Dating in 2020 | INFJ Forum

Dating in 2020

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Pin, Jan 5, 2021.

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  1. Yes Grandpa.

    3 vote(s)
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  2. Nah, I feel your pain bud

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  1. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    April Fool's: it's 2021.

    I was honestly thinking about it. I would rather have a few billion dollars than a date with most people. I think they're overrated as company. It's not that I'm necessarily better company than most people either.

    I would rather just have the cash in my account. I don't even want to spend the money on anything in particular. Maybe financial expenses. Maybe clothes. Definitely a lot of charities.

    I don't know why I dislike most people on the individual level. Am I mean? Am I judgemental? I have empathy, sympathy too. But I just can't stand the company of most individuals for an extended period of time.

    Call me a jerk, but I think conventional dating is very boring. Who wants to sit around and drink coffee? Jesus Christ.
     
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    #1 Pin, Jan 5, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2021
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  2. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    If you're still dating in 2020 @Pin you need stronger coffee :)
     
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  3. OP
    Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    LMAO.

    I lost my marbles.
     
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    #3 Pin, Jan 5, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2021
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  4. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Bag 'em up, lol.
    (I'm happy you have a great sense of humor Pin, it makes gaggs all the better :p)
     
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  5. OP
    Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    It's a skill, really. :laughing:
     
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  6. Winterflowers

    Winterflowers Community Member

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    You can do a lot with a few billion dollars. I don't blame you.

    My ideal date is helping somebody reorganize their home while we order in pizza & play our favorite songs/movies in the background.
     
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  7. slant

    slant Leave me be

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    Wow, pin.

    I think you need to spend time getting to know women. There are plenty of interesting, datable women out there and you're painting with a pretty broad brush here.
     
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  8. OP
    Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    I don't think you're wrong. The problem is really mine, I'm easily bored Slant.
     
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  9. OP
    Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    I was going to say BORING but that actually does beat sitting around and drinking coffee. The moving around to clean would probably get me tired enough to feel I was productive.
     
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  10. slant

    slant Leave me be

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    I would imagine it's hard to maintain relationships that are based on people's entertainment value.
     
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  11. OP
    Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    Fair.

    Relationships aren't always amusing but shouldn't getting to know someone be a fun process? Like, the beginning should be amusing right?
     
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  12. Winterflowers

    Winterflowers Community Member

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    My thinking is, it would inform me how we work together as a team, doing things a couple normally does, while being productive at the same time. Presumably we'd talk too <3
     
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  13. OP
    Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    Yeah, that's not a bad idea. The only problem with that is, it's easier to arrange a coffee date. Imagine saying "I think you're swell, may I clean your apartment with you?"
     
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  14. slant

    slant Leave me be

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    It depends, each relationship will feel different in the getting to know you process. What I can say is it should never feel like a chore to get to know somebody and if you ever feel that way, first of don't tell them because it's hurtful, and secondly you probably should just leave them alone in general so that they can invest their energy in someone who appreciates them.

    I get what you're going for I think; we all have "our people" that we vibe with and some people are not are people. I don't know if they're inherently boring, though. To somebody else they could be the most fascinating person on earth.

    We do want to invest our energy in meaningful interactions with others and not everyone brings us that. Sometimes though how much of the blame is on the other person vs the context is hard to tell.

    I'm ruining your cheeky thread lol
     
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  15. Winterflowers

    Winterflowers Community Member

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    That's why it's ideal for me.
    In practice it could be any partner-oriented task though. If you know them and listen to their daily story, most people have things they wouldn't mind help with. Not everybody has time or feels like dating; offering to help out with life's tedium is (to me) a win-win deal that's harder to ignore.
    Unless you don't know each other well. I wouldn't appreciate a stranger asking to get that close to me.
     
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  16. Sidis Coruscatis

    Sidis Coruscatis Community Member

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    I once read about the "camping test" which proposes that every couple should spend a week or two in a remote location to see how they handle unfavorable and stressful situations when they can't just walk away or distract themselves with technology before they decide to marry. Sounds reasonable enough, but I guess that's a bit beyond dating.
     
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  17. OP
    Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    I encourage people to do that as well.
     
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  18. milo

    milo Newbie

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    I find the idea of being in a relationship much more fulfilling than the idea of dating and I think that's the crux of my problem which tends to cause a bit of an emotional tearing within me as I want something I'm in no way fit to pursue. I'll never like dating all that much I think but maybe someday I can make a push to get enough exposure to dating where the act of it doesn't bother me so much. I don't know if I'd like dating any more less during any other time in history; I'm a creature of comfort and getting to know people and expose myself is something that takes me a lot of time regardless of current social expectations.
     
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  19. OP
    Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    Milo, I'm glad to hear from you. I'm also happy that you're okay.
     
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  20. Wyote

    Wyote ┄⍹┄
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    The idea behind the coffee date is to see if you can tolerate the person in a boring setting, which will be where you both exist for most of your life.
    The first "date" I went on with my gf was at a coffee shop and we talked for hours and lost track of time.

    I don't do "dates" though. They are stupid. I just happen to genuinely enjoy coffee and spend time at coffee and tea shops.
    Do something together in whatever environment you are probably going to exist in for a lot of your life.
    If the other person thinks/feels it's just as interesting/comfortable to be in that place, then they may end up being a good match for you.

    Dates where one person is trying to impress the other in some capacity are only good when both people have generally agreed that that is what is happening.
    Same thing with more/less excitement being involved.

    It sounds like you enjoy a lot of physical activity @Pin so you probably want somebody that is down for more of that.
    Just be up front about it and do things that involve activities that are more interesting to you.
     
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