Do you like talking about yourself and what's happening in your life?

[Gaze]

For example, when someone asks how you're day's been, or what you've been doing lately, do you like talking about it?



Do you like this as a way to keep in touch with people?



If not, why do you dislike or not really care if someone asks you about what's been happening?



Side note: For some reason, i always prefer asking someone what's happening than answering those questions myself.

 

[mooseman]

For some reason, i always prefer asking someone what's happening than answering those questions myself.

Exactly same for me. I have to think twice to remember that other people might feel the same and be interested in me. Therefore I try to talk about myself just to be polite, but it's kind of a strain. Except with close friends.

 

[Gaze]

Exactly same for me. I have to think twice to remember that other people might feel the same and be interested in me. Therefore I try to talk about myself just to be polite, but it's kind of a strain. Except with close friends.

Yeah, i usually think in terms of, if i have something to share i'll share it. And since most people ask mainly to be polite, there's always the feeling that they really don't want to know, so then i think, i'd prefer if they didn't ask. I'd rather talk about thoughts or ideas, or some subject unrelated to me. But what's interesting is that i seem to be part of the minority who feel this way. And honestly, my life is not that interesting , so i don't really want to give the impression that i have much to talk about. I'd rather answer questions about what i think than who or how i am.

 

[mooseman]

Yeah, i usually think in terms of, if i have something to share i'll share it. And since most people ask mainly to be polite, there's always the feeling that they really don't want to know, so then i think, i'd prefer if they didn't ask. I'd rather talk about thoughts or ideas, or some subject unrelated to me. But what's interesting is that i seem to be part of the minority who feel this way. And honestly, my life is not that interesting , so i don't really want to give the impression that i have much to talk about. I'd rather answer questions about what i think than who or how i am.

Well put. And another thing - I dislike when someone gets impressed by something I have done. I think the relationship gets distorted if that happens, so I tend to tone myself down.

 

[Gaze]

Well put. And another thing - I dislike when someone gets impressed by something I have done. I think the relationship gets distorted if that happens, so I tend to tone myself down.

EXACTLY! I immediately feel the pressure to maintain a particular image when someone is impressed by some achievement. I begin to feel as if i'm supposed to demonstrate my abilities rather than behave normally.

 

[kerrime]

I do like talking about my day, if someone asks about it

But I also like asking people that question. . . because to me, if they do tell me something other than the usual 'it was good', then I believe they are opening up more to me. . . sort of welcoming me into their personal life. . . I like it

 

[deadred]

At 57, I know myself very well. It kinda depends on who I am talking with as far as "how are you" type stuff is concerned. If someone I've known for a long time asks, I'll bring out the details, and that is usually a two way street. If it's a stranger, or someone I don't know well, it will be superficial and "social" in tone.

 

[Gaze]

I do like talking about my day, if someone asks about it

But I also like asking people that question. . . because to me, if they do tell me something other than the usual 'it was good', then I believe they are opening up more to me. . . sort of welcoming me into their personal life. . . I like it

Hmm . . . i agree that it can be a way to get to know someone when they open up about personal details of their lives. When someone is willing to share something personal, that they wouldn't usually share with someone else, it makes me feel good that they trusted me with that information, but when it's the other way around, i tend to feel as if someone is prying when they ask me too many personal details, begins to feel somewhat like an interrogation. And to be honest, knowing personal details about someone's life doesn't really mean you know them as well as you think.

As selfish as it sounds, i'd rather someone get to know me on my own terms, i think this is because growing up, people had limited and superficial ways of getting to know someone whether it was how well you did or how good (character) you were, or whether or not you were doing what was expected, so i've taken the position at this point to not allow myself to be known through those aspects. Which is why i like communication online, because i think someone gets a better sense of my personality than those irl who're too often focused on what you do visibly or what you must show or prove to impress them.

 

[kerrime]

. And to be honest, knowing personal details about someone's life doesn't really mean you know them as well as you think.

I agree to this as well, but if it's something a person you've known for a long time hasn't said to you yet. . . there's a little bit of a victory in that. . I think. especially if they keep telling me about their day in the days that follow. . .

from what i gather. . you don't really share your day with other people. . .
would it mean that you trusted a person if you did share how your day went?

 

[rawr]

Side note: For some reason, i always prefer asking someone what's happening than answering those questions myself.

+1

 

[Gaze]

from what i gather. . you don't really share your day with other people. . .
would it mean that you trusted a person if you did share how your day went?

It's not that i don't share my day with other people, but it doesn't have the same value as someone sharing their day with me. And it wouldn't mean i trusted them any more or any less if i did, because if you and i are having a conversation and we have similar experiences, then i don't mind sharing them because we can at least relate to what the other is saying. But it doesn't really mean i've shared anything that someone else wouldn't if they were in the same situation.

