help me more than they know but still get jealous when they talk to other guys (usually only jealous when I don't like the other guy, maybe it comes from fear of loosing the friendship, time, and closeness to another person). Our personal loyalty will also drive us to be the perfect gentleman for the very few friends us INFJ's actually have. Like, it is take a bullet for you literal loyalty. A lot of times it's taken as flirting but it's actually the way we show our closest friends that we value them. We value them so we take care of them. Love (or I should specify attraction) eventually comes along and things get flirty and playful at times but like I said before, no actual intent of going further, it's simply giving into the natural feelings that start to occur in the situation. It's what happens when two people get close and spend time together.
So I believe this guy is depending on you as someone he trusts enough to let you into his chaotic mind and help settle/calm it. It sounds like he values you a ton as his best friend, being a gentleman is just his way of expressing to you that you are appreciated. And ask him right out if he wants to stay in the position as friends you currently are. Keep flirting on low or love chemicals start to fly and then the hearts get hurt. I don't think he would leave you, he depends on you too much as a friend to easy his mind/lonliness.