Dating another INFJ | INFJ Forum

Dating another INFJ

rbecca23

rbecca23

Regular Poster
May 17, 2010
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How many of you have dated another INFJ?

I had a curious experience(s). When I first discovered that I was an INFJ, I was fascinated with finding out what my close relations were, as well. Interestingly enough, I discovered that my closest friends were at least INs. Upon further research and questioning, my even more significant relationships were INFJs, including my boyfriend of two years. What I found even more interesting was that my boyfriend had formed close attachments with my family members and friends who were also INFJs. And the bonds created have outlived my relationship with him.

On top of that, I learned that both my parents are INFJs, and their relationship is one that I'm confident will stand the test of time. They're ga-ga for each other.

Have you noticed this pattern in your lives? People bonding more strongly with other INs and INFJs? Rather than the 'intended' extroverts. Do you think it's because we feel less inclined to share our feelings with someone who's seemingly more 'open' about their own?

How did your relationships and friendships turn out?
 
Until I joined this forum, I'd never known any other INFJs very well, so I'm sorry to say that I really can't help you much from personal experience.

You may be interested in one of these threads, though:

INFJ Male/INFJ Female
INFJ+INFJ?

There are more, if you don't mind plowing through the search pages.
 
A great many of my friends are INs. I had a relationship with an INFJ, but I'm hesitant to draw any conclusions about type interactions from that. I'm INTJ anyways, so maybe it doesn't matter, but most human relationships are too complex to completely categorize with typology.

I find that with INs I can speak more freely without having to translate my thought patterns (N), plus they innately understand alone-time and such. In the relationship I would say... nahh, there's really not much I can extrapolate. I remember thinking that it would be nice if she was more extraverted than I, because as comfortable as it is to be in private, there are also lots of exciting things in the world. Sometimes it takes an extraverted person to drag you out and make you enjoy them.
 
Wow, it must have been an amazing experience to have both of your parents the same type as you. I was not that lucky. Though I would guess that you would like to seek something new for you love-life.

I'm most certainly attracted to other INFJs in some weird spiritual ways and feel very comfortable in the company of any N's. Similarities do attract.
 
I only know of two for sure that I have met irl (not including the forum members I have met). Another person might have been, but it was years ago. That's a lot of INFJ's around you for such a rare type. How did you type them? Did they all take the test?
 
I didn't not known the MBTI test before stopped dating. I can tell that most of my exes were E---'s. I have made some of my current friends take it, and one of my closest friends is an ENTP. She's dating another friend of mine, an ISTJ. Many of my friends are EN--'s, and we get along swimmingly.

I'm the only INFJ in our little group, and unanimously voted as the weirdest.
 
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We are quite different TC. If that make us weird--so be it. Most people can't handle different, that's why they create stereotypes. And by the way TC, O.C. Scott---INFJ!
 
I think most of my friends are extroverted. They're loud. I don't have a problem with it though. Andrew and I just get labeled as weirdos for wanting to be home half the time. They tease us but it's all in good fun. I think it depends on how accepting the people you know are of you as an individual regardless of typing. If they look at you and say "yes, that's my friend," and treat you as such then it should be at least a tolerable friendship (you know, the kind that they're in the group but you mostly talk to them about surface subjects).
 
Questingpoet said:
We are quite different TC. If that make us weird--so be it. Most people can't handle different, that's why they create stereotypes. And by the way TC, O.C. Scott---INFJ!
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I actually like being the weird one. It's like I'm the most interesting person of our group. I've always been called weird, and eventually I realized that normal is a paradox, and an unattainable state. Even if it were possible, it's not a place anyone really wants to be.

Plus, being weird is more fun!

Also, when I found out Card was an INFJ I did a little happy dance. :D
It's pretty cool that Mother Teresa and ML King are in there too ;)
 
Yeah, I typed OC Scott myself first, and then saw him on a list somewhere. But if you read his stuff it's real obvious, at least to me it is. Another one who I think is, but I haven't looked up, is Ursula LeGuin (The Earthsea Trilogy), her books scream INFJ to me just like Scott's did.

Ok, enough derailing. Back to dating INFJ's, sorry..........
 
