Do you ever hold back particular aspects of your personality with strangers, friends or lovedones? Why or why not?
I think I hold back a certain percentage of myself from everyone. For strangers, I hold back seventy-five percent of myself. I tend to become a chameleon in social situations. I try to become what the group wants me to be because I'm afraid of being who I actually am. For friends, I give exactly the opposite. I show about seventy-five percent of myself and that's only with close friends. I'm still worried about allowing that hidden twenty-five percent of myself show through. I'm not exactly sure why I'm so scared about it. I think that part of me expects people to not like me because I've been made fun of, and ignored in the past. It's obvious that my friends like me, and want me to be around, but I still hold on to the ideal that people think I'm just the weird girl in the corner.
Around loved ones I show about ninety percent of who I really am. I know this is probably a bad habit. Those are the people you are supposed to be comfortable around, but I seem to feel like I need to be perfect around them. I hide the ten percent that I don't think "works" with the relationship. It's as if I feel part of me is unacceptable.
Do you ever feel as if some aspects of your personality are too overwhelming for everyone to handle? Why or why not?
I think that part of me is too detached for people to handle. I don't like to talk about feelings, but I'll do it because I know that it's required in the majority of society. People want to know what you feel about things. They don't actually care what you think or why you think that way. When someone asks you about a subject they want to know your
feelings. They want to know how it affects you
emotionally. I, personally, don't care about that. Things don't affect me emotionally unless it is an extreme situation. I mean, yes, emotions are a part of everything. I do concede this fact, but I don't feel them the way other people do. I take a step back from everything and try to go about it logically. I don't want emotions to cloud everything. It makes me uncomfortable which in turns makes the people around me uncomfortable.
Do you think aspects of your personality are major turn offs? Why?
The fact I'm so into discussion and debate seems to turn people off. When someone makes a point I always want to know the thinking process behind it. I want to dig and dig and dig. It's as if others just want surface thinking processes. They don't want to know the why. They just want to know the finish product.
