Do you ever hold back aspects of your personality? | INFJ Forum

Do you ever hold back aspects of your personality?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, May 30, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    Do you ever hold back particular aspects of your personality with strangers, friends or lovedones? Why or why not?



    Do you ever feel as if some aspects of your personality are too overwhelming for everyone to handle? Why or why not?





    Do you think aspects of your personality are major turn offs? Why?
     
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    #1 Gaze, May 30, 2010
    Last edited: May 30, 2010
  2. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    I do hold back some things. Some people aren't as capable of handling certain aspects of my personality. For example, I try not to use sarcasm, satire, and over exaggerations around my family because they might actually take me seriously. I try to be completely myself with loved ones though, that's who they are trying to get to know, right?

    I have overwhelmed people who didn't know me well. I can come off as sexist, racist, and arrogant if you don't understand I'm joking. I can also come off as pessimistic as well. With that being said, I don't think I have qualities that are just ...too extreme for everyone. Uncaring as well.
    Some people are attracted to odd things. I'm sure someone out there will like all of the qualities I have. With that being said, I don't think I have any MAJOR turn offs though. My sarcasm in real life is often a make or break situation with a few people though.
     
  3. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Yes. I hold back certain parts of myself that I don't understand. I may think and feel these things, but if I don't understand them, I don't express them.

    As a result of not understanding certain parts of myself, I find that to express that would be overwhelming to myself and others. I hold back because I don't want to create an unnecessary situation or confusion or discomfort.

    I have this part of my personality where I just want to challenge everything.. Deconstruct everything and evaluate it a bunch of random different ways. It makes people uncomfortable because I like to pick apart things that they are comfortable with and offer them fragments of tangents of things to consider instead. It's unsettling, because I'm not skilled in thinking this way yet..

    Unless I have something solid and tangible and complete to offer in place of what I'm criticizing I'll usually just keep my mouth shut. (Unless I'm posting here. Then all of this is null and void. Ha.)

    Does that make sense?

    I'm sure there are aspects of my personality that are turn offs.
    Not everyone I've known has liked me. Not even everyone I like likes me.

    I know I have overwhelmed people with my frankness when I'm asked an uncomfortable question..
     
    #3 acd, May 30, 2010
    Last edited: May 30, 2010
  4. Skathac

    Skathac <font color=#27A601>Community Member</font>

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    Do you ever hold back particular aspects of your personality with strangers, friends or lovedones? Why or why not?

    Yes. Emotional Armor, its the only way i can deal day to day.

    Do you ever feel as if some aspects of your personality are too overwhelming for everyone to handle? Why or why not?

    Yes. I'm generally very quiet and reserved. To friends I can be quite animated and very much a wise ass. There are others but I think thats a good example.

    Do you think aspects of your personality are major turn offs? Why or why not?

    Maybe? I keep alot of things inside and have trouble interacting. When I do find someone I like I change, become more animated and try to be witty as an ice breaker. If its someone I'm attracted to I try to show interest without being creepy or too forward and sometimes I guess I just fail horribly.
     
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  5. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    oh yes. people here inspire me to open up though, such compassionate souls all of you :m032:
     
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  6. OP
    Gaze

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    Do you ever hold back particular aspects of your personality with strangers, friends or lovedones? Why or why not?

    Yes. I don't think that it's necessary to show or reveal everything to family or friends. Some things are just sacred i think. And we're all different, so some aspects of our personality probably won't make sense to them anyway.

    Do you ever feel as if some aspects of your personality are too overwhelming for everyone to handle? Why or why not?

    Yes. I have some annoying habits which i realize can me a little overbearing; i noticed this a while back and worked on limiting exposure to those aspects of my personality. I'm also not the person I was 10 years ago, and have changed quite a bit, but i think most people see the old person and not the new, because the growth or change is not "in your face."

    Do you think aspects of your personality are major turn offs? Why?

    Same as above. There are a few personality traits which i think can be turnoffs. I can be a bit awkward when I'm very nervous or uncomfortable. But in the end, I think if you're comfortable and confident, consider the other person's comfort when you're interacting with them, then I can adapt well enough and be more relaxed or comfortable.
     