 

[Odyne]

If it's people I am not close with, I don't mind it as long as it remains conversational and not too many personal questions that feel like an interrogation. I am a very private person, and I will not get into the details of my life. (Also, my life is complicated and I'd rather not explain it to every single person I meet, because there's a possibility they won't able to relate or understand what I am talking about)

 

[Gaze]

If it's people I am not close with, I don't mind it as long as it remains conversational and not too many personal questions that feel like an interrogation. I am a very private person, and I will not get into the details of my life.

Agree. I don't think people should be expected to share personal details of their lives unless it's necessary or they really care to.

 

[Norwich]

I don't enjoy talking about myself that much. As a result I often find myself surrounded by people that can't stop talking about themselves. You would think this to be an ideal situation. But as I get older, I find more and more that I desire the sense that others are interested in me. I don't get this vibe from those I am close to.

I'd rather answer questions about what i think than who or how i am.

Yea, I love to discuss ideas. But when I try to express myself, I'm most often interrupted. I welcome interruptions that allow the focus to shift to someone else. But it seems that those prone to interrupting do this also when I'm trying tell them about what I've been thinking about. After the third interruption, I usually give up.

 

[jyrffw54]

I do, every once in a while, especially if the person is showing friendly, genuine interest...But usually, i am much more interested in what other people have to share. I love hearing their stories because it let's me view life from different perspectives

 

[Gaze]

I don't enjoy talking about myself that much. As a result I often find myself surrounded by people that can't stop talking about themselves. You would think this to be an ideal situation. But as I get older, I find more and more that I desire the sense that others are interested in me. I don't get this vibe from those I am close to.

This is probably what i've been trying to get at. I have a difficult time listening to someone talking in monologues endlessly about themselves without the opportunity to respond/reply. This amounts to someone talking at you rather than with you.

Yea, I love to discuss ideas. But when I try to express myself, I'm most often interrupted. I welcome interruptions that allow the focus to shift to someone else. But it seems that those prone to interrupting do this also when I'm trying tell them about what I've been thinking about. After the third interruption, I usually give up

Yeah, i prefer discussing ideas or perspectives. Too many interruptions and you lose the train of thought or forget what you're going to say. I admit that sometimes, because i have a sense of what someone will say, that i tend to but in to finish the thought, when they should be allowed to finish their thoughts *bad anita* but at the same time, there are those (and there are more doing this today than ever before) who will speak continuously without a break, and expect that the person listening should be so accommodating, and simply sit and listen for however long they'd like to speak. This is what becomes annoying. I prefer dialogue rather than alternating monologues.

 

[Gaze]

I do, every once in a while, especially if the person is showing friendly, genuine interest...But usually, i am much more interested in what other people have to share. I love hearing their stories because it let's me view life from different perspectives

Yep, i think is the best approach. If they enjoy sharing their stories, then why not.


I also tend to think i'm holding someone hostage when i'm discussing something personal or talking about something i'm interested in, so i worry that if i speak for long periods, i'm just going to seem imposing in expecting them to listen to something they may not want to hear about. So, in that sense, i'd rather just listen, but after a while it get's tiring simply being the good little listener.

 

[BlinkandThink]

I like talking about my thoughts and asking other people about theirs, but I don't like the feeling of a person asking me a bazillion questions. I'd rather be asked: "What's been on your mind lately?"


My favorite conversations are imaginative and playful. Or discussions that lead to an insight of some kind. Otherwise, I'd prefer to do something instead of talk. The absolute worst is when we just did something together and they want to reminisce--in concrete terms--about the thing that just happened. In my head, I'm thinking: YEAH, I KNOW! I WAS THERE!


But I don't say this, because it's rude.

 

[TinyBubbles]

i wonder how many people didn't answer this because they disliked it?

 

[IndigoSensor]

In some senses I do enjoy it, in others I don't. It really comes down to what is going on, and who would become informed of this. I will not lie I tend to focus more on the positive aspects of my life, and when I do focus on something negative, I try to spin it to make it lighter. When I act all doom and gloom I feel like I am just trying to elict a sympathetic response in others and that makes me feel bad. As such I will avoid it. Even something as simple as facebook statuses make me act this way.

With my close friends, I will explain to them (most of the time) in high detail what is going on in my life. On here I will do the same, but it is more so I can get my thoughts down on paper(text). The fact that I know some people will read it, gives me a sense of satisfaction that I am not completely "alone" in a sense. Even then I still sort of feel guilty about that.

If someone asks me how things are going and I don't want to tell them the details I either make it more or less positive, short, or I will flat out ignore it. The reasons behind this are very diverse and often specefic for different people, but the action usually remains the sense. It just feels like I will be using too much energy to explain something going on in my life to them, and I don't want to expend that energy.