Do you feel physically ill when around conflict? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Do you feel physically ill when around conflict?

The only time I really get physical symptoms is if someone that I know and know to not be an unreasonable person confronts me on something Ive said. I get shaky hands in these situations and I don't like it.
 
I get what you're saying. But working with the premise that, once ignited within an individual, an emotion is meant to be "heard" or even "heeded", not as the sole "voice" of any given situation, but as a necessary "contributor", and when left "unheard" or "unheeded" it remains present within the body until which time it can be "voiced"... Then I would say that it is the fact that an INFJ is not Fi dominant that contributes to the physical manifestation.

It's basically a physical manifestation of unprocessed emotion.

Correct me if I'm wrong, then, but what you're suggesting here is that an emotion 'heard' and 'unheeded' and therefore 'unvoiced' would be a manifestation of the Ni or Ni + Fe. To a degree, I do know that is true. While Ni is completely cerebral, the Ni + Fe internal experience is knowing an emotion, being able to recognize and label it... but it is not processed as raw, emotional data that would overwhelm you bodily in the moment. The INFJ function order prevents that.

Fe is systems oriented. It processes emotions in terms of context and application exterior to the self. Then there's Ti. It's going to further compartmentalize what you're thinking and feeling sooner than it is going to let you experience it. That's why I said:

... the key difference is how often, to what degree, and how personal we make it [the emotionally charged experience].

Therefore, if your premise is true (and I do agree with you) it is actually more common for INFJs to have a delayed reaction to their feelings rather than an immediate one.
 
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When in the midst of a difficult situation I have two choices:

1. Actively do something about it.

2. Put up with physical aches and insomnia later on.


I mostly choose 1. Why I ever choose 2. (and I do sometimes) is a mystery to me.
 
...Therefore, if your premise is true (and I do agree with you) it is actually more common for INFJs to have a delayed reaction to their feelings rather than an immediate one.
It could be delayed, but not necessarily... It's very common for an INFJ to have a physical manifestation of unprocessed emotion that lingers within the body, and that unprocessed emotion might create a growing sensitivity.
 
It could be delayed, but not necessarily... It's very common for an INFJ to have a physical manifestation of unprocessed emotion that lingers within the body, and that unprocessed emotion might create a growing sensitivity.

And its much, much more common for INFPs to mistake themselves for INFJs. I won't say that an INFJ experiencing a physical manifestation of unprocessed emotion is impossible--like I said before, all types can be potentially prone to this--but I certainly wouldn't say it's typical either. Given the INFJ function line up, what you're suggesting is that this would be common in INTJs as well, and that is simply not true.

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Actually, I thought about this and I knew there was a reason this point was eating at the back of my mind. The acute remembrance and 'holding' of feeling would actually not be a function of Ni so much as it is would be a function of Si.

I know you will disagree with me, but the simple matter of fact here is that a dominant Fi makes you more 'in your skin' than a dominant or auxiliary Fe does. In terms of stimulation, if extroverted feeling and introverted feeling were two cups, introverted feeling would be the cup that is nearly full and the extroverted feeling cup would the one that is nearly empty. It doesn't take much to fill up the introverted feeling cup-- it's already almost at capacity because it is entirely capable of filling itself. Look at the INFP's functions. Extroverted intuition, as we all know, has a tendency to hyperbolize and introverted sensing as a tertiary function is ideal for digging up past experiences that can build on the current experience. Coupled with all that, we've got a pretty good recipe for both acute emotional experience and empathy as well as hypersensitivity. It's not just common in INFPs or ISFPs, it's almost expected.

Extroverted feeling, on the other hand, has a much larger capacity for stimulation and that stimulation is further projected outward. Bookended by two impersonal processing functions like Ni and Ti, any feelings coming in are mitigated by this cerebral framing. There's nothing inherent in the INFJ that would allow them to absorb and hold onto feelings differently than say an ENFJ or even an INTJ or INTP. Furthermore, the use of Fe can include but does not necessitate nor guarantee the experience of internal feelings in response to a situation. That's the key difference. This is exactly why INFJs are known more for their patience, calmness and almost zen-like long suffering than anything else. Unless the INFJ had undergone some emotional or psychological trauma, I would not say that a hair-trigger sensitivity on account of another's emotional upset is an INFJ trait.
 