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    #6 Gaze, May 30, 2010
    Last edited: May 30, 2010
  7. That Girl

    That Girl Do you have my answers?
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    I think I hold back a certain percentage of myself from everyone. For strangers, I hold back seventy-five percent of myself. I tend to become a chameleon in social situations. I try to become what the group wants me to be because I'm afraid of being who I actually am. For friends, I give exactly the opposite. I show about seventy-five percent of myself and that's only with close friends. I'm still worried about allowing that hidden twenty-five percent of myself show through. I'm not exactly sure why I'm so scared about it. I think that part of me expects people to not like me because I've been made fun of, and ignored in the past. It's obvious that my friends like me, and want me to be around, but I still hold on to the ideal that people think I'm just the weird girl in the corner.
    Around loved ones I show about ninety percent of who I really am. I know this is probably a bad habit. Those are the people you are supposed to be comfortable around, but I seem to feel like I need to be perfect around them. I hide the ten percent that I don't think "works" with the relationship. It's as if I feel part of me is unacceptable.



    I think that part of me is too detached for people to handle. I don't like to talk about feelings, but I'll do it because I know that it's required in the majority of society. People want to know what you feel about things. They don't actually care what you think or why you think that way. When someone asks you about a subject they want to know your feelings. They want to know how it affects you emotionally. I, personally, don't care about that. Things don't affect me emotionally unless it is an extreme situation. I mean, yes, emotions are a part of everything. I do concede this fact, but I don't feel them the way other people do. I take a step back from everything and try to go about it logically. I don't want emotions to cloud everything. It makes me uncomfortable which in turns makes the people around me uncomfortable.



    The fact I'm so into discussion and debate seems to turn people off. When someone makes a point I always want to know the thinking process behind it. I want to dig and dig and dig. It's as if others just want surface thinking processes. They don't want to know the why. They just want to know the finish product.
     
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  8. Tactical Panda

    Tactical Panda Community Member

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    All the time. I find its really useful - I reveal a hidden part of myself and make others suddenly reassess me when they realize I'm not faking. Add a dash of charm, and its usually quite fun.
    :m036:
    Sure - Does it count as feeling if they literally tell you though? It doesn't get much more obvious then that.
    Definitely. Once found that I wrote something so arrogant that my brain froze up in pain just trying to re-read it.
    :m133:
     
  9. chocky

    chocky Regular Poster

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    Hmm... strange question, the op.

    Is it even possible to engage the entirety of one's personality with another at any given time?
     
  10. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    Do you ever hold back particular aspects of your personality with strangers, friends or loved ones? Why or why not?

    Sure. More often with those I know less well and less often with those I know more well.

    When the social situation is more superficial then my higher goal is displaying a social self that is appropriate to the situation. When it's a closer situation I hide less because my higher goal is about being intimate and sharing of self.

    I'm always working to minimize conflict or discomfort with my expression, but in the first situation I do that more by being selective about what I reveal, in the second by dialoging about the discomfort what I reveal might create.

    Do you ever feel as if some aspects of your personality are too overwhelming for everyone to handle? Why or why not?

    I don't think I've ever felt I was too overwhelming, but I've felt that aspects of my personality would not be valued in certain situations.

    Do you think aspects of your personality are major turn offs? Why?

    I don't think there are aspects of my personality that are always turn offs to everyone, but yeah, I do think aspects of my personality have likelihood of turning various people off.

    I think two aspects of my personality that are difficult in many of the casual relationships I encounter are my quietness and my somewhat non-traditional perspectives.

    These same aspects are often positives in my more intimate relationships.

    The things that are difficult in more intimate relationships are far more variable and related to the specific personalities and needs of that intimate.
     
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  11. Matariki

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    I hold back the extroverted part of myself, but thats pretty much it.

    It just gets me into to much trouble. Sometimes I wish I could turn off my 'P'.
     
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  12. dark_angel

    dark_angel Community Member

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    Do you ever hold back particular aspects of your personality with strangers, friends or lovedones? Why or why not?
    All the time, no one truly knows me in totality. I would let a part of myself show and have it misunderstood and then I would pull back. My depth of interaction depends on whom I am interacting with.


    Do you ever feel as if some aspects of your personality are too overwhelming for everyone to handle? Why or why not?
    I have a strong presence in person which is either enticing for some or intimidating for others which is not meant at all. I am very empathic but can also tell it like it is if I am engaged in a confrontational and negative manner. I have experienced that most people enjoy having an aura of mystique and do not enjoy having that mystique unveiled unless of course it is flattering to them so being me is not always fun especially when they ask me to unveil not realising that I am able to.


    Do you think aspects of your personality are major turn offs? Why?

    I can be very stubborn if an issue goes against my morals, too independent, too critical, ideals too high. Depends on the person though
     
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