Do you like talking about yourself and what's happening in your life? | INFJ Forum

Do you like talking about yourself and what's happening in your life?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Sep 6, 2010.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 2 users.
More threads by Gaze
  1. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,385
    Messages:
    28,113
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,666
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    For example, when someone asks how you're day's been, or what you've been doing lately, do you like talking about it?



    Do you like this as a way to keep in touch with people?



    If not, why do you dislike or not really care if someone asks you about what's been happening?



    Side note: For some reason, i always prefer asking someone what's happening than answering those questions myself.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. mooseman

    mooseman Local Claviger
    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2009
    Threads:
    18
    Messages:
    880
    Likes Received:
    105
    Trophy Points:
    175
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9-ish
    Exactly same for me. I have to think twice to remember that other people might feel the same and be interested in me. Therefore I try to talk about myself just to be polite, but it's kind of a strain. Except with close friends.
     
  3. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,385
    Messages:
    28,113
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,666
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Yeah, i usually think in terms of, if i have something to share i'll share it. And since most people ask mainly to be polite, there's always the feeling that they really don't want to know, so then i think, i'd prefer if they didn't ask. I'd rather talk about thoughts or ideas, or some subject unrelated to me. But what's interesting is that i seem to be part of the minority who feel this way. And honestly, my life is not that interesting :D, so i don't really want to give the impression that i have much to talk about. I'd rather answer questions about what i think than who or how i am.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. mooseman

    mooseman Local Claviger
    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2009
    Threads:
    18
    Messages:
    880
    Likes Received:
    105
    Trophy Points:
    175
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9-ish
    Well put. And another thing - I dislike when someone gets impressed by something I have done. I think the relationship gets distorted if that happens, so I tend to tone myself down.
     
  5. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,385
    Messages:
    28,113
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,666
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    EXACTLY! I immediately feel the pressure to maintain a particular image when someone is impressed by some achievement. I begin to feel as if i'm supposed to demonstrate my abilities rather than behave normally.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. kerrime

    kerrime Guest

    I do like talking about my day, if someone asks about it

    But I also like asking people that question. . . because to me, if they do tell me something other than the usual 'it was good', then I believe they are opening up more to me. . . sort of welcoming me into their personal life. . . I like it :m166x:
     
  7. deadred

    deadred Community Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2010
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    538
    Likes Received:
    61
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    At 57, I know myself very well. It kinda depends on who I am talking with as far as "how are you" type stuff is concerned. If someone I've known for a long time asks, I'll bring out the details, and that is usually a two way street. If it's a stranger, or someone I don't know well, it will be superficial and "social" in tone.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,385
    Messages:
    28,113
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,666
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Hmm . . . i agree that it can be a way to get to know someone when they open up about personal details of their lives. When someone is willing to share something personal, that they wouldn't usually share with someone else, it makes me feel good that they trusted me with that information, but when it's the other way around, i tend to feel as if someone is prying when they ask me too many personal details, begins to feel somewhat like an interrogation. And to be honest, knowing personal details about someone's life doesn't really mean you know them as well as you think.

    As selfish as it sounds, i'd rather someone get to know me on my own terms, i think this is because growing up, people had limited and superficial ways of getting to know someone whether it was how well you did or how good (character) you were, or whether or not you were doing what was expected, so i've taken the position at this point to not allow myself to be known through those aspects. Which is why i like communication online, because i think someone gets a better sense of my personality than those irl who're too often focused on what you do visibly or what you must show or prove to impress them.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #8 Gaze, Sep 6, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2010
  9. kerrime

    kerrime Guest

    I agree to this as well, but if it's something a person you've known for a long time hasn't said to you yet. . . there's a little bit of a victory in that. . I think. especially if they keep telling me about their day in the days that follow. . .

    from what i gather. . you don't really share your day with other people. . .
    would it mean that you trusted a person if you did share how your day went?
     
  10. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2010
    Threads:
    123
    Messages:
    7,301
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2,370
    Trophy Points:
    867
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Earth
    MBTI:
    IxTP
    Enneagram:
    human
    +1
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,385
    Messages:
    28,113
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,666
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    It's not that i don't share my day with other people, but it doesn't have the same value as someone sharing their day with me. And it wouldn't mean i trusted them any more or any less if i did, because if you and i are having a conversation and we have similar experiences, then i don't mind sharing them because we can at least relate to what the other is saying. But it doesn't really mean i've shared anything that someone else wouldn't if they were in the same situation.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Odyne