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Certainly conflict can be stressful to me in varying degrees, but I can't recall ever experiencing somatic symptoms as a result.
 
I know you will disagree with me, but the simple matter of fact here is that a dominant Fi makes you more 'in your skin' than a dominant or auxiliary Fe does.
I actually don't disagree with this at all. I agree that an INFJ is much less present with his or her own emotion than an INFP would be. And I am suggesting that it is for this reason that it is more common for an INFJs own emotion to remain unprocessed and linger within the body.

Unless the INFJ had undergone some emotional or psychological trauma, I would not say that a hair-trigger sensitivity on account of another's emotional upset is an INFJ trait.
I also agree that emotional or psychological trauma would predispose any one of any type to that kind of sensitivity. But I am suggesting that an INFJs predisposition to have unprocessed emotion can lead to a chronic manifestation within the body that essentially spikes at times.

For the record, I'm not suggesting that INFPs don't experience physical manifestations. I'm just attempting to validate an INFJs experience of similar manifestations.
 
I had to rush my earlier response but I do have more to share...

Correct me if I'm wrong, then, but what you're suggesting here is that an emotion 'heard' and 'unheeded' and therefore 'unvoiced' would be a manifestation of the Ni or Ni + Fe. To a degree, I do know that is true. While Ni is completely cerebral, the Ni + Fe internal experience is knowing an emotion, being able to recognize and label it... but it is not processed as raw, emotional data that would overwhelm you bodily in the moment. The INFJ function order prevents that.

Fe is systems oriented. It processes emotions in terms of context and application exterior to the self. Then there's Ti. It's going to further compartmentalize what you're thinking and feeling sooner than it is going to let you experience it.
I would like to clarify something... Although emotion can be heard but unheeded, it can also simply be unheard. And I think this is a common reason an INFJ might experience a physical manifestation. Apart from that I think your description helps to illustrate the way in which the INFJ function order sets them up to be present for others in a way in which they are not present for themselves.

And I'd like to mention that, with it's tendency to break things down again and again, making finite distinctions while sorting experiences, Ni isolates the individual in terms of validation and the type of meaningful conversation about their experiences that would help facilitate the processing of emotions. So this contributes to the problem.

The acute remembrance and 'holding' of feeling would actually not be a function of Ni so much as it is would be a function of Si.
True, but Ni doesn't need to hold a feeling for Ni to contribute to the rise of an emotion in an INFJ. Ni simply needs to connect the dots and draw conclusions, and a corresponding emotion is produced from there.

In terms of stimulation, if extroverted feeling and introverted feeling were two cups, introverted feeling would be the cup that is nearly full and the extroverted feeling cup would the one that is nearly empty. It doesn't take much to fill up the introverted feeling cup-- it's already almost at capacity because it is entirely capable of filling itself. Look at the INFP's functions. Extroverted intuition, as we all know, has a tendency to hyperbolize and introverted sensing as a tertiary function is ideal for digging up past experiences that can build on the current experience. Coupled with all that, we've got a pretty good recipe for both acute emotional experience and empathy as well as hypersensitivity. It's not just common in INFPs or ISFPs, it's almost expected.
If you allow that INFJs have the opportunity for emotional stimulation then I would say that it is important to consider how one is able to maintain the optimal level of the contents of the cup.

Extroverted feeling, on the other hand, has a much larger capacity for stimulation and that stimulation is further projected outward. Bookended by two impersonal processing functions like Ni and Ti, any feelings coming in are mitigated by this cerebral framing. There's nothing inherent in the INFJ that would allow them to absorb and hold onto feelings differently than say an ENFJ or even an INTJ or INTP.
To understand my perspective you'll have to consider that their feelings aren't mitigated. For the most part, they are pushed to the side.

Furthermore, the use of Fe can include but does not necessitate nor guarantee the experience of internal feelings in response to a situation. That's the key difference. This is exactly why INFJs are known more for their patience, calmness and almost zen-like long suffering than anything else.
True, and healthy INFJs learn to effectively use detachment. But know that INFJs don't typically describe their internal life (which is also their resting place) as "zen-like". Instead they might choose words like dynamic and everchanging, acknowledging that with every new perspective there is something new to feel, but that they don't necessarily give much attention to that feeling because of the everchanging environment. Regardless, the feelings do tend to accumulate.
 
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