Do you downplay emotional problems? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Do you downplay emotional problems?

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Icedream said:
iu
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The world needs more ass, sass and grass. Or something.

I will not be oppressed regardless.
 
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Icedream said:
On that note, Do you feel that fe can manifest in different ways from one person to the next? That could explain differing opinions on what its nature really is.
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It is what it is very specifically, but may not be properly understood by some. That said, its usage has wide variability so the way in which people will relate to and describe its essence will be different.
 
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ClevelandINTP said:
I’d rather talk things out. Most chicks look down on that though. You have problems. Go see a therapist. You’re here to romance me, bang me and make me feel validated. You getting banged is the ultimate form of validation
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Man...

Look at it this way, at least you don't have to deal with wah wah. Your time is your own and you could use it to accomplish some really cool stuff.

You're free! Lucky man.


ClevelandINTP said:
Yes. Women are different these, days. Like most women are generally onboard with this
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It's ok, it'll get better.

You've just got to position yourself for who you want. Pursue your goals like a mad man.

Become great!
 
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Wyote said:
It is what it is very specifically, but may not be properly understood by some. That said, its usage has wide variability so the way in which people will relate to and describe its essence will be different.
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I agree with this. It's just worth bearing in mind, too, that 'Fe' doesn't 'exist' in any meaningful sense - it's simply a fairly useful concept that seems to describe an aspect of reality we can engage with relatively easily. Heinrich Rickert had a useful phrase to describe the essential unknowability of reality: the heterogenous continuum, which essentially means that 'nothing is the same, but everything is connected'. Forcing a reality that looks like this into universal categories is therefore problematic for obvious reasons. Take one example: I'm an INTJ, but there will be INFJs who are more similar to me than they are to some other INFJs; it doesn't make them 'secret INTJs', though.

So, using the analogy/language of the cognitive functions, I think that this is how I typically deal with emotional problems:

1) Fi: 'I feel shit'
2) Te: 'What's the problem?'
3) Ni-Fi: 'I feel like xwah, ywah, zwah'
4) Te: 'OK, it looks like x, y, z are causing you to feel shit. Do this to solve it (take action in the real world).'

I was talking to my INFJ about this, and she basically said that the dichotomy is a false one: it's not that emotions are necessarily downplayed for INFJs, but rather that it simply takes more time to process them. That some things are just 'let be' and are processed by Ni in the background until an 'aha' moment is had and the emotions make sense.

Perhaps this is because Fi is lower in the stack?
 
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Deleted member 16771 said:
it's not that emotions are necessarily downplayed for INFJs, but rather that it simply takes more time to process them. That some things are just 'let be' and are processed by Ni in the background until an 'aha' moment is had and the emotions make sense.

Perhaps this is because Fi is lower in the stack?
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Yep!
 
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@Deleted member 16771
- It depends on the situation whether I address or ignore my emotions.

I tend to try to make my emotions go away. I am keenly aware of it when I am feeling someone else's emotions and my default setting is to focus on the other person.

Sometimes people blindside me by saying I'm being emotional, passionate etc, when I am not feeling emotion (at least my own feelings) at all. I think this has to do with behavior or wording during discussions, or ... one of my least favorite traits... my general earnestness.

I'm very good at reading other people's emotions. It is often (usually, almost always) clear to me what the other person is feeling and why.

My SO has Fi and when he is upset his emotions seem very raw, sloppy, and self-focused. I can almost visualize a whirlpool going toward his emotional core. He is like this whenever he feels emotional. It is absolutely nothing like how I experience emotion on a regular basis. I can and do get sloppy over extreme situations when they build as if in a pressure cooker, and I'm particularly susceptible to this during heartbreak/romance problems, but I can't articulate why.

Whatever the issue is, emotion, or life decision, etc, I feel a level of detachment and can view myself almost in the third person, and address my "problem" as if I'm an outsider. My friends tell me this is creepy. Hahaha. So, when I address my emotions, I typically do it as if I am not the one feeling emotion. Addressing my emotions is something I'll do to make sure I'm being healthy, not because I feel an urge to focus on my emotional state.
 
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