Do You Ever Feel Guilty For Feeling Good? | INFJ Forum

Do You Ever Feel Guilty For Feeling Good?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by dneecey, Jun 17, 2010.

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  1. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    Have you ever had a day where you just wake up and feel good? You are just happy and at peace? Then suddenly you feel guilty about feeling good? Like there are so many reasons to be upset and sad or down, but instead you just feel good.




    There is a lot going on with me personally right now. A LOT. But today, I just feel good. If someone were to look at my life in a box right now, I think they would be surprised that I am feeling good today. But I am. And at the same I kind of feel guilty about feeling good. Does this happen to anyone else?
     
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  2. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    I think my parents had a sort of habit of 'pulling me down' when I was in a good mood, not sure if it was jealousy or what, but I sort of built up an automatic guilt about being happy after that. My mom still always has to bring up some 'realist' perspective of how what I am happy about or an accomplishment isn't what it seems to be "well, don't _______," or "That is great, but ______."

    I can just hear it now! I think my dad was more prone to jealousy, and now that I am older I find myself doing it, which is why I figure that is why my dad does it. I try not to be that way, but I can't help but feel jealous sometimes when others are way happy and I get the urge to bring them down.

    I have really been working on breaking that, it is tough. It sort of ties in with social anxiety too for me personally.
     
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  3. OP
    dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    I can see what you're saying about tying into the social anxiety. Also, I think that the preprogrammed thing has some merit with me as well. A trait that perhaps was learned. Thanks for the input.
     
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  4. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    I don't want to give the impression that I blame my faults on my parents, I just offer candid explanation for cause and effect. Parenting isn't easy and I believe my parents did an excellent job.
     
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  5. OP
    dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    Yeah I didn't get that impression. I think sometimes people do things without thinking about them. Not everyone is constantly thinking about how their actions affect those around them. In fact very few people do. But the truth is that kids do learn some things by watching them done and certain things can be preprogrammed in that manner whether or not it was accidental.
     
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  6. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    Oh, I find it happens quite often with me as an adult as well. Never underestimate the power repitition holds over us!
     
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  7. aeon

    aeon Ooh, a bunny!
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    No, I can't say I have ever experienced that. :noidea:

    Well, unless you count the initial fake happiness that comes from doing something that you don't value, like getting high, which later turns to something else entirely. I think guilt would have been more pleasant than the experience of utter self-disappointment and despair at the choice to harm oneself and renounce the gift of one's own being.


    cheers,
    Ian
     
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  8. Matariki

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    Yes, I feel guilty when I am happy. I feel that I have not earned the rights to be happy. Whenever I feel happy I think of others that are sad. I feel selfish.
     
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  9. RecklessDreamer

    RecklessDreamer Permanent Fixture

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    I only feel guilty if someone close to me is feeling down :(
    Then, I feel like I shouldn't be happy when I can't make them happy, and that makes me sad. So then I'm not happy anymore, and I get upset that my moods been killed!
     
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  10. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    I don't feel guilty so much as amused when I'm feeling bonkers/hyperactive/cheerie.

    If you are feeling guilty about feeling good - be careful that you don't sub/un-consciously punish yourself and make yourself miserable/depressed. I can see such things happening easily when guilt is involved.
     
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  11. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    No I don't think so.

    Feeling good is always good, and contagious.
     
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  12. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I never feel guilty for feeling satisfied/happy with life...
    I'm having a difficult time understanding why anyone would persecute themselves so much to feel that they have to earn happiness, or that they don't deserve to be happy.

    You guys do deserve to be happy.

    Just beause there are terrible things in the world or in other people's lives doesn't mean you need to dwell on it.

    Your unhappiness is not going to make a difference.
    If there's a lot going on in your life, you're much more apt to deal with it and resolve it more efficiently with a happy attitude. Give yourself a break!
     
    #12 acd, Jun 18, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2010
  13. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    yes :(
     
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  14. analyst

    analyst Newbie

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    I am happy as hell of late, and I am awaiting being struck by lightening or being hit by a bus any day now. Maybe it's perfectionism, but I've never had a run where pretty much everything is going perfectly and had it be sustainable for an extended length of time. I also have had lots of bad shit happen to me in my past, so I have a hard time sometimes feeling like I deserve a streak of good fortune.
     
  15. invisible

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    i used to feel this way but then somehow it turned around and i just became grateful that i have the opportunity and am able to be happy!. hope things are looking up soon!
     
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