    Odyne ===========
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2009
    Threads:
    156
    Messages:
    6,073
    Featured Threads:
    7
    Likes Received:
    6,717
    Trophy Points:
    887
    MBTI:
    Enneagram:
    If it's people I am not close with, I don't mind it as long as it remains conversational and not too many personal questions that feel like an interrogation. I am a very private person, and I will not get into the details of my life. (Also, my life is complicated and I'd rather not explain it to every single person I meet, because there's a possibility they won't able to relate or understand what I am talking about)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,385
    Messages:
    28,113
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,666
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Agree. I don't think people should be expected to share personal details of their lives unless it's necessary or they really care to.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Odyne likes this.
  14. Norwich

    Norwich insistent
    Donor

    Joined:
    May 20, 2010
    Threads:
    10
    Messages:
    742
    Likes Received:
    169
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    2 so/sp/sx
    I don't enjoy talking about myself that much. As a result I often find myself surrounded by people that can't stop talking about themselves. You would think this to be an ideal situation. But as I get older, I find more and more that I desire the sense that others are interested in me. I don't get this vibe from those I am close to.
    Yea, I love to discuss ideas. But when I try to express myself, I'm most often interrupted. I welcome interruptions that allow the focus to shift to someone else. But it seems that those prone to interrupting do this also when I'm trying tell them about what I've been thinking about. After the third interruption, I usually give up.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. jyrffw54

    jyrffw54 שכינה עוֹלֶה

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2010
    Threads:
    70
    Messages:
    9,342
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    6,872
    Trophy Points:
    579
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    I do, every once in a while, especially if the person is showing friendly, genuine interest...But usually, i am much more interested in what other people have to share. I love hearing their stories because it let's me view life from different perspectives
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  16. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,385
    Messages:
    28,113
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,666
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    This is probably what i've been trying to get at. I have a difficult time listening to someone talking in monologues endlessly about themselves without the opportunity to respond/reply. This amounts to someone talking at you rather than with you.

    Yeah, i prefer discussing ideas or perspectives. Too many interruptions and you lose the train of thought or forget what you're going to say. I admit that sometimes, because i have a sense of what someone will say, that i tend to but in to finish the thought, when they should be allowed to finish their thoughts *bad anita* but at the same time, there are those (and there are more doing this today than ever before) who will speak continuously without a break, and expect that the person listening should be so accommodating, and simply sit and listen for however long they'd like to speak. This is what becomes annoying. I prefer dialogue rather than alternating monologues.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #16 Gaze, Sep 6, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2010
  17. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,385
    Messages:
    28,113
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,666
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Yep, i think is the best approach. If they enjoy sharing their stories, then why not. :)


    I also tend to think i'm holding someone hostage when i'm discussing something personal or talking about something i'm interested in, so i worry that if i speak for long periods, i'm just going to seem imposing in expecting them to listen to something they may not want to hear about. So, in that sense, i'd rather just listen, but after a while it get's tiring simply being the good little listener.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #17 Gaze, Sep 6, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2010
  18. BlinkandThink

    BlinkandThink Community Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Threads:
    17
    Messages:
    699
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    FREE
    Enneagram:
    7w6
    I like talking about my thoughts and asking other people about theirs, but I don't like the feeling of a person asking me a bazillion questions. I'd rather be asked: "What's been on your mind lately?"


    My favorite conversations are imaginative and playful. Or discussions that lead to an insight of some kind. Otherwise, I'd prefer to do something instead of talk. The absolute worst is when we just did something together and they want to reminisce--in concrete terms--about the thing that just happened. In my head, I'm thinking: YEAH, I KNOW! I WAS THERE!


    But I don't say this, because it's rude. :m024:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  19. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Threads:
    245
    Messages:
    9,346
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,222
    Trophy Points:
    966
    MBTI:
    ^.^
    Enneagram:
    .
    i wonder how many people didn't answer this because they disliked it? :p
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  20. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Threads:
    762
    Messages:
    14,154
    Likes Received:
    1,298
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2 sx/so/sp
    In some senses I do enjoy it, in others I don't. It really comes down to what is going on, and who would become informed of this. I will not lie I tend to focus more on the positive aspects of my life, and when I do focus on something negative, I try to spin it to make it lighter. When I act all doom and gloom I feel like I am just trying to elict a sympathetic response in others and that makes me feel bad. As such I will avoid it. Even something as simple as facebook statuses make me act this way.

    With my close friends, I will explain to them (most of the time) in high detail what is going on in my life. On here I will do the same, but it is more so I can get my thoughts down on paper(text). The fact that I know some people will read it, gives me a sense of satisfaction that I am not completely "alone" in a sense. Even then I still sort of feel guilty about that.

    If someone asks me how things are going and I don't want to tell them the details I either make it more or less positive, short, or I will flat out ignore it. The reasons behind this are very diverse and often specefic for different people, but the action usually remains the sense. It just feels like I will be using too much energy to explain something going on in my life to them, and I don't want to expend that energy.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
Loading...

Share This Page