Questingpoet said:
I only know of two for sure that I have met irl (not including the forum members I have met). Another person might have been, but it was years ago. That's a lot of INFJ's around you for such a rare type. How did you type them? Did they all take the test?
Click to expand...

Yes. I had them all take a test online. Sent out a Facebook Thread. The results ran as such:

3 family members.
4 of my closest friends.

I had a theory that birds of a feather flock together in this case... But, maybe not.
 
I read somewhere that Christ was an INFJ.

Supposing that not a lot of my friends are extroverts, what does that say about me? Is it for me to be accepting, or for those around me to be more accepting. Or is it relative?

After dating an INFJ for 3 years, I realize that I long for a more openly passionate person... who doesn't require an expert locksmith to get into their thoughts.
 
rbecca23 said:
I read somewhere that Christ was an INFJ.
Click to expand...



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Sounds more like an ESTP to me.

Anyway, I seem to attract introverts AND extraverts.
I like them all. Any type is awesome, they just need to be stable.
Like, having some empathy and all, but still be able to think rationally.
 
Therefore Chris said:
I actually like being the weird one. It's like I'm the most interesting person of our group. I've always been called weird, and eventually I realized that normal is a paradox, and an unattainable state. Even if it were possible, it's not a place anyone really wants to be.

Plus, being weird is more fun!

Also, when I found out Card was an INFJ I did a little happy dance. :D
It's pretty cool that Mother Teresa and ML King are in there too ;)
Click to expand...

I agree! I'm also pretty much unanimously voted as the most weird in all my groups ;)

I love being called that. you get to do so much more and can ignore conventions without serious reprecussions MUAHAHAHAH :m027:
 
rbecca23 said:
How many of you have dated another INFJ?

I had a curious experience(s). When I first discovered that I was an INFJ, I was fascinated with finding out what my close relations were, as well. Interestingly enough, I discovered that my closest friends were at least INs. Upon further research and questioning, my even more significant relationships were INFJs, including my boyfriend of two years. What I found even more interesting was that my boyfriend had formed close attachments with my family members and friends who were also INFJs. And the bonds created have outlived my relationship with him.

On top of that, I learned that both my parents are INFJs, and their relationship is one that I'm confident will stand the test of time. They're ga-ga for each other.

Have you noticed this pattern in your lives? People bonding more strongly with other INs and INFJs? Rather than the 'intended' extroverts. Do you think it's because we feel less inclined to share our feelings with someone who's seemingly more 'open' about their own?

How did your relationships and friendships turn out?
Click to expand...

That is just freakishly rare; I've never heard of or seen such a thing, and I think your experience is very unique. It makes me wonder if people have been typed correctly. Also, this test is 1000x better than any facebook test: http://similarminds.com/jung.html

especially the one that thinks Oprah is INFJ.
 
rbecca23 said:
I read somewhere that Christ was an INFJ.

Supposing that not a lot of my friends are extroverts, what does that say about me? Is it for me to be accepting, or for those around me to be more accepting. Or is it relative?

After dating an INFJ for 3 years, I realize that I long for a more openly passionate person... who doesn't require an expert locksmith to get into their thoughts.
Click to expand...

I think that it's relative, depending on who you're most comfortable around. For me, most of my friends are introverts because extroverts drain me easily and are overpowering at times. It's not that I'm not willing to accept them, but they just aren't people I'd prefer to spend a lot of time with. I prefer introverts becauce they tend to be easier for me to have conversations with. I'm usually never on the same page as an extrovert for very long. If people can't understand eachother, I doubt the amount of acceptance you have for eachother will really make much of a difference.

Introverts can be openly passionate, but I think it has to do with their confidence and how much they trust the person they're talking to, especially the INF's.
 
Dragon said:
That is just freakishly rare; I've never heard of or seen such a thing, and I think your experience is very unique. It makes me wonder if people have been typed correctly. Also, this test is 1000x better than any facebook test: http://similarminds.com/jung.html

especially the one that thinks Oprah is INFJ.
Click to expand...

Ha ha. The test wasn't off of Facebook, but you do have a point. I find that my introverted relationships are deep and intimate.
 
Now that I think about it, I am more comfortable around introverts. I trust them on a more spiritual/intellectual level.
Extroverts intimidate me, overwhelm me at times.
 